today is mother’s day, so to those of you who are celebrating, all the blessings and joy to you on this day.
all my food prep for lunch is done and i just finished watching the rules of engagement very strange and surreal little flick, i quite enjoyed it. the soundtrack is amazing and visually, it’s got that crisp independent feel without the shoddy camera work.
as the day progresses it’s getting hotter and hotter and i’m waiting on my exwife to call (she’s joining us for lunch) so i can start cooking. lunch is going to take 45 minutes exactly, right now all i have to do is put the stuff in the dishes and stick it in the oven.
i’m making a baked rice with chicken & mushrooms, one dish. based on a recipe i got from campbell’s (the base of dish is cream of mushoom soup)
i had forgotten what a joy cooking was, i still loathe my mother’s kitchen but the smell of seasoning on my hands makes it all go away. i miss the adventure, the smells, the anticipation of making something new. sigh.
i’m looking forward to sharing a kitchen with vic, who makes any culinary skills i have seem piddling by comparison. just another reason that she is my constant joy.
i slept fitfully last night, i haven’t done much today. went out and ordered a dining table for my mother for mother’s day, it should be delivered by tuesday (that’s what happens when you wait til the last minute)
i’m going to get the accoutrements i need to cook lunch tomorrow a little later (yeah, yeah, yeah, putting stuff off again.) but it’s too hot to do anything. i want to nap, but it’s too hot for that as well, so here i am sitting in front of the computer, skimming metafilter and checking out the boards i’m a member of.
of interest in the news is this times piece about one of their own “who made up sources, facts, and anecdotes in potentially hundreds of stories” (be forewarned, this is a really long piece and requires you to be a member)
and something that close to my heart – multiethnicity.
from the website: “The Melungeon Movement is intent on not defining, or even further refining, racial boundaries, but instead on blurring them. We believe in one human race and that by being permitted to embrace our full multi-cultural heritage, we can more quickly make this dream a reality”
and with less than 7 days to the matrix reloaded i would be amiss not to include this link about the religious undertones of the matrix (from the christian science monitor, no less)
i’m off to have a really long shower and try to nap for a bit.
today was exhausting, had to get ready for a presentation at 10, which got pushed back to 2:30, cause i wasn’t finished (there’s an ego boost) and of course at 1:15 the printer decides to go on the blink. eventually it gets printed. by the time it was all over it was midafternoon and i hadn’t had lunch, so i bailed for the day.
which brings me to the point of my somewhat sordid tale…
i work in what could be called in the most pleasant of terms a strip mall. there are a couple of places to eat, a supermarket, a bakery and the pharmacy that got robbed twice, across the street there is a school. it’s one of those schools where parents who can afford pack off the children who can’t cut in the mainstream educational system (it’s a little uncharitable but if i hear another ‘valley’ sounding girl, i may just rip someone head’s off.)
anyway on with our story… bear with me, this is really as it comes to me so there might be some digression. when my younger daughter was about 6 (might have been just a little older or younger, they grow so quickly… focus…) anyway, she used to like to sit with her legs apart and my mother scolded her and told her “ladies don’t sit like that” duly chastised she went home to her mother and told her what had transpired. her mother (a proud feminist) took umbrage and explained the whole victorian mindset of lady-like behaviour. upon my arrival and customary greeting of “good evening ladies” i was made aware that “there are no ladies here only women” by the little miss. (bear with me, there is a point to this story)
i totally agree with the statement and believe that women have the right to sit however they want. but (there had to be one hadn’t there…) if you’re wearing a skirt, sorry, we don’t need to see what colour panties you’re wearing or not wearing and if you shave or not. (look when i’m wearing a skirt/saraong, i don’t sit with my legs spread, no one needs to see)
(finally the point of the story) i was distressed while having lunch to see one of said school girls sitting a top one of the tables, legs akimbo, flashing the entire world (actually flashing is an indiscreet – ooops, i’m sitting badly) this was more along the lines of would you like to slip some money in my panties.
at this point a number of you are going ‘you sick fuck’, but understand me, i looked up from my meal and she was sitting out there and i thought, ‘that’s inappropriate’ and went back to my meal, when i was done, she was still sitting in the same position.
what disturbs me about this whole thing is that none of her friends/acquaintences thought it was worth a mention. the other camp is going as a responsible adult you should have said something. uh huh right, 6′ 2″ black guy with dreads goes up to little pale skinned schoolgirl to tell her goods are on display to the world… i would not be here writing this now, i would be languishing in a fucking jail cell.
which brings me to my next point, don’t these children’s parents teach them anything? right from wrong? just the basics, help them to make their own decisions later on in life.
fin.
my wrists hurt. i’ll round up the news and other links of interest later.
another sign of the impending apoclypse
Bush, Blair Nominated for Nobel Prize for Iraq War
if this is not a sign of the end times i don’t know what the fuck is.
a warm welcome to all the people who i’ve encouraged to start their own blog. congrats, i hope it proves as fulfilling to you as it does to me. i’ve been able to vent a lot of the rage and unhappiness in my life without hurting anyone. i’m struggling to hold on a daily basis, this has been a catharsis.
now a word from our sponsors…
mac humour
and we’re back, today feels like a good day. feels great actually, exciting, ripe, filled with possibilites.
obviously there is no blood gettting to my head, if i’m uttering shit like that. i’d planned to take the entire day off work today but we have to make a presentation to a client today and with my inability to focus yesterday i didn’t get anything done, funnily i’m not sure how much i’m going to get through today, i’m still in that space, i really need to fins an outlet for all this sexual energy. there are a lot of things masturbation doesn’t even begin to cover.
while we’re on the topic, here is a review of a book on the topic
and more fun with language
i need to get an early start so i bid you all a fond adieu
i’m at work and finding it hard to focus…
here’s a short list, you figure out why i can’t focus:
hearing my mistress whisper ‘pulchritude’ in my ear…
kneeling, blindfolded, waiting…
feeling her hands on my hips as she has her way with me…
to follow jesus, no turning back, no turning back…
well not quite, i’m not going to stress about this anymore. when the time is right it will get sorted out. i’m not giving up, i’m just not letting these people affect my life. i had a great night’s sleep and some truly lascivious dreams (always helpful in improving my mood) and i got up this morning and realised, that i’m in love with and married to someone who makes me incredibly happy, we’re not together right now, but that’s not insurmountable.
i am going to call this morning before i go to work and keep calling til i hear something but, in the mean time, i’ll make plans to see vic when i can. i’m going to spend the rest of my life with her, this time is but a drop in the bucket.
in other news (i’ve been up far too long) here are a couple of entertainments to take you through the day, some of them are a little old, i wasn’t up to the news yesterday (really now)
Microsloth truly in the shit (i kid you not) there is also a picture
and last but not least, fresh off the presses today…
TV watchdog checks claims of bias on Murdoch channel which is no fun without this tidbit
enjoy yourselves people, i’ll be back later.
so now i’m not longer blinded by rage, i’m just quietly angry, it’s just a dull throbbing in the back of my head, i’ve secluded myself at work… looking for images. i can’t actually work, i am so unfocussed right now it isn’t funny.
i’m tired. i feel beaten. i would cry if i thought i would be able to stop or if there were enough tears in the world. i wont ever consider giving up because i don’t think i’d ever be happy again if i did.
but i don’t know what else to do. i do actually, the anal retentive in me always has a plan B thru F.
the question is how viable are these plans and how much longer do i have to wait.
all i really want is to fall asleep next to vic every night, for us to be safe together, i don’t care where, just as long as we’re together.
is that too much to ask? is that so difficult?
a friend told me that i’ll be able look back on this and laugh at some point, i’d just like to know when.
what also pisses me off is the fucking attitude of these people – we own your lives so we can treat you however we like and because of sept 11 we don’t have to answer to anyone, fuck you very much.
i…
FUCK!
i am so angry right now. and what’s worse there is no focal point. my head is throbbing. i’m supposed to go in to work now, but i don’t know if i can, i need a room with padded walls where i can scream and throw stuff and not injure myself.
why? why is this so hard?
there is only one reason i have not just given up is victoria. i have never been happier or more complete and no amount of fucking bureaucracy and moron employees is going to take that away from me.
i just caught the beginning of escape from LA and thought – fact is truly stranger than fiction, everyday i read something else that makes me ponder about the ‘land of the free’ concept…
there is the latest insanity by walmart (don’t these people have anything better to do with their fucking time)
and then there is this brilliant piece in the Progressive Review about the current us adminstration trying to teach the iraqis democracy any thing that begins like this:
Tired of killing Muslims, we are now trying to teach their survivors some democracy.
There are a number of practical problems with this, among them being that the curriculum is in the hands of the most authoritarian, deceitful, anti-democratic, and constitution-wrecking administration we’ve ever had. But there’s an even more disturbing matter: wander around your nation’s capital and try to find something better. Leaving aside anomalies such as the ACLU and the Cato Institute, a few members of Congress, and a handful of anachronic journalists, this town shows virtually no interest in liberty, the Constitution, or democracy these days – except when prescribing them to those in far away lands.
read it in it’s entirety here
and for those of you who wonder where i get a lot of my entertainments, try metafilter (thank you vic)
ooooh, just saw this one truly a woman after my own heart.
i’m off to keep myself distracted, i don’t seem to have an kind of control over my body, not that i want to, but it’s just so pointless by myself.
