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all pain is relative

September 8, 2003 — Leave a comment

i have eight tattoos and 4 piercings.

the piercings are all standard, two in my left ear, one in my right and my tongue. i`ve had my ears pierced since the 80s. it seems funny to say that, but i`ve had my ears pierced almost half my life.

i did them at different points over the period of a year, much to my mother`s chagrin, but by the time she realised they had been done, they were healed.

the tongue was and is my last piercing. i have no desire to do anywhere else. i had it done in london just over 3 years ago. the immediate pain was like biting my tongue and for the days following i lived on soup, spaghetti and other easily swallowed food all chased by my ever present companion listerine.

most people don`t know my tongue is pierced, i don`t click, i don`t lisp and i don`t play with it in public. i like to believe my piercing is functional, not decorative.

my first tattoo was a mouse done in my apartment by a guy with a needle, it wasn`t very attractive and i`m proud to say it`s since been covered by the moon on my right bicep.

my first real tattoo was a 13″ sun on my right shoulder blade. it took three sittings to complete. i spent most of the first sitting fighting back the tears with the bene gesserit mantra, however towards the end of the sitting some girl walked in and completely broke my concentration. i finally broke down and cried.

the second and third sitting, as well as the moon on my bicep and my daughter`s name in sanskrit was a walk in the park. i had learned the joy of pain.

the first prick of the needle is always unexpected, but after a while the hum of the machine, the smell of ink and blood and the sting of your skin becomes quite comforting. i think that`s what makes tattoos so addictive.

originally the theme of my ink was stellar. the sun on my back, the moon on my bicep, a comet on left forearm. but it changed somewhere along the line. it`s more about permanence. the ourobus on my right forearm is a symbol of fertility and the infinite. the waves at the base of my spine are off my wedding band.

i`m in the process of doing a new piece which is somewhat indicative of the confusion and frustration in my life now. it hasn`t been titled yet. i feel the need to get back to it.

vic is back. woo hoo.
today is now official perfect. 

yes, the simple things in life make me happy. forget the rest of crap that’s going wrong today (tattoo guy bailed on the interview today, the phones in the office are down, my boss has thrown a monkey wrench into my carefully arranged shoot this weekend (yes, it is thursday, she’s changing models…) and my anger towards her has sucked all the inspiration for this new campaign out of me.)

my love is back and right now that’s all that matters. i’m going to finish watching real women have curves see if that doesn’t bring some light back in brain. if that doesn’t work, i’m taking the work home. there is a certain comfort and inspiration to sitting around my house working.

i mentioned in another post, that i reach an almost zen like state when i get ink. it’s kind of hard to explain, you tune out most of the pain and focus on the hum of the machine, breathing, drifting. it’s an amazing feeling, then when it’s done, there is the tingling sensation on area that’s been tattoo’d grounding you almost. or it could just be me.

anyway, i’m back to the grind. links and more later.

just an early morning post to test the music feature on JS.

i’m trying not to be exceptionally late for work, i have an interview to conduct. i don’t think i’m a bad manager particularly but i’ve never liked being interviewed and i think it shows, i come off as abupt. time to get going, i’ve got a long day ahead, the high point of which is vic’s return. i’ve missed her fiercely, but gladly i haven’t been all whiny, i feel positive and at the breakdown point i got some ink, which usually puts me in a zen like place. (i’ll explain later)

in other news vic’s ticket is booked for a july visit. i wont start counting down the days just yet, things have a habit of going pear shaped at the last minute. i’m saying prayers to all the divinities and keeping all my appendages crossed.

off to save the world, peace.

stealing time

June 3, 2003 — Leave a comment

i’m waiting for my daughter to finish up in the library so we can go home and addict that i am, i decided that a quick post was in order.

also some clarification. i have nothing against naturally thin women or big women that are seeking to get to a healthier weight. my problem lies with women who have never been and/or will never be a size (insert size here) and starving, carving and maiming themselves for this unattainable ideal. just so we’re clear.

so k got her ink today finally and i got to continue you my very large and ornate piece (pic tomorrow when it’s not so gross). i realise i do get off on the pain to some extent and now k, is trying to convince me to pierce my nipples (i worry that i’ll lose the lovely sensitivity).

k’s phoenix is beautiful and she was quite the trooper, while i whimpered and flinched, she just sat there smiled. once darren starts work i’m fine, but it’s the initial stick of needle that’s the fucking bastard.

i maybe on the radio in the morning talking about being tattoo’d and pierced but i need to check with k first. time to go get the chica. adieu.

strangely the itching has begun, usually it takes two or three days before it starts, i realise that most of my post about this tattoo, i should point out that i have others and they can be see here 

my tattoos 

i swear this is my last tattoo. my friend sam told me to keep saying that and i may convince myself yet. 

tonight is going to be an early night, i’m still in pain, still without cable, my boss is back tomorrow and i’m taking wednesday off to see the matrix, so i have to make sure all my shit is wrapped up. 

as soon as i get near a digital camera, i’m going document this work in progress. i’m looking at 2 or 3 weeks of ink, about twice a week. fun, fun, fun. 

gnight to one and all

i am returned

May 18, 2003 — Leave a comment

i still ache and had to sleep on my stomach last night, but i stood in the mirror today and this is so definitely worth the pain. 

ok, i think i’m in a better position to describe the tattoo, it’s starts on my chest, left and right side, goes over the shoulder, crosses on my upper back and recrosses to end in a point midway down my spine, the best way to describe it, is a pair of folded wings or a heart.

formula one today kicked major fucking ass. two false starts, ferarri on fire in the pits. what more could i ask for. i had a blast then i geeked out and finished setting up a machine for the rest of the day and then saw one of the funniest episodes samuari jack – jack through the looking glass. the writers were very definitely on class A drugs.

i miss victoria, on many levels and of late, the physical needs have become very dominant. getting inked hasn’t helped, my level of arousal has leapt through the roof. yes, the pain is a turn on. ok. sort of suffering for your art. lol. but i realised last night that the situation is getting completely out of hand, i saw anna nicole smith on tv and thought, you know she isn’t so bad…

i need my wife! I WANT MY WIFE!


i must not fear. fear is the mind killer. fear is the little death that brings about total obliteration. i will face my fear. i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past, i will turn with the inner eye to see it’s path. where the fear has gone, there will be nothing, only i will remain. 

i’ll be back later.

i’ve just done one shoulder blade, there is still the work down my spine to be done and over the collarbone to the front.

the pain ain’t no where done yet. the bene gesserit mantra helps, but it is the beauty of the finished work that i can focus on, like the blog the pain is catharsis.

i am hard pressed to describe what this particular piece is, so i intend to call it conclusion.

as i said before this is my last major work, it’s tribal in interpretation there are hearts and birds and light.

i’m crashing by a friend without a landline tonight to fix her computer and watch formula one in the morning, speaking of which let me go check what the qualifying was this morning. missed that too this morning. sigh.

have a great night, i’ll be back on the morrow.

god, i love it. i spent most of today at my tattoo aritist we worked out what my last piece is going to be.

yes, this the final major work, i’m doing, after this the names of any future children, that’s it.

so he started, a lot of it is on my shoulder blades and my spine, i am in so much fucking pain right now. i’m going back on wednesday to do some more, this is going to be done in stages over the next couple of weeks. yes it’s that big, pictures will follow as each section is completed.

anyway my daughter is waiting, i’ll be back with more details later.

oh dear

May 16, 2003 — Leave a comment

so i didn’t pay the cable bill and it got disconnected, no big deal really, i can read, i can go online.

BUT… it’s a race weekend (formula one, need to see if ferarri can keep up their winning ways) and tuesday is the gilmore girls/smallville season finale.

what to do, what to do?

i’m off to see my tattoo artist in the morning, i’m feeling the calling… time for more ink, it’s going to big, it’s going to be elaborate, it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker.

the list of things i’m going to do this evening, now that i have no cable…

1. finish designing the new ink
2. finish watching welcome to collinwood
3. get back to the richard brautigan

i try not to be a chauvanist bastard. and looking at me on a day to day basis i may not seem like much of a fashion maven but guess what i am. scuffy at work, but debonair and dashing when i need to. 🙂

anyway the point of this is, it’s always a pleasure to see well attired people but why spoil it with VPL. i think my problem with it now, is the multiplicity of choices… thongs, boxers, bikinis, tangas, hip huggers, string panties, nothing even. but VPL needs to be banished.

my friend karen has even started the BTPM – burn the panty movement. so i’m not alone here.

so i’ve calmed down considerable, but i still need to figure out a way to vent. i’m still a little to edgy.

it’s time to get a new tattoo, i’m working on a design that extends from my left breast, round my neck to my right shoulder blade. this is going to be last piece for a while but i still have the waves at the base of the spine to finish and i have a general idea what i want but the design isn’t quite coming together yet.

well it’s tuesday night and the wb becons.