perfectionist with a god complex
i am exhausted.
between getting hijacked by the airline last night, hanging out with one of my best friends last night, then staying up and chatting with my mom until some ungodly hour, then up early this morning, getting my hair washed, hanging out with one of my girls and attending a wedding reception.
now i`m going to crash on the couch and hopefully make it through to the end before falling asleep.
this is the first time i`m flying into DC but i`ve been there before under a very interesting set of circumstances too.
in 1998, i took a hiatus from my job and went to NY and interned at an art gallery in the east village for six weeks. while i was there i managed my editor in trinidad and the pr company for the tibetian freedom concert that my coverage would be a good thing. i think this story is more interesting that the one i submitted.
so after much back and forth between my editor and the pr company, i was told to pick up my tickets at the will call window of rfk stadium in dc. at this point i had no idea how i was getting there, limited financial resources, no idea where i was staying [it was a two day concert], but i was going. two days of the best performers, i had camera, i had notebook, it was free, i just need to get there. it was all part of the grand adventure.
i work out the cheapest way for me to get there was by bus. getting there was no big. now here was the rub, i had no idea where i was, where the stadium was or the distance between the two. luckily i ran into the two kids, i can`t even remember their names now, but they couldn`t have been older than 16.
they like me, were from out of town and just as clueless, but we decided to pool our meagre resources and took a cab to the stadium, the ride itself seemed straightforward and took about 35 minutes. keep this in mind, because it`s pivotal to our hero`s tale.
when we got to the stadium, we split up while i went to get my passes and find a vantage point to take in the day`s performances. i can`t remember most of the acts that crossed the stage that day with the exception of dave matthews. typing this i have goosebumps. he was amazing and the most spectacular cover of all along the watchtower.
there are pictures, somewhere, i know there are and when vic and i finally unpack my copious amounts of crap, i`ll scan and post them. this was pre-digital days.
after dave, i wandered around taking pictures writing notes, pondering my budget and how i was going to eat and not get dehydrated on the money i had. suddenly, i noticed a flux of people with passes similar to mine heading into an enclosed area, i had found the holy land, nirvana, the press tent.
perhaps i should explain, at an event with this many stars, this volume of international press coverage and managed by a pr firm, a press tent is an oasis in the desert. it usual means, phones, internet, food and drink. and i was right.
i got bumped by someone famous who was exiting an interview, but at that point it didn`t matter, i had shelter, i had food and i had what passed in those days for highspeed internet connection. i didn`t have a story to file, but i could just sit and enjoy the cool and watch the event on the monitors.
sadly it was not to be. this is where it got really exciting, about 15 minutes after i got to there we were advised we all had to leave there was a tornado warning in effect. puzzled and stunned i filed my way out along with everyone else and struck up a conversation with a report for one of the local affiliates and was angling my way into finding somewhere to crash for the night. and even more shit happened.
remember the girl that got struck by lightening at some concert in dc? it was this concert and i was there. the rain was falling and all the media deziens were sitting on the some steps to the back of the stadium when the buzz started. someone got struck by lightening. inside the stadium. they were stopping the concert. it`s funny for people who job is supposed to factual there was a lot of hearsay and gossiping going on before the formal annoucement. when everything was confirmed all hell broke loose, my new friend and possible source of housing bolted with her camera crew to cover the story and i was pretty much left to my lonesome with the non-english speaking media and fanzine guys.
as if this weren`t bad it enough at this point, the heavens opened up and poured. i like rain. hmmmm, let me qualify that, i like warm tropical rain. not that cold stinging shit that was being dumped out of the sky on me. and that point, i had no choice. the concert was over for the day, i had nowhere to stay and not enough money for a cab. so i began my trek in the rain back to the bus station.
now there is a long standing joke amoung my friends that i`ve sold my soul to the devil for parking and an unfailing sense of direction. the parking thing is scary but is a tale for another day. however the sense of direction has served me in good stead and none greater than that cold, damp saturday in dc. i had no real idea where i was going, i was just walking and picking streets at random because they looked like they would take me where i was going and lo and behold there was the bus station. i`d found my way back.
wet, tired and disappointed i made my way back to new york and caught highlights of the next day on tv. funnily it was only during the following week i remembered the one person that would have put me up no problem, but then i wouldn`t have this tale.
Technorati Tags:
washinton, dc, tibetian freedom concert, 1998
this is the final curtain.
and i`m ready to get the fuck out of dodge. i`m irritable, i don`t want to be here anymore.
why is it on my last day of work, i feel so sullen and ill tempered? this is a good day. right? i don`t get this. i shouldn`t be feeling like this, but i want to hide away from everyone.
and in combination with this, my finger hurts. i managed to take a healthy chunk out of it with a sharp knife yesterday making dinner.
what is this malaise?
and what`s upsetting me is that i have no reason to feel this way. it`s my last day, i`m off to trinidad tomorrow. i get to see the children, i get to celebrate my daughter`s birthday with her and then i`m off to vic.
what is there to irritate me?
at work. i haven`t done fuck all day. well that`s not entirely true. i haven`t done any work. i`m still waiting on pictures and info for the annual report. i`ve organised all the jobs i worked on so anyone with even the smallest iota of common sense can find them.
other than that vic and i have been exchanging a flurry of emails. we`re been organising and planning and generally being completely excited. our big day is five days away, she`s nesting and i`ve been packing. i`m pretty much packed now. i have some stuff to buy for the nearest and dearest before i leave, but that`s about it.
as much as we`d like to spend at least a week locked away frolicking, there are some practical concerns that have to be taken care of; license, insurance, more crap with the ins. plus the boy chick still has school and i`m not the sort of person to sit around and scratch my ass all day, so i need to find a job and quickly.
i still haven`t finished the dc story, but it is progressing nicely. hopefully if i don`t finish it before saturday, i can do so on the plane.
Technorati Tags:
immigration, moving
someone asked an interesting question in response to my last post. i was going to answer it as a comment, but i thought it required more attention than that.
vic and i are not living in a fairy tale and we know that. things are not going to be peachy and perfect all the time. we both have our off days, luckily we seem to have them when we can provide the most support to each other.
we`re both strong willed people and we`re both accustomed to doing things a certain way, we`re sure it`s going to take some getting used to.
what we have going for us, is our ability to talk about anything without discomfort or contention. we expect there will be problems, but we also thing we can sit and talk about them and work them out. there are going to be external forces to deal with as well, but we will try and work those out in the safest possible manner for us and that`s a family us.
we`re going to try and deal with each day as it comes. we have shared long term goals that we`ll be working towards when i get settled. in the interim, it`s about learning to live with each other and getting comfortable sharing a physical space.
i know it`s not going to be perfect all the time but i think if we abide the rule to not go to bed angry, i think we can face whatever challenges come up, together.
ash wednesday is a public holiday in jamaica, but i`m in the office.
i`m trying to wrap up the design of this annual report before i leave, there are volumes of information missing but i think if i can at least create a template, whoever is wrapping it up after i leave should have no problem.
today is a very laid back day, no one is in the office and i`m churning through the page. i prefer to work like this, empty office, just me, music as loud as i want it, no ringing phones, no conversation. i`m more productive in solitude.
i`ve also realised i don`t get going before 11am, i come in early, but i check my mail, i read stuff online and basically look productive before i actually start work.
i`ve also been working on a story to post here, it`s tale about my first trip to dc, it`s coming along nicely but every now and again, i lose the thread of the story, so i`ve decided to shelve it for a little while and work on it when i get home.
i think i can`t completely focus on it on anything else because i`m so excited. six more days. this time next week i would have spent my first night in vic`s arms without the spectre of when one of us has to leave ever again.
Step 1: Open your mp3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: List the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
and here is mine:
Nu Flow – Big Brovaz
If You Leave – OMD
Get Busy – Sean Paul
Poison [Environmental Remix] – Prodigy
Hopeless – Dionne Farris
My Friend Of Misery – Metallica
Digital ft. KRS-1 – Goldie
Eric the Pilot, Pt.2 – Henry Rollins
Deus ex machina – Eddie Izzard
Soon All Will Know – Marsalis, Wynton
Do you think a child molester can be rehabilitated? Would you trust a rehabilitated child molester recently released from prison and living on your block?
no. i don`t even care if they can be. not anywhere around my children. there are things i`m liberal about not my children and their well being.
end of conversation
this is the last week. this time next week i`ll be on my way. time flies when you`re having fun. i don`t know where last week went and i`m hoping this one goes by just as quickly.
dhl seems to have misplaced one of my boxes of books and i`m trying not to lose my mind or my temper but i`m been calling their offices for 30 minutes and no one has answered the phone. update, the other box is in cincinnati, i have no idea why, but they are apologetic enough, so i`m willing to cut them some slack.
i so don`t want to be at work today. everyone`s voice is grating, i`m a little irritable. i just want to be on my way. sigh.
i`m packed except for the clothes i`m wearing now and i have out for the rest of the week. i`m ready to go. i was ready to bail yesterday after a falling out with the accountant, who is both incompetent and arrogant, always a bad combination in my estimation. he managed to set everything right.
i`m just so restless. i need to remain focussed on the positive. soon, soon, soon. 7 days and counting.
You and your mate/spouse have been going through drama for a while now. They have been cheating on you for a minute and you know this for sure, but the only thing is that they don`t know that you know they are cheating. You are strategically planning to leave them because you can`t take it anymore, knowing they are sleeping with someone else besides you, but then 2 weeks before you decide you are leaving their ass, they win the lotto …now do you stay or do you still leave?
if money is all it takes to keep you content, maybe that`s at the crux of what is wrong with your relationship in the first place.
but that is just my 2¢.
my moral high ground is really just an anthill but there are things i stand by. if i`ve made a decision to leave, i`m not hanging around for money.