Archives For rants

say what you want, support the troops, support the war, but there is a line that has to be drawn somewhere, while we`ve been distracted by Martha, the eating/drug problems of the Olsen twins and the capture of wanted dissenter; Bobby Fischer, things thought hidden and withheld are coming to light.

the debacle that is Abu Ghraib has take a turn for the worse. what`s worse that the torture, how about the rape of little boys; in front of their mothers. what kind of fucking sick shit is that. there is no justification for that. and the fact that the story broke internationally at least a week ago and there has been no coverage in major US news outlet, shows… i don`t even know what i want to say anymore.

i can`t even find the words… i`m sitting here reading the stories on the verge of tears. i`m not sure why i want to cry, whether it`s rage over the fact that a government would allow or much worse encourage something like this or my fear for my own children and family in the inevitable reaction to this.

i`m just going to post some of the links now because i am completely at a loss for words, a word of warning, these stories are not for the faint of heart.

Google Search Results
Guardian UK
Google translation of Der Speigel article

i love driving but i wish that there would be one day a year when we could have open season on the fuckwits that share the roads.

topping this list would the idiots who think it`s bright to cross the street in a haphazard manner when there is a cross walk not even an extra step away. you deserve to die and if it wouldn`t cause damage to my car, i`d run you over myself.

next are the idiot SUV drivers, i believe i have a new spatial theory; the size of the SUV is inversely proportional to the ability of the driver to traverse a corner in the correct lane. or maybe it`s because they`ve been deluding about themselves about the actually their microscopic penises and thus have no idea how measurement works for the rest of us in the real world.

coming in close behind are these morons with two hands; filled with cigarettes and cellphones; and half a brain. it`s obvious by the way you drive you can`t perform more than one task at a time, why tax your pea-sized brain. either smoke and drive or talk on the phone and drive, you can`t manage both, so don`t even try.

garnering a special mention on this list are the morons who change lanes, turn corners suddenly, without indicating. i believe that the stalk for the indicator should be surgically attached to their ass to forever remind them what they are supposed to do when they are turning a corner or changing lanes.

or as uncle says `one more thing`

it`s always one more thing isn`t it.

fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck!


nothing is ever fucking easy. after how many phone calls to the embassy and promises to call as soon as they have my packet and a fucking call today, mind you. no we don`t have your packet. fucking morons.

vic gets a call to say, oh yeah, we have the packet but you`re certificate of character is out of date and needs to be renewed before we can issue your visa and btw you have to do this before feb 9 or you`ll have to do your medical over and if you don`t mind you have to come in, in person.

there a few problems with all of this:

1. i can`t afford to go back to trinidad to get another certificate.

1b. [update] i don`t have to go, i just can get it updated, but it`s going to take two weeks.

2. i can`t really afford to barbados [but i`m going to have to]

2b. i can`t afford to take the time off to fly to bardbados either.

3. if i miss the window, [which gives me all of next week to get the shit together, while doing this current project which needs to be finished by feb 6] which is feb 9, i can`t afford to do another medical again either.

so at any angle we have been ass fucked with a sandpaper and barbed wire condom without so much as a peck on the cheek.

if anyone has any suggestions, i`m willing to listen.

i have a plan, but all the variables are completely out of my control and the blood is thumping a little to loudly in my temples at the moment for me to come up with alternate version.

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trifling, pedantic shit

December 28, 2003 — Leave a comment

three days of good karma, peace on earth, goodwill to all, fucked over royally with less than 2 hours remaining in trinidad.

when i left trinidad in november i had four pieces of hand luggage, one of them was my pool cue in its case, when i left jamaica on christmas eve, again one of my pieces of hand luggage was my pool cue in its case.

how is it possible that this morning a pool cue becomes a prohibited item.

i understand my leatherman, it looks fucking lethal, but a 22 ounce pool cue? give me a break.

compounding the idiocy of the self important half wits of airport security is the woman at the check-in counter telling me the airline is not liable if my cue is damaged, because it`s not baggage. well fuckwit, it was hand luggage until i was told i had to check it in because it posed a security risk.

here is a george carlin piece on airport security, bear in mind this pre-september 11 but i think it still applies.

I`m getting tired of security at the airport, There`s too much of it. I`m tired of some fat chick with a double-digit IQ and a triple-digit income rootin` around inside my bag for no reason and never finding anything. Haven`t found anything yet. Haven`t found one bomb in one bag. And don`t tell me, “Well, the terrorists know their bags are going to be searched, so now they`re leaving their bombs at home.” There are no bombs! The whole thing is fuckin` pointless`

And it`s completely without logic. There`s no logic at all. They`ll take away a gun but let you keep a knife. Well, what the fuck is that? In fact, there`s a whole list of lethal objects they allow you to take on board. Theoretically, you could take a knife, an ice pick, a hatchet, a straight razor, a pair of scissors, a chain saw, six knitting needles and a broken whiskey bottle, and the only thing they would say to you is, “That bag has to fit all the way under the seat in front of you.”

And if you didn`t take a weapon on board, relax. After you`ve been flying for about an hour, they`re gonna bring you a knife and fork! They actually give you a fucking knife. It`s only a table knife, but you could kill a pilot with a table knife. It might take a couple of minutes.

Especially if he`s hefty. But you could get the job done. If you really wanted to kill the prick. Shit, there are a lot of things you could use to kill a guy. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday New York Times, couldn`t you? Suppose you just have really big hands. Couldn`t you strangle a flight attendant? Shit, you could probably strangle two of them, one with each hand. That is, if you were lucky enough to catch `em in that little kitchen area. Just before they break out the fuckin` peanuts. But you could get the job done. If you really cared enough.

So why is it they allow a man with big, powerful hands to get on board an airplane? I`ll tell you why. They know he`s not a security risk, because he`s already answered the three big questions. Question number one: “Did you pack your bags yourself?”

“No, Carrot Top packed my bags. He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night, fixed me a lovely lobster Newburg, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a four-way around-the-world and then packed my bags. Next question.” “Have your bags been in your possession the whole time?”

“No. Usually the night before I travel-just as the moon is rising-I place my suitcases out on the street corner and leave them there, unattended, for several hours. Just for good luck. Next question.”

“Has any unknown person asked you to take anything on board?”

“Well, what exactly is an `unknown person`? Surely everyone is known to someone. In fact, just this morning, Kareem and Youssef Ali ben Gabba seemed to know each other quite well. They kept joking about which one of my suitcases was the heaviest.”

And that`s another thing they don`t like at the airport. Jokes. You can`t joke about a bomb. Well, why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? How about a bomb anecdote? You know, no punch line, just a really cute story. Or suppose you intended the remark not as a joke but as an ironic musing? Are they prepared to make that distinction? I think not! And besides, who`s to say what`s funny?

Airport security is a stupid idea. It`s a waste of money and it`s there for only one reason: to make white people feel safe. That`s all it`s for. To provide a feeling, an illusion, of safety in order to placate the middle class. The authorities know they can`t make airplanes safe; too many people have access. You`ll notice that drug smugglers don`t seem to have a lot of trouble getting their little packages on board, do they? No. And God bless them, too.

And by the way, an airplane flight shouldn`t be completely safe. You need a little danger in your fife. Take a fuckin` chance, will ya? What are you gonna do, play with your prick for another 30 years? Are you gonna read People and eat at Wendy`s till the end of time? Take a fuckin` chance! Besides, even if they made all of the airplanes completely safe, the terrorists would simply start bombing other places that are crowded: pawnshops, crack houses, titty bars and gang bangs. You know, entertainment venues. The odds of your being killed by a terrorist are practically zero. So I say, relax and enjoy the show.

You have to be realistic about terrorism. Ya gotta be a realist: Certain groups of people–Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montana–are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time. That`s the reality. Angry men in combat fatigues talking to God on a two-way radio and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom are eventually going to provide us with a great deal of entertainment.

Especially after your stupid fuckin` economy collapses all around you, and the terrorists come out of the woodwork. And you`ll have anthrax in the water supply and sarin gas in the air conditioners; there`ll be chemical and biological suitcase bombs in every city, and I say, “Relax, enjoy it! Enjoy the show! Take a fuckin` chance. Put a little fun in your life.” To me, terrorism is exciting. I think the very idea that someone might set off a bomb in Macy`s and kill several hundred people is exciting and stimulating, and I see it as a form of entertainment!

But I also know most Americans are soft, frightened, unimaginative people who have no idea there`s such a thing as dangerous fun. And they certainly don`t recognize good entertainment when they see it. I have always been willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment. And I`ve always been willing to put you at great personal risk for the same reason.

As far as I`m concerned, all of this airport security–the cameras, the questions, the screening, the searches–is just one more way of reducing your liberty and reminding you that they can fuck with you any time they want, as long as you`re willing to put up with it. Which means, of course, any time they want. Because that`s the way Americans are now. They`re always willing to trade away a little of their freedom for the feeling, the illusion–of security.  

really now. are you going to pluck the pilot`s eyebrows or manicure him to death if he doesn`t comply with your demands?  i firmly believe that the confiscation of tweezers and nail clippers is just a ploy by the fucking steel industry. if someone was determined enough to use a nail clipper, they would find something equally innocuous to use as a weapon.

to add insult to injury i had to wait almost 30 minutes at the luggage carousel. i travel with hand luggage to avoid this fucking shit, here i am standing around the carousel waiting for a my pool sticks to come off, what kind of fucked up shit is that?


came across this story today, which just further validates my point. read about this particular airport security drama here

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well that’s a bitch

December 22, 2003 — Leave a comment

i just got off the phone with fedex and two other international couriers, apparently i can`t send any food or beverage without a manufacturers code. it`s some requirement from the FDA as part of an increased security protocol.

i love vic and my friends, but this is just fucking ridiculous. i have to unpack the box, find the phone numbers for the companies that i bought stuff from, find someone who actually knows what i`m talking about, get the number or whatever, hope it`s right and then repack and risk it getting turned back because whoever answered the phone three days before christmas just wanted to get rid of me and gave me incorrect information.

hmmmmm, does this sound like a little too much trouble or is it just my lack of christmas spirit showing? whatever the cause, everything is going to stay here until vic gets here.

i swear to god

October 28, 2003 — Leave a comment

that aohell and microsloth are conspiring with the spammers.

i got an aohell account three years ago when i started travelling. i needed something that i could use to dialup anywhere, it`s a full account, so i added my mother and my daughters to the account.

i do web support for my clients, i had a tech column for a while, so i know the rules about spam and how it works. my mother and daughter`s email addresses are only know to me, it`s not online, i don`t cc people and the names aren`t easily reproducable.

then why for the fucking love of god are there 30 or 40 messages in each account. i don`t get it. i have a yahoo account that i use for signing up for crap online and that filters out most of the shit.

the other account i use to sign up for stuff online gets less spam. so i have to believe aohell is in cohorts with the spammers. let`s not even talk about msn, i signed up for an account, i didn`t accept any of the news letters, nothing. within two days, there`s spam showing up in the account. i have other hotmail accounts that predate the microsloth acquisition, once in a blue moon, the odd email shows up.

but the new accounts, a constant deluge of fucking junk.

i don`t need my penis any bigger, i don`t need breasts, bigger or otherwise. i`m not losing my hair and i don`t have uncontrolled credit card debt.

i just needed to get that off my chest. there are a lot of things that are irritating me right now, this is just the most accessible. i can focus on it and i can find a logical solution to it. everything else is so out of my hands and so out of control, there`s just no point fighting anymore.

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you`re bound to get up with fleas.

i got fucked again. i don`t know why i expected it to be any different. apparently i misconstrued the conversation i had with the director. he never agreed to keep me on a freelance basis. he said it was on per project basis.

right. i would have remembered that conversation, i`m sure i would have remembered.

and coupled with this, i arrive home to discover because i paid my phone bill late i can only receive calls. and to get full service back i have to pay the next bill. well that`s not happening for a while. so i`ll be liberating connections wherever i can. so my updates are going to be a lot more sporadic.

i`m going to shoot pool and try to relax, at least i have my days to myself again.

nothing is ever easy

October 10, 2003 — Leave a comment


of course this flaming syphilitic festering sore on the asshole of humanity could manage to piss me the fuck off from whatever hole she`s hiding in.

it couldn`t be as easy as coming into work, doing my job, collect my cheque and go home. oh no, not in this fucking place.

this flaming syphilitic festering sore on the asshole of humanity that is my boss hasn`t been in the office all week, she`s been off doing or not doing her new job from all reports. what does this mean to me? well she is one of the only two signatories required for cheques for this magnificent organisation. which means there is no one here to sign my cheque.

and that is pissing right to fuck off. my resignation has been in a month now, why are they now scrambling to prepare my cheque.

i still have my office keys, i`m not surrendering them til i get my cheque.

my head is pounding, i have work to finish up here but i refuse to lift a fucking finger until i know i`m getting paid today.

the mood i`m in right now, i think i have enough rage to more than cover what they owe me in damages.

a special place in hell

September 23, 2003 — Leave a comment

port of spain tries to be a fairly modern city, it`s not as bad as some and a lot better than most.

however the bane of the existence of most drivers in pos is the congestion and the scrounge of humanity, the wrecker men.

in theory, or at least according to the letter of the law, your car should be ticketed for a specific period of time before you`re towed. well that`s how it should work, it doesn`t

this is where i get nasty, even though i no longer drive, these motherfuckers, are indiscriminate and worse than that, they`re vicious and mean. i don`t actually believe in hell, but i think there is a special place in the after life for them.

in port of spain, these guys, it`s usually four, a police officer, to lend some air of legality to the practice, the driver and two guys who sit in the back of the jeep. they cruise around town between 9 and 4 and tow cars at random. and i`m not joking about random, i`ve seen them drag cars out of the middle of a row of cars illegally parked. [now bearing in mind there seem to be a lack of street signs in our fair city, it`s a virtual parking lottery]  not the car at the top of the rank or the bottom the middle. the one where the person paralled parked to save their lives.

now the fee for this towage is $100. when i was mobile, i did managed to get towed, so when i went to reclaim my car, my journalistic mind though it proper to enquire as to the ratio of distribution of this money.

getting past the rudeness of the officer was hard enough [that is a tale for another day] i did learn that less than 50% of the money goes towards the government`s coffers. now i`m still trying to find out which governmental agency`s coffers it does end up in.

i haven`t had a car of my own for a while but i just happened to see a towing in progress yesterday and it pissed me right off, so i thought i`d share.

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why would i need to post something like this twice?

contrary to the rumours, i am not king cock. not even prince or nobleman cock.

for the second time in less that a year six months four months, i have to defend my honour and virtue.

no fucking, no sucking, no kissing, no intimate contact. nothing, nada, zero, zilch.

i didn`t do it. it wasn`t me.

and no i don`t protest too much.

i don`t know what the fuck is going on but i`d appreciate all the fantasies about sexual relations not include me unless you`re married to me.

thank you and good night.

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