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be a light in the darkness

December 25, 2016

whatever you are celebrating this time of year or even if you’re not celebrating, it is worth remembering the intent of the season – light triumphing over the darkness. 

be a light in the darkness, for yourself, for someone else, for your community. as dark as it may seem even a tiny light may help bring others to you or merely help you see you’re not alone in the dark.

happy holidays.

Apropos of something

February 14, 2012 — 1 Comment

once again another valentine’s day rolls around and marriage equality is still a big issue in a lot of places. put aside your flowers, candy, romantic gestures, and dinners, the feast of st. valentine’s is about sacrifice.

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vic is more than a little upset about the shooting at the UU church in knoxville. it was her spiritual home while she lived in knoxville, i believe she knew of the people that died and in the week just after 9/11, it was one of the places she felt safe. now a little bit of that sanctuary has been taken away.
one of the reasons i love vic is her faith in humanity and it’s saddens me to see her hurt like this.

i’m a bit of a cynic and there is very little in the news that surprises me, but still i’m finding it more and more difficult, as i follow this story in various media, to remain calm. in the light of this tragedy there are people that are saying that they brought this on themselves. the implication that someone deserves to be shot because their morality isn’t the same as your sickens me.

a man made the ultimate sacrifice yesterday, he gave his life to save others and it angers me that it’s being belittled by people who clearly have no concept of what christianity is. if you claim to be a christian and can’t find compassion in your heart then you’re missing the point. the most basic tenet of christian, to love one another, seems to be getting left by hate-mongers who insist on placing divisive dogma and their petty conception of god ahead of all else.

“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine soredly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can`t see it, it can`t see you – daft as a brush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”

– from The Hitchhiker`s Guide to the Galaxy

towel day was intended to mark the passing of Douglas Noel Adams in a manner befitting him. it was intended to occur a week after his passing but in the ways of the world ended up being two. so May 25 is Towel Day.

as the two bastions of modern morality; christianity and commercialism prepare to celebrate another holiday weekend, i find myself wondering if people have any idea about the origins of these particular feasts.

i mean what do easter eggs and bunny rabbits have in common with a crucifixion?

well it`s all about assimilation. as christianity grew, the early church; yes virginia there was only one church for a long time; realised that the best way to convert people before outright violence and torture became fashionable was to convert their holidays. so long existing pagan holidays became new christian holidays. so beltane a spring fertility rite [the eggs and the bunnies are symbols of fertility, get it?] got converted to easter.

so before you go slagging off non-believers, always remember from the old testament to mithras to converting pagan holidays christianity is about tolerance and acceptance of your fellow man  and commercialism is about getting them to give your money.

have a great weekend all. whatever you do.

and we can nibble on a wall or two even.

i hadn`t planned on posting again for the day, but this required getting off my chest.

i just had dinner delivered. pizza. hawaiian. the delivery guy asks “are you going to eat that?” i look at him puzzled as to why i would order something, pay good money and not eat it. the bewilderment at his question was obviously showing on my face, he adds, “there`s ham on it”

and it dawns on me, my hair. right.

since i moved here i`ve come to realise that in jamaica, rastafari holds the patent on dreadlocks or something equally insipid. this is not the first time it`s happened.

ok let me back track, if you don`t know according to what sect of rastafari you belong to, you don`t:

eat meat at all

eat swine

eat salt

eat food prepared by a woman menstruating

i`m sure i`ve missed some but it basically changes depending on who your talk to.

on with our story. yes, on with our story.

i went to burger king one day for lunch and order a whopper with bacon and cheese, again the question, “you sure you want that?” i shrugged it off.

but in the last week, i`ve had to answer the same question posed to me by various people i interact with on a daily basis. the conversation goes like this:

“are you rastafarian?”



“are you christian?”

“no. i don`t deal well with organised religion”


“so why you have your hair like that?”

“because straw… [insert odd look here] nevermind, i made a decision to grow my hair, a social experiment, a statement…”

“oh ok”

and the conversation usually degenerates from there.

i have to laugh or i`m going to cry, as i said last week, assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. dreadlocks does not a rastafari make. i`ve never been a vegetarian, i eat pork. lots of it actually, as often as i can.  i`ve been growing my hair for eight years and will probably cut in two years. i haven`t made a decision about that yet. so i can safely say. i predate revlon rasta trend by about at least a good two years. and while i`m on the topic about assumptions people make about me because of my hair which i forgot to mention last time, i`m not a some jacque st. john caribbean stud either, but that`s the subject of a whole other post.

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December 25th was previously the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun in Rome and honored the Etruscan god Sol. In 10 B.C. the god was changed to Apollo and in the 2nd century to the Persian deity Mithras. Mithras lived six centuries before Christ and was the son of the Supreme god of light. His birth was attended by sheperds and he was sent to slay the huge bull of creation. Mithras had a last supper of bread and wine with his followers before he died and it was believed that he would return at the end of time to judge the dead.

from christine o`keeffe`s christmas  history

and Saul of Tarsus and Christ`s Blood

sunday constitutional

December 8, 2003 — Leave a comment

it`s sunday and i haven`t got fuck all to do all day. i`m loathe to say i`m bored, but that would pretty much sum it up. i have no desire to flick mindlessly through the channels. i could walk to the office and while the hours online, but i don`t want to start the precedent of being in the office every weekend.

i have some shirts that need ironing but without iron or ironing board there`s no way that`s getting done. there is really nothing for me to do around here. i had breakfast and i cooked and had lunch, had a post lunch nap and bath.

all this sitting around idly has me thinking about church. i`m not a regular churchgoer, i think i can be pleasantly described as a hatch, match, dispatch churchgoer and even then i`m picky about those that i do attend. for the thoroughly confused; hatch, match, dispatch translate to baptisms, weddings and funerals.

i`m a lapsed catholic which i suppose makes me the worse sort religious cynic. i honestly believe everyone has a right to their beliefs but my issues start when your religion starts to encroach on my freedoms and is used as a basis for intolerance.

i wasn`t always like this. i was baptised catholic, even though my mother was a methodist, what it meant is that every weekend i was in church twice, i would go to mass on a saturday and then off to service with my mother on a sunday, so i was pretty much covered on all bases. i went to a parochial school and by the time i was nine i was an altar boy, i made my first communion with the boys in my class. i went to another parochial school for my high school education and was pretty much a good catholic boy, well with the exception of ducking the mandatory religious knowledge class in my first semester at school and the pornography club i was running by my third year in school [another story for another day]. i was still an altar boy, i did mass at least three times a week. i even had thoughts of becoming a priest. i hadn`t had any run-ins with the child-molesters the church is famous for breeding and i still said the  apostle`s creed and believed it wholeheartedly.

all that changed in my final year of high school. in my caribbean history class i started to question the church`s track record in the new world, you know; the magna carta, forced conversions, genocide, slavery, then as i read more, the inquisition, their stance during world war II, you get the picture and then my parish started hitting on me, culminating with my expulsion from the confirmation class because i spurned his advances.

i started to question, first i just questioned catholicism, but i started noticing the same levels of hypocrisy and double standards were part and parcel of religion. then i started doing research on christianity and that opened a whole new can of worms. i`m going to raise a point here that most people either don`t know or chose to ignore; until the advent commercial printing, the bible was hand-copied by a select few priest and even then distribution was limited. so no matter what version of christianity you practise today, the bible you use is based on a version originally approved by emperor constantine and amended as seen fit by various popes up til the reformation.

another amusing fact [especially in light of various christian organisations, decrying halloween as a satanic/pagan ritual] is that all the major christian high holy days or holidays are actually just conversions of pagan festivals. beltane became easter, the winter solstice became christmas. makes you think doesn`t.

but before i come off as biased, i feel the same about all religions. religion is a construct. go back far enough and you`ll find some power-brokers, politician, king, elder, whatever, telling people how and what to believe. it helps keeps the masses in control and always to the exclusion of someone.

all this doesn`t mean i don`t believe in a force greater than myself, i believe. i just don`t need someone telling me how to believe. and yes i am a hypocrite. my children are baptised and attend church regularly. why you ask? so they get can get the same platform i had, when the time comes, they too will question or maybe they wont, but they would not have been deprived on an opportunity.

believe it or not, this foul mouthed, arrogant, sexually starved, tattooed, pierced person before you was once and innocent, believing, unassuming wee lad.

i was a good catholic, i went to church every week, i was an altar boy, i even at one point considered joining the priesthood. i went to a catholic all boys school as well. my innocence was not lost to some sticky fingered, pedophile in the church. no i lost my innocence and childhood naivety in my caribbean history class, close the time i lost my virginity as well come to think of it.

i had a teacher who encouraged us to ask question. to defy convention and i started to wonder about the magna carta and why the native peoples of the americas were slaughtered in the name of god and why slavery was encouraged. basically why the church allowed so much evil to be done in their names.

at first i asked these questions of myself, but i had no answers, so i turned to my books and other books in the library but they only uncovered more atrocities committed in the name of `god`, so i turned to the priest who ran our school and they just seemed uncomfortable as the toed the line with rote responses. the more questions i asked, the more disturbed i became, i tried to be a good catholic but it wasn`t in me any more, how could i believe in something so corrupt.

i started reading the bible but the incongruities became more glaring to me and the questions i was asking began to reflect on the bible itself. i turned to islam but their track record wasn`t much better.

i realised religion on the whole was an opiate. the basic tenets were established by power brokers and politicians to help keep the masses in line.

i don`t take anything at face value, i don`t believe everything the news tells me to and i still question, on a daily basis. i question organised religion, i question politicians, businessmen, i question the news which is paid for by advertisers. but i work in a business where we sell lives and half truths for a living. it doesn`t necessarily get me the answers but it helps me perceive them better when they do appear.


April 24, 2003 — Leave a comment

oh my fucking god, i just finished reading something that scared the fuck out of me. sometimes fact is scarier than fiction i’m a big stephen king fan, but nothing he’s ever written has ever frightened me like this…

jesus plus nothing

read it and form your own opinion.

i’m a little to stunned to comment right now.