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Archives For August 2004

virgins are like raisins?

August 27, 2004 — Leave a comment

that`s just open to so many possibilities.



this month is good vibrations anal sex month.

as with most other things sexual, i don`t judge consenting adults for any practice you choose to indulge in and i would appreciate the same courtesy. i think any sexual activity is a two way street, meaning if you`re a guy and willing ask your partner to indulge you, you should be just as willing to, at least, have your prostate massaged.

anal sex is not something that should be rushed into. as with any other sexual practice; no matter what you saw in that movie; it should be indulged in with care, both physical and emotional. if you`ve ever been interested or would like some clear, factual information, these 10 rules are probably the best guidelines you can start with.

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the mother of all typos

August 26, 2004 — Leave a comment

“According to author Christoph Luxenberg, due to a possible mistranslation of the Koran (if one were to read certain words as Syriac instead of Arabic), the “virgins” some [Islamic Fundamentalists] believe they will be rewarded with in paradise may be “white raisins” of “crystal clarity” instead.”

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sex for sale, cheap

August 26, 2004 — Leave a comment

Jenna Jameson has published a book, more power to her. there are editorials everywhere either lauding or decrying the mainstreaming of porn. i`m truly shocked that anyone is surprised, we`ve turned sexuality into a commodity and like any over-exposed commodity we`ve decreased the value. the adult industry needs to go mainstream, it`s simply a matter of survival.

we can see as much breasts and butocks in 30 seconds of prime time advertising as Cinemax`s late night programming and it`s only going to get worse, not because the adult industry is going mainstream but because we are becoming more repressed. it`s a vicious circle; we`re becoming more and more desensitised to sex, so advertisers are going to greater extremes to get our attention and in a knee jerk reaction people are going to find more stuff objectionable, which brings us back to doe, doe, doe. it`s a self perpetuating cycle and the solution is so simple. well at least i think so.

stop objectifying sexuality.

it`s natural, people need to accept that. it`s not simply for procreation, it`s not the solely the purview of people in love or people who are married. it is a natural instinct. i`m not saying you should go out and copulate with everyone you meet; well actually that is your choice, but we need to realise that the enjoyment of our sexuality is hardwired into our psyches. i`ve had a lot of sex, some of it in love, some of it fantastic, occasionally bad, some experimental. does this make me less of a person? i think not. i`ve accepted my desires and found someone to share them with.

the key to advertising is desire. advertisers try to sell you things; whether you want or need them by playing on your desires. until people accept that; to quote George Michael; `sex is natural, sex is fun`, sexuality is going to be pivotal as selling point. if we want to see less of it, we need to take it back, teach ourselves and our children that sex is not a bad thing.

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old school paste up

August 25, 2004

sometimes the random titles are not so random. i worked late for the first time today at my job. that has to be a record of some sort, almost two months before i stayed pass the allotted hour.

it wasn`t completely unwarranted, i took some time during the day today to go to an appointment [more on that at a later juncture] and i stay in to make up the hours which was fortuitous cause i needed to finish up as much of the job i`m working on to send it the client to peruse. i can`t say for approval because so much info is still missing, i`m not sure how likely we are to make our deadline but the immortal words of men in the trenches everywhere “mine is not reason why, mine is just to do or die”.

i also had my first fun paste up experience this evening. i loathe paste up, i can do it, because when i started in this business that was the way; but i hate the spray adhesive on my fingers, the trimming, the foolish mistakes i tend to make when i`m doing it, forcing me to do it over but in an office this small, you do your own paste up. i managed to avoid the spray adhesive and staple it together, but i think when all is said and done next week i`m going to have to do it anyway to send a dummy to the printer.

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DHS [x2]

August 20, 2004

two entertaining, albeit frightening tales of the department of homeland security.

round one:DHS vs Montserrat refugees

round two: DHS vs Ted Kennedy

and this is supposed to make me feel safe?

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bringing back the 80s one fashion faux pas at a time

August 19, 2004 — Leave a comment

i was a child of the 80s but thank god there are no pictures to prove it. even without the general fashion faux pas that were the 80s, i was the guy who`s mother dressed him, well she was paying so i really didn`t have much choice. although i`m still not sure how i convinced my mother spring for the powder blue suit and espadrilles for my high school graduation.

after i began making my own money, my first serious girlfriend made it a point to find me a tailor. when you have an ass as high and round as mine it`s extremely difficult to find pants off the rack. my other problem at that age is i was tall, thin, with no shoulders; so i also needed to find shirts. all psychoses aside she helped shape my wardrobe and what she didn`t help with, my first wife finished the job.

over the years, i`ve grown; in more ways than one; my shoulders have filled out, i no longer have `bert` arms and i`m more comfortable in my own skin. i can actually dress myself without embarrassing or causing my companions to have some sort of ocular failure. although vic loathes the bright orange t-shirts that i possess, but i think that`s more via association with UT sports than anything else. the orange shirts are a holdover from 2000 when i decided that the navy, grey, black and khaki that primarily made up wardrobe needed to be changed for a more colourful look.

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telling tales

August 17, 2004 — 1 Comment

it`s hard to believe it`s been four years since i first met vic, we can measure our relationship in terms of the summer games. i watched the last summer games at her parents house with her incredibly funny and amazing parents, the very young and very bright boychick and herself.

so much has changed in that time, vic`s dad is no longer with us. i only meet him briefly but he was one of those people i could sit and listen to for hours. in my interactions with vic`s family, i`ve realised one of the reasons i like them so much is the conversation.

in one of the major dichotomies of my personality, the techno-geek in me loves the oral tradition. i love sitting around and listening to stories. i like to think of myself as a collector of tales, it`s one of the reasons i have so many short story anthologies in the library. but as fun as those are, sitting and listening to someone tell a story has a special magic.

vic`s dad was one of those special magicians who could draw you into his own story, most of those weeks from four years ago are pretty much a blur, but i still remember the stories and i have them to pass along to the boychick as well as well as a few of my own.

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an abusive relationship ends

August 13, 2004 — Leave a comment

we have official left aohell, after three months of trying.

this account has had an interesting history, i activated it four years ago when i was coming to meet vic for the first time. i was doing website management and needed an account i could dial up from anywhere with and so began a four year relationship than only soured when i tried to leave.

well that`s not quite true, when i came back to Trinidad in 2001, i wasn`t able to check mail with great regularity and discovered on of the many things that pissed me off about aol. if you don`t check mail via the aol client and save said mail, they dump it from their servers, but i stuck through because the account was useful to have, i got email accounts for my mother and daughters and vic.

in the last year i realised i wasn`t using aol to dial up and the real email we were receiving there minimal, so we switched to the minimum package and after i moved here this year we realised that particular $5 a month could be better spent on coffee or food porn rather than displacing electrons with spam.

now begins the saga, i called one fine day in May to say we wanted out; and this is where it begins to resemble an abusive relationship; i told them i had broadband and i wasn`t particularly happy with the service and i wanted to leave. the person on the other end of the phone, begged and pleaded and cajoled me into giving them another chance, for the next three months on their dime and to avoid the pathetic whining on the phone, i caved. about a month later we receive a letter asking us to confirm that we want out, on our dime no less. we fill out the letter and send it back, thinking it`s over and done with.

as if. about a week before our `free` three months for staying on up, we get another letter asking us if we`re sure we want to cancel. duh. on Wednesday night we get a call asking us if we want to return and i finally discovered the key to being rid of aol forever.

tell them you have mac, i told the guy all the software they keep sending is for a PC running windows and i have a mac, and the conversation went like this

“we don`t support that platform.”

“so i have no reason to come back then?”

“no, i guess not, goodbye.”

free at last. although as of this morning i could still use the newly implemented POP3 access to check my mail.

edit

as of today, monday, my account is disconnected including my access to the IM service, but luckily i had all my aim contacts saved in my mac.com account which supports the aim protocol.

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snicker

August 13, 2004 — Leave a comment

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if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

August 12, 2004 — Leave a comment

i think that was the motto of my high school education. in Trinidad we follow the English school system, that is seven years of primary or elementary education, then an entrance exam to get attempt to get into the high school of your choice. there is automatic placement into government run high schools depending on your scores but the parochial schools are believed to have a better quality of education.

apparently i was a brilliant primary school student, everyone expected the world of me, so they pushed me. they streamed me through my last two years of school to get in line for taking the exam; back then it was called Common Entrance, now it`s call the Secondary Evaluation Assessment or some such tripe. i sat the exam a year earlier than i was supposed to and aced it; scored in the top 97% of students in the country and was on my way to St. Mary`s College, one of the top schools in the country. St. Mary`s College or CIC as it was called, is a catholic boys high school.

i think i started resting on my laurel at the orientation session. it`s not to tell a roomful of 11 – 13 year old boys that they are the best and the brightest in the country, whatever semblance of humility there was in those little ego maniacs goes right out the window. or maybe that was just me.

i spent the mandatory five years on cruise control, getting by on natural intelligence. my ego got the better of me at the end of my third year; when you chose the subjects that you want to do for the rest of your school career; i dropped computer science, because i didn`t think they could teach me anything i didn`t already know, i was an idiot.

at the end of the five year stint, there is an series of exams, like the ordinary wizarding level exams in Harry Potter. my subjects of choice were French, Spanish, Caribbean History, Geography, English Literature and the mandatory English Language and Math. i just managed to scrape passing grades for everything except Spanish which i failed spectacularly and the English subjects which i passed as spectacularly as i had failed Spanish.

there was a point to this post somewhere but it`s seemed to have escaped me, i may come back and clean it up later.

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