Archives For December 2003

Top Ten

December 31, 2003 — Leave a comment

i`ve decided i`m going to stay in tonight. i don`t feel like interacting with people and i don`t want to go out and be sullen and antisocial, i can do that in the comfort of my own apartment. the only person i want to see tonight is vic and that`s not happening.

but that`s not what this post is about, i`ve only been posting her nine months and i`ve gone from bitching about my shitty job and my long wait at the hands of bureaucracy, pointless post about nothing and quizzes and surveys to taking my writings here a lot more seriously in the last couple months.

since april 8 i`ve accumulated close to 700 posts and over 15,000 visitors, i want to thank you for putting up with me and i humbly offer my top ten post. i hope you enjoy them as much as i`ve enjoyed writing them and i hope to have you back next year.

10.please, thank, sorry, good day

wherein i opined on the lack of manners in society

9.and we have a tie, probably because these are related:

hipster pants are not for you and

my unsexy list

7.another tie, wherein the erstwhile blogger found out that writing here has repercussions

i did not have sexual relations with that woman

retractions and corrections

5.eos, rosy fingered goddess of the dawn

no particular reason other than i loved the opening paragraph

4.fucking like minx

in the midst of vic`s visit to trinidad, i still had people checking, so we decided i should post.

3.i used to cruise target

one of the first set of post when i started thinking about what i was writing, sums up some of the loneliness i`m experiencing now.

2.popularity, pissing contests and cries for attention

my contribution to the best of journalspace community.

1. my beautiful wordsmith

an ode to my wife, my joy, my happiness, my light.

i hope you`re happy with my choices, but feel free to roam around and let me know if i missed anything.

post script.

since starting this post, i`ve spoken to vic and she`s encouraged me to get out of the house. i`m off to see ROTK again and possibly attend a house party thrown by one of my co-workers.

thank you and good night. happy new year. peace, safety and blessings to you all.

year end wrap up

December 31, 2003 — Leave a comment

i decided earlier that my contribution to the year end wrap up was to post my ten favourite sites of the year and a couple other top ten lists i found while i waste the day online

The P.U.-Litzer Prizes for 2003

Honouring the stinkiest media performances for the year.

The 2003 Media Follies!

An annual survey of the year`s most overhyped and underreported stories.

JNet`s Top Picks of 2003

A random selection of some of the best, most topical or just plain fun sites for journalists.


the mother of all year end lists. all of them in one places, every single best of, year in review list for 2003 is right here

here`s the top ten websites that i`ve been frequenting throughout the year, in no specific order:

Pussy Ranch

Blog of a Minneapolis-area writer, stripper, and peep show performer and her recent fiancé Jonny.

Dirty Whore Diary

[does this really require an explanation?]

Scarlet Letters

One of the longest-running women-owned, women-run sex-positive webzines on the Net.

Sexy Losers

a series of adult comics

The Joy of Tech


The first great comic strip of the third millennium.


starting point of many a day`s surfing and source of many of the links i provide [thank you, vic.]

Daze Reader

World Sex News Daily

sex news blogs

Group Hug

an anonymous confessional site

if i feel up to it, i`ll post my ten favourite posts for the year later.

talk about withdrawl

December 31, 2003 — Leave a comment

i got up this morning, with a multitude of thoughts to post on the last day of the year and nothing. js was down so i couldn`t get my fix.

i guess it`s all for the best. another year is wrapping up. another 358 days without vic [well it would have been 365 but for the week she spent in trinidad, do the fucking math].

things that really upset me tend to be blotted from my mind and since i can remember what i did last year for old years then it must have been really upsetting.

i`m trying to be positive and more focussed, more sociable [i have an invite to go out to see ROTK tonight and i think i may just pass, i don`t want to be around people i don`t know, much less make friends and try to like].

i don`t make resolutions, so there are no big speeches and plans for the new year, oh with exception of attempting atkins starting jan 2. why not january 1 you ask? i have a ticket for what is supposed to be one of the best all inclusive parties of the year and since i don`t have to go to work on friday, i can get stinkingly drunk and hope it lasts the whole weekend.

my other plan for the new year is to cut off all these fuckers that i called friends that didn`t the plain old good manners to reply to my christmas greeting, i think i put up with enough shit from my so called friends in 2003, new year, new perspective: if you can`t remember my number or email address when things are going well, i really don`t give a fuck what your problems are.

my free will astrology came today and this is what is said:

One of your most wonderful qualities is your aptitude for helping people. It`s also the part of your nature that is most likely to be abused by charming narcissists and charismatic manipulators. But in 2004, you will have a knack for freeing yourself from these oppressors. You`ll be able to spot potential new ones from a mile away, and you`ll know how to break the hold that the old ones have on you. Take this pledge now: \”I will serve only the smart, effective people who also serve me.\”

and that is my philosophy for the new year.

nothing to excess

December 30, 2003 — Leave a comment

Are you against “Public Displays of Affection”? Does it bother you to see kissing in public or someone damn near grinding?

If you said NO, would it bother you if the couple were of the same sex?

i`m not against public displays of affection, i`d be a hypocrite if i said i was. when i see vic, i can barely keep my hands off her, but there is a point where the need to find somewhere private becomes an essential. kissing, hand holding, light caresses; all good, humping each other on a dance floor is just plain tacky.

but if being an exhibitionist turns you own, who am i to judge.

as for it being worse if it`s a same sex couple, try changing same sex to inter racial, elderly, jewish, black.

you get my point. excessive behaviour applies to whoever is doing it, it doesn`t make more or less acceptable based on the qualifier and to judge based on that is just wrong.

money, money, money

December 30, 2003 — Leave a comment

sometime last week monet posed the question what would you do for a million dollars and i answered fairly honestly.

however i did come across a couple of things that i could find to do with my money if i were independently wealthy.

first of all no man is an island, but with enough money you can buy one. yes you too can own a island of your very own

and if you need to defend your island why not get an aircraft carrier or in my case, what better place for a data haven?

i was going to make a point about money and the great divide between them that have and them that have not. but i don`t have the energy right now, my less than 8 hours sleep is catching up with me as well as the arousal cycle is starting to ramp up again, thus draining the need blood from my brain into other areas of my body.

i’m an addict

December 30, 2003 — Leave a comment

yesterday c&w came to my humble abode and installed dsl.

it`s been like reaching the promised land.

i have an internet connection at home, my television remained off most of the night, i cooked while chatting with friends, i managed to stay up until almost 1am.

and the thought that comes to mind with great power, comes great responsibility. the first step to beating addiction is to admitting it, i`m an internet junkie and now i have absolutely no reason to leave my apartment on a weekend and it sort of scares me. i already found myself wondering if i can telecommute just so i can stay home, that`s so wrong.

even after going to bed close to, here i am up just before 7, back at the computer. but sadly with all of this bandwidth at my disposal, i managed not to catch up with vic last night.

hello my name is keifel and i`m addicted to the internet.

survey says…

December 29, 2003 — Leave a comment

The capacity to handle criticism and grow from it is a very important aspect of becoming successful.

Criticism comes in two flavors: constructive and destructive. Both should be handled carefully, albeit in a different manner.

Most people attach a negative connotation to the word criticism because it brings to mind something destructive. We all remember being taunted or criticized as children for no apparent reason, and those memories often linger into adulthood.

Destructive criticism aims to hurt an individual`s self-esteem, by causing psychological damage to people and rendering them less effective in what they do and who they are, as a result

How have you used critism to help you? Do you get easily offended if you feel you`ve done a good job, but yet someone still criticizes you? How do you go about GIVING criticism if you can`t accept it?

i can take criticism, i`m in an industry where you learn to take it early on, or you get out of the business. a lot of it isn`t very constructive, it`s just people throwing their weight around and there`s a lot of ego particularly in creative environments.

but as i`ve said before i`m not one for popularity contests and alpha male behaviour, so i can take constructive criticism and because of my attitude, i can make suggestions without coming off like an asshole.

at least i can do it now. i used to be a really fuckwit in my youth. i`ve learned to be a lot more sensitive in my critiques as i`m gotten older.

and we’re back

December 29, 2003 — Leave a comment

i`m a little torn, i`m missing the girls already and i miss my friends, but i`m glad to be back in my own space. tiny as it is, my apartment is mine, the disarray, the clutter and i missed it.

it`s an odd combination of emotions, i loved having the girls clambering all over me and conversations and playing, i enjoyed talking to my mother, but i anxiously wanted to get back to my space. i`m still trying to work it out in my own mind.

i spent three days with people that love me unconditionally and still come sunday morning, i was ready to come back to come back to what i considered home.

is something wrong with me?

trifling, pedantic shit

December 28, 2003 — Leave a comment

three days of good karma, peace on earth, goodwill to all, fucked over royally with less than 2 hours remaining in trinidad.

when i left trinidad in november i had four pieces of hand luggage, one of them was my pool cue in its case, when i left jamaica on christmas eve, again one of my pieces of hand luggage was my pool cue in its case.

how is it possible that this morning a pool cue becomes a prohibited item.

i understand my leatherman, it looks fucking lethal, but a 22 ounce pool cue? give me a break.

compounding the idiocy of the self important half wits of airport security is the woman at the check-in counter telling me the airline is not liable if my cue is damaged, because it`s not baggage. well fuckwit, it was hand luggage until i was told i had to check it in because it posed a security risk.

here is a george carlin piece on airport security, bear in mind this pre-september 11 but i think it still applies.

I`m getting tired of security at the airport, There`s too much of it. I`m tired of some fat chick with a double-digit IQ and a triple-digit income rootin` around inside my bag for no reason and never finding anything. Haven`t found anything yet. Haven`t found one bomb in one bag. And don`t tell me, “Well, the terrorists know their bags are going to be searched, so now they`re leaving their bombs at home.” There are no bombs! The whole thing is fuckin` pointless`

And it`s completely without logic. There`s no logic at all. They`ll take away a gun but let you keep a knife. Well, what the fuck is that? In fact, there`s a whole list of lethal objects they allow you to take on board. Theoretically, you could take a knife, an ice pick, a hatchet, a straight razor, a pair of scissors, a chain saw, six knitting needles and a broken whiskey bottle, and the only thing they would say to you is, “That bag has to fit all the way under the seat in front of you.”

And if you didn`t take a weapon on board, relax. After you`ve been flying for about an hour, they`re gonna bring you a knife and fork! They actually give you a fucking knife. It`s only a table knife, but you could kill a pilot with a table knife. It might take a couple of minutes.

Especially if he`s hefty. But you could get the job done. If you really wanted to kill the prick. Shit, there are a lot of things you could use to kill a guy. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday New York Times, couldn`t you? Suppose you just have really big hands. Couldn`t you strangle a flight attendant? Shit, you could probably strangle two of them, one with each hand. That is, if you were lucky enough to catch `em in that little kitchen area. Just before they break out the fuckin` peanuts. But you could get the job done. If you really cared enough.

So why is it they allow a man with big, powerful hands to get on board an airplane? I`ll tell you why. They know he`s not a security risk, because he`s already answered the three big questions. Question number one: “Did you pack your bags yourself?”

“No, Carrot Top packed my bags. He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night, fixed me a lovely lobster Newburg, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a four-way around-the-world and then packed my bags. Next question.” “Have your bags been in your possession the whole time?”

“No. Usually the night before I travel-just as the moon is rising-I place my suitcases out on the street corner and leave them there, unattended, for several hours. Just for good luck. Next question.”

“Has any unknown person asked you to take anything on board?”

“Well, what exactly is an `unknown person`? Surely everyone is known to someone. In fact, just this morning, Kareem and Youssef Ali ben Gabba seemed to know each other quite well. They kept joking about which one of my suitcases was the heaviest.”

And that`s another thing they don`t like at the airport. Jokes. You can`t joke about a bomb. Well, why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? How about a bomb anecdote? You know, no punch line, just a really cute story. Or suppose you intended the remark not as a joke but as an ironic musing? Are they prepared to make that distinction? I think not! And besides, who`s to say what`s funny?

Airport security is a stupid idea. It`s a waste of money and it`s there for only one reason: to make white people feel safe. That`s all it`s for. To provide a feeling, an illusion, of safety in order to placate the middle class. The authorities know they can`t make airplanes safe; too many people have access. You`ll notice that drug smugglers don`t seem to have a lot of trouble getting their little packages on board, do they? No. And God bless them, too.

And by the way, an airplane flight shouldn`t be completely safe. You need a little danger in your fife. Take a fuckin` chance, will ya? What are you gonna do, play with your prick for another 30 years? Are you gonna read People and eat at Wendy`s till the end of time? Take a fuckin` chance! Besides, even if they made all of the airplanes completely safe, the terrorists would simply start bombing other places that are crowded: pawnshops, crack houses, titty bars and gang bangs. You know, entertainment venues. The odds of your being killed by a terrorist are practically zero. So I say, relax and enjoy the show.

You have to be realistic about terrorism. Ya gotta be a realist: Certain groups of people–Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montana–are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time. That`s the reality. Angry men in combat fatigues talking to God on a two-way radio and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom are eventually going to provide us with a great deal of entertainment.

Especially after your stupid fuckin` economy collapses all around you, and the terrorists come out of the woodwork. And you`ll have anthrax in the water supply and sarin gas in the air conditioners; there`ll be chemical and biological suitcase bombs in every city, and I say, “Relax, enjoy it! Enjoy the show! Take a fuckin` chance. Put a little fun in your life.” To me, terrorism is exciting. I think the very idea that someone might set off a bomb in Macy`s and kill several hundred people is exciting and stimulating, and I see it as a form of entertainment!

But I also know most Americans are soft, frightened, unimaginative people who have no idea there`s such a thing as dangerous fun. And they certainly don`t recognize good entertainment when they see it. I have always been willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment. And I`ve always been willing to put you at great personal risk for the same reason.

As far as I`m concerned, all of this airport security–the cameras, the questions, the screening, the searches–is just one more way of reducing your liberty and reminding you that they can fuck with you any time they want, as long as you`re willing to put up with it. Which means, of course, any time they want. Because that`s the way Americans are now. They`re always willing to trade away a little of their freedom for the feeling, the illusion–of security.  

really now. are you going to pluck the pilot`s eyebrows or manicure him to death if he doesn`t comply with your demands?  i firmly believe that the confiscation of tweezers and nail clippers is just a ploy by the fucking steel industry. if someone was determined enough to use a nail clipper, they would find something equally innocuous to use as a weapon.

to add insult to injury i had to wait almost 30 minutes at the luggage carousel. i travel with hand luggage to avoid this fucking shit, here i am standing around the carousel waiting for a my pool sticks to come off, what kind of fucked up shit is that?


came across this story today, which just further validates my point. read about this particular airport security drama here

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i spent most of this afternoon hanging out with the younger of my two girls. she abandoned all other engagements on her busy social schedule to spend the evening with me.

the smile on my face could like continents. i love my girls equally and watching them develop into young women fills me with great pride, but the younger has a greater force of will, sense of self and a clearly defined sense of right and wrong, which she has no compunction about voicing.

today was one of those times.

we got into a taxi this afternoon and we both said good day to the driver and fellow passengers, to a stunning silence, i brushed it off and relaxed for our ride home, not my girl, in a somewhat strident tone of voice she exclaimed “i said `good afternoon`, `don`t you have any manners?` and proceeded to chastise the two gentlemen in the car.

it was amazing to see grown men apologising to a 10 year old girl, it made me proud. i believe part of our societal problems are basically a lack of good manners and if my 10 year can feel strongly enough about it and assert herself, who are we?

we need to lead by example but sometimes we need to follow the lead of a child.

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