i hope. i had a bout of sleeplessness last night which is rare for me (i’m a head to pillow, awake the next morning kind of guy), tossed and turned for a while before i feel asleep and then proceeded to get up far too early this morning. it’s kind of overcast this morning and i missed the weather forecast, so i’m not sure what to expect on my day out. should be fun anyway.
i should go get ready, i have a couple ‘i’s’ to dot and ‘t’s’ to cross before i leave this morning. aaaah the power. right, just making sure the shit that i have to do gets done or can keep til tomorrow.
vic, i love you, i will be careful. i’m missing you terribly. not talking to you during the day is throwing me off, but i’m holding onto the end results.
i’ll be back sometime this even with details of my adventures. have a good one.
just a quick observation before i go to bed (i know, i know, i should be asleep already – i was contemplating selling my machine and getting a new one, but as of this writing it’s fallen through [hopefully the machine wouldn’t have realised i even contemplated selling and start behaving temperamentally])
when one has no cable, one resorts to whatever is available for one’s tube fix, interestingly i discovered a very cool little show on tv6 (one of two local channels – we get whatever programmes they pick up the rights for off the major and not so major networks) – john doe. it apparently aired on fox, and it’s about a guy who wakes up with amnesia (at least to the extent that he doesn’t know who he is but seems to know everything else). tonight was the season finale episode, so i went online (as one is wont to do with things that peak your interest) only to discover that john doe hadn’t been renewed for another season, leaving us (faithful views) with a cliffhanger and no hope satisfaction.
which brings me to my point, over the years tv6s has brought quite a number of series to local television audiences only to have them cancelled (ok some of them have come to the end of their run, but only after tv6 started showing them)…
dark angel, xfiles, buffy, witchblade, john doe, if i watched more tv i would know these things, but who really cares anyway
is this bad choice or bad tv6 karma? just a thought before you go to bed.
good night.
now the links:
senator jerry springer? (another sign of the end times or could be no less than america deserves?)
a useful tool in these times (even if the idiots don’t know they’re being insulted) – a random insult generator
i was going to post a pair of links from congressman henry waxman and senator byrd but i decided fuck it, no amount of talking is going to change the fact that gulf war – the sequel® was about oil and based on misrepresentation and outright fucking lies. if you want to follow this up yourself.
the best song of the past 25 years , i would really like to see the judging criterion for that one…
and now a rash of sex and related links…
where to start? where to start?
a few words on sex
and the reply in three parts: one, two and three (see what a nice guy i am, now you don’t have to go looking for the other two as well.)
and i’m spent. i’ll post in the morning before i head off to the wilds of trinidad.
thank you and good night.
the rainy season is finally here (we in the tropics only have two seasons, the wet (rainy) season and the dry (actually not so rainy season), the nights are already cooler. so tomorrow i’m off to site visits and location reconnaissance. which should be interesting to say the least, i’m going to two quarries meaning if it’s sunny out, it’s going to be dry and dusty and if it rains there’s gonna be a whole lot mud. either way it’s going to be hot. i’ve been lax about posting links over the last two days and i’m not going to be around all day tomorrow, so brace yourselves this one is a long ass post.
first off a quiz i lifted off laura’s blog:
10 Bands/Artists You Really Like (no particular order)
Tool
Fatboy Slim
Sergio Mendes
Miles Davis
Prince
System of a Down
Metallica
Guns N Roses
Bjork
jimi hendrix
09 Things You’re Looking Forward To
july 18
falling asleep with victoria
waking up next to victoria
hugging victoria
hot, loud, sweaty sex with victoria
showering with victoria
eating a meal with victoria
slow passionate love making with…(oh come on)
kissing victoria for hours
08 Things You Wear Daily
Jeans
slippers
chain
wedding ring
earrings (x3)
shorts
07 Things That Annoy You
stupidity
ignorance
people wasting my time
prejudice
the attitude of police officers/security officials
the lack of service
lack of common courtesy
06 Things That You Touch Everyday
my computer
my desk
my wedding ring
my mother
my daughter
my pda
05 Things That You Do Everyday
read email
blog
read
give thanks
listen to music
04 People That You Want to Spend More Time With
victoria
my children
03 Movies You Can Watch Over and Over
secretary
amelie
ocean’s 11
02 Of Your Favorite Songs at the Moment
eulogy – tool
the call of the ktulu – metallica
01 Person You Could Spend Your Life With
victoria
whew. not sure how long this post is, so i’m going to do another post with just links
i think i may need come up with a shape to describe all the ways this day is fucked. i came in with a plan of action, time management at it’s best by 10:30 it had been fucked beyond all recognition with a sandpaper condom and a barbwire cockring without so much as an offer to buy dinner.
i’m at still at the office as i write this. i’m scrambling to get layouts done for first thing in the morning, having made sure i have all the models for a shoot tomorrow. i’m also trying to finish the artwork for a billboard for tomorrow as well. what’s the rush? i’m going to be out the office all day tomorrow on site visits and location scouting in preparation for 5 days of shooting next week. nevermind that next thursday and friday are public holidays here. darren is pulling his weight like a champion, we’re trying to work out a shooting schedule for next week, but with the deadlines being thrown at us left right and centre, there is only so much we can do.
the best bit, is i love this shit. this is what i fucking live for. i’ve been operating on cruise control for the last two months, finally something i can jump right into. i’m bitching and moaning but really and truly, this is when i’m at my best – under pressure.
as much as i love this shit i want to be out of here in an hour, can’t do that while i’m sitting here typing. i’ll post later, enjoy.
good morning love. i miss you more already. this inability to talk during the day feels strange, but it’s for a greater good.
it rain all night and it continues, the sun didn’t come up this morning as much as the grey skies just brightened marginally, i can hear the cars swishing by outside on the wet asphalt and i can only wish you were here. the entire house overslept, on a morning like this everyone is loathe to get out of bed. i hope this brightens your morning. i’ll try to keep posting as the day progresses. i’m trying to keep the meetings to a minimum and the designing high on my time management today.
i love you completely, fiercely, wantonly, have a beautiful day my love
here we are couple hours later, 2Gb of new music sorted and categorised.
i no longer want break something or someone. i didn’t call, because that would have just degenerated into something nasty and unprofessional. and thus far i have been able to keep it professional.
i think i just need two major projects to get me out of this hole and have enough squirrel away for vic’s visit.
it’s started raining here and all i can think about is crawling into bed with vic by my side.
i really hope it rains (pours actually) while she’s here.
i had a bunch of links that i was going to post but vic just told me about what she wore to work today and the thought of her in a skirt just pushes all coherent thought out of my mind. completely.
have a good one
(edited twice after some good natured ribbing)
going to bed and let the rain on my roof lull me to sleep.
it’s midevening i’m sitting around the house by myself in darkness, well not complete darkness, the light from the monitors is enough, i can touch type… i’m looking for some kind of outlet to lash out.
the main phone line has been disconnected (well i can receive calls, but i can’t make any) because i didn’t pay the bill, well that’s obvious, what did i expect. well i expected, that i did a job and would have been fucking paid. this is the fucking annual report project. what is pissing me off even more, is the attitude of the fucking woman. “well i haven’t been paid, i don’t have any money.”
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT MY PROBLEM?
i spent 4 days and as many nights, quite a few of them on very little sleep to finish the job, she didn’t check the job on the press and it printed like shit and now i have to be suffering? and the only reason i haven’t tore into her ass as i rightly deserve to, is because she’s a friend of mine’s wife.
I HATE FUCKING KETCHING MY ASS.
i am talented, skilled, i should not have to be scrambling to make ends meet in this fucking godforsaken excuse of a country. all kinds of idiots and morons with not a lick of talent are out there making money hand over fist. can i? NO! i’m difficult to work with! why? because i don’t put up with shit.
i think i’m really angry at myself, because i broke the fucking rule. half upfront. don’t deliver finished artwork with out a cheque in hand. so here i am 2 weeks later, still not paid. and what pisses me off even more this is the norm here. unprofessional fucks.
my eye is twiching, that’s never a good sign. i haven’t been this angry in a long, long time, i’m grateful that i’m home on my own. actually you know what, i’m going to call and demand my money now, let’s see how that goes…
i’ll be back later.
today has been one of those days, all manner of hysterical running around, putting out small fires, starting a few under peoples ass. what’s truly funny is that through all of this i haven’t actually done any design work. i have a logo and some ads to design for an upcoming campaign and i am uninspired. nothing is going to happen in the next 40 minutes. i’m sure.
less than a day into it, i’m questioning if i want this job. it’s a matter of time management, actually it’s a matter of management, the question is how good a manager am i? do i want to be a manager?
my mood seems to be slipping and the edge of the pit seems closer than usual, i hate this place (no, not the country or my job, that’s settled in to gentle loathing) this place, this uncertainty, the loneliness, the depression. this is not me, i am control of my life…
fuck, i’m heading to the melodrama. i’m going home, hopefully, i’ll find my focus by the time i get home.
one of the things my boss asked of me, with my new responsibilities is to change my mode of dress. no more slippers, no more paint smattered sneakers, shirts, thankfully no ties, i’d have to draw the line somewhere.
i can compromise on the slippers thing, it’s the rainy season, so i would have had to give them up anyway. but my most comfortable pair of sneakers is a pair i bought for j’ouvert (they were once white, but now two j’ouverts later… well lets just say both j’ouvert there was paint involved – red, black, i think i see some brown) but i like those sneakers, i think they add character. but this is trinidad, the concept of a 6′ 2″ tattoo, pierced, dreadlock’d creative director is still a little heavy to spring on most middle managers, so the concept is if we can tame it down in the wardrobe department, they might be a little more receptive. i doubt.
the problem with shirts is that they require ironing, i hate to iron. but on the other hand i did take that into account when i went shopping for shirts, so most of my shirts i can get by with a brisk shaking out and on it goes.
i’m not generally a slob, i just prefer to dress in clothes i’m comfortable (if i could go everywhere in shorts and barefeet, it would be perfect). i’m not one of those people who believes that you don’t have to look the part, i’m firmly of the belief that your skills should count, what you look like should not.
which begs the question, what the hell am i doing in advertising… ? i guess it was the only industry that pretty much paid me to look how ever i wanted. as long as you’re an “artist” (yeah, you can always hear the quotes when the say it) you can get away with it.
anyway enough rambling for the morning, i should at least try to get work early on my first official morning as CD. let’s see how long this last.
peace
