last night i went to read and fell asleep just after 7pm, i just got up. what’s bothering me, is that even with close to 12 hours sleep i’m still tired. i was thinking a trip to the dr might be useful, but i doubt this lethargy is physical. it’s hard to focussed or drum up energy when your centre is missing.
i miss victoria. it’s really like a piece of my soul is missing and today i have to deal with more bureacracy. so the wait continues.
one of my favourite web boards tribelife is back
it’s a caribbean centred message board, lively dicsussion and interesting topics, feel free to check it out, join, post if you feel like.
i’m trying to pysche myself up to go to work. i would really love to just crawl back in to bed.
top 5 reasons i should go to work:
5. i have stuff to do.
4. people are relying on me
3. it’s something to do
2. i need the money
1. i really need the money.
in other job related developments i called the guy that said i was selling myself cheap, he said he’d get back to me at the end of the month (yesterday), guess what… he’s out for the week. is that a sign of what.
ok, i can do this, walk away from the computer, have a shower, get dressed, go to work.
peace.
it’s been a long day and i should have realised from my mood yesterday what’s going on with me. the hormones are ramping up, my skin is all tingly, hormones are in overdrive…
well you get the general idea.
i don’t think the temperature is helping much. it’s avergaging mid 30C (not quite sure what the F equivalent is) daily and the night time lows are still in the high 20s and 30s.
i left work today to get a print made and didn’t go back. i just didn’t feel like being cooped up anymore and i wasn?t really working, my mind had been wandering all day, i wasn’t particularly nasty to anyone, i just didn’t feel like working.
it’s tax season here and as a self employed person (well formerly self employed), i have to gather all my bills, the due date for filing was today, but i only got the form on monday and i’ve never filed as a self employed and i need to find out what is allowable. more fun.
i know a lot of the furor of this has died down but as a bisexual in a monogamous hetro relationship, the concepts of Rick Santorum comments are very distressing to me and lot of the things that worry me are outlined here
the question of sexual privacy is a big deal for me. i live in a country where oral and anal sex are still illegal. no one is coming to your house to check…
yet.
i try not to be a chauvanist bastard. and looking at me on a day to day basis i may not seem like much of a fashion maven but guess what i am. scuffy at work, but debonair and dashing when i need to. 🙂
anyway the point of this is, it’s always a pleasure to see well attired people but why spoil it with VPL. i think my problem with it now, is the multiplicity of choices… thongs, boxers, bikinis, tangas, hip huggers, string panties, nothing even. but VPL needs to be banished.
my friend karen has even started the BTPM – burn the panty movement. so i’m not alone here.
so i’ve calmed down considerable, but i still need to figure out a way to vent. i’m still a little to edgy.
it’s time to get a new tattoo, i’m working on a design that extends from my left breast, round my neck to my right shoulder blade. this is going to be last piece for a while but i still have the waves at the base of the spine to finish and i have a general idea what i want but the design isn’t quite coming together yet.
well it’s tuesday night and the wb becons.
that too, sometimes i think the subject entry here are closer to our thoughts than we can imagine.
“It’s just one of those days
Where ya don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, everybody sucks.
You don’t really know why
But you wanna justify rippin’ someone’s head off”
I know my life is going to hell when i can identify with limp bizkit.
i’m in a truly vile mood, i’ve been snapping at people in the office and this is a new development for them, they’ve only seen the shiny, happy, sugarcoated me.
not even the sugar rush is helping. what i’d really like to do is go home and curl up in a ball, actually that’s a lie, what i would really like to do is smash the hell out of something, break into tiny litte bits.
i’m posting to regain some measure of calm and not go postal in the office
there was actually supposed to be a list yesterday but i got distracted with all of apple’s cool shit.
so i’ve installed itunes 4, reorganised my music library, checked out the store and lusted after the ipods. i’ve also been playing around with ijournal, it’s nice, i’m trying to figure out why i keep getting the error any suggestions welcome.
tomorrow is the big presentation, so i get to spend all of today spraying and mounting, joy, joy… who doesn’t love sticky hands. i still hate my job but i feel much more validated, i’m doing good work and if they can’t appreciate it, fuck it.
as you can probably tell, i’m pysching myself up for the disappointment, the end of the month is in two days and i haven’t heard from the other company, so i’m assuming the worst.
i owe, i owe, so it’s off to work i go, i owe, i owe, i owe.
1. poor service
trinidad is not know for it’s service industry, so why it continues to aggrevate me, is still a mystery to me. usually i can ignore the behaviour but today was just completely wrong. i sat in a fast food chain while an employee hung up on a customer, i was amazed and what was even more amazing was the manager’s reaction… he didn’t care, he seems more bothered that they were calling him to the phone. i don’t even know why i was amazed, this is trinidad
which brings me to…
2. lack of exemplars
so i’m in a taxi on my way into port of spain, and this car changes lanes without indicating, this is a common thing here, but what pissed me off about it was a fucking licensing officer (for those of you who don’t know the licensing office is the body responsible for issuing driver’s permits and general road saftey) so you see the irony in that particular maneuver.
rant over.
it’s hard to really rant when there is so much cool shit going on…
itunes 4, the new ipods and the itunes music service, i am in my glee. it’s great time to be a geek
so i live with my dear sainted mother (her opinion, not mine), don’t get me wrong, i love her but oh lord i don’t like some of her ways. anyway my mother’s skill base does not include domestic goddess. accountant extraordinaire, wonderful organiser but not a domestic goddess.
what does this have to do with ordering you ask?
well my mother’s kitchen…
how do i put this… it’s a disaster area, it requires divine intervention…
i can and like to cook but the kitchen scares me, so i live on take in, but it gets really troubling when my number comes up in the computer and they know what i want to order and i have conversations with the delivery drivers.
that seems like a sign i should cut back, but what are my options really, even if i add up all the money i spend on ordering food it’s still cheaper than having someone come in and remodel the kitchen and besides it would take my mother about a week to return it to it’s current state.
now that i’ve gotten that off my chest, it’s back to charmed and alias later.
yes, i’m still sitting in front of the tv, the joys of laptop computing.
ciao
a day late…
i would have posted last night after my wonderful day, but the server was down, apparently technical difficulties abound. everywhere.
so yesterday i went to see a client in the morning and he stiffed me, not completely but we’ll see how long he takes to pay off the balance on his account.
but that wasn’t the important part of the day i spent all afternoon and some of the night in the company of friends i went to k & l’s 3rd anniversary luncheon and beach lime. congrats guys. it was great, the food was good, the shit talk was good, the company was great and i hadn’t been to the beach so long. it was beautiful, the water was cold (ideal in this heat) and i sat and watched the sun set from the beach and lay there and watched the stars come out one by one. there is a beauty to starlight that we miss in our well lit homes. sigh. all in all it was rejuventating. i felt a sense that all was right in the world.
which brings us to today. i’m still on the high from yesterday, i’m hoping that it holds (if not i’ve got half a bottle of my good friend jack to keep my bouyant) i’m still fighting the cold and now i’m dealing with all the insects bites that i got last night. so i’ve spent most of the day, lazing about, watching mind numbing tv, i should be doing something productive, but you what, i don’t feel like.
tomorrow school reopens here meaning that getting to and from work is going to be that much more difficult, but tomorrow is another day, i’m off to watch disney channel’s kim possible, i’ll be back later if anything of interest comes up, otherwise see you tomorrow.
