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i am returned

May 18, 2003 — Leave a comment

i still ache and had to sleep on my stomach last night, but i stood in the mirror today and this is so definitely worth the pain. 

ok, i think i’m in a better position to describe the tattoo, it’s starts on my chest, left and right side, goes over the shoulder, crosses on my upper back and recrosses to end in a point midway down my spine, the best way to describe it, is a pair of folded wings or a heart.

formula one today kicked major fucking ass. two false starts, ferarri on fire in the pits. what more could i ask for. i had a blast then i geeked out and finished setting up a machine for the rest of the day and then saw one of the funniest episodes samuari jack – jack through the looking glass. the writers were very definitely on class A drugs.

i miss victoria, on many levels and of late, the physical needs have become very dominant. getting inked hasn’t helped, my level of arousal has leapt through the roof. yes, the pain is a turn on. ok. sort of suffering for your art. lol. but i realised last night that the situation is getting completely out of hand, i saw anna nicole smith on tv and thought, you know she isn’t so bad…

i need my wife! I WANT MY WIFE!

breathe. 

i must not fear. fear is the mind killer. fear is the little death that brings about total obliteration. i will face my fear. i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past, i will turn with the inner eye to see it’s path. where the fear has gone, there will be nothing, only i will remain. 

i’ll be back later.