Archives For elders

my grandmother`s birthday is in a month, more or less, on the same day as my ex-wife, is one of my best friends in the world. as it`s inappropriate to discuss a lady`s age i`m not going to say how old my grandmother is. what i am going to do is marvel at her experiences.

my grandmother was born less than 100 years after slavery was abolished in the British colonies, less than 50 years after it was abolished in the US. She`s lived through two world wars, seen transportation and communication grow by leaps and bounds.

i always find it fascinating to think that when my grandmother was the age i am now, electricity, telephones and indoor plumbing were all still luxuries. i think it`s one of the things that help give me perspective.

my grandmother is bedridden, some of it due to old age and partially due to sheer ill will towards my mother, but mentally she is razor sharp. i`m sorry i`m not going to be there to share this birthday with her and i worry about her and my mother. to describe their relationship as antagonistic would be polite, but i think it keeps them alive and i worry if something happens to one of them, the other is not going to be around much longer after that.

i worry about them and i miss them, but i can`t just pick up and go see them, i can`t pick up and go anywhere for at least two years and that bothers me as well. my fervent prayer is they can both hold on at least for me to see them one more time.

telling tales

August 17, 2004 — 1 Comment

it`s hard to believe it`s been four years since i first met vic, we can measure our relationship in terms of the summer games. i watched the last summer games at her parents house with her incredibly funny and amazing parents, the very young and very bright boychick and herself.

so much has changed in that time, vic`s dad is no longer with us. i only meet him briefly but he was one of those people i could sit and listen to for hours. in my interactions with vic`s family, i`ve realised one of the reasons i like them so much is the conversation.

in one of the major dichotomies of my personality, the techno-geek in me loves the oral tradition. i love sitting around and listening to stories. i like to think of myself as a collector of tales, it`s one of the reasons i have so many short story anthologies in the library. but as fun as those are, sitting and listening to someone tell a story has a special magic.

vic`s dad was one of those special magicians who could draw you into his own story, most of those weeks from four years ago are pretty much a blur, but i still remember the stories and i have them to pass along to the boychick as well as well as a few of my own.