Archives For driving

i did a lot driving this weekend in TN; Nashville – Kingston, Kingston – Memphis, Memphis – Nashville, pretty much one side of the state to other and then back to the middle.  i managed to make incredibly good time and avoided getting any speeding tickets following some fairly simple rules.

1. don`t be the rabbit; stay with the pack, especially if everyone else is not in the passing lane. you also don`t want to be at the head of the pack in the passing lane because you`ll be the first to get tagged. conversely you don`t want to be at the back of a bunch of speeders either because you`ll be likely the first one to get pulled over.

2. stay within 9 mph of the posted speed limit. you`re less likely to get a ticket if you`re going less than 10 mph over the speed limit. if the traffic is moving at a consistent pace and you`re less likely to be singled out.

3. pay attention to the trucks; i have never seen a truck get a speeding ticket; if you have, i stand corrected. the trucks usually know where the traps are and their driving indicates it.

4. try to be inconspicuous. if you`re driving anything brightly coloured with a spoiler, a two door coupe, any model sports car; you are conspicuous. you can`t help what you drive, but even in the pack, you car stands out and you`ll be the most likely to get pulled over.

5. in Tn, at least, not all cop cars look it. the THP has a number of vehicles not limited to black SUVs that you don`t notice until the lights start flashing.

6. holidays are open season. on holidays and holiday weekends, local and state police tend to be out in force.

what worked for me, may not work for you. be careful and pay attention on the roads.

i love driving but i wish that there would be one day a year when we could have open season on the fuckwits that share the roads.

topping this list would the idiots who think it`s bright to cross the street in a haphazard manner when there is a cross walk not even an extra step away. you deserve to die and if it wouldn`t cause damage to my car, i`d run you over myself.

next are the idiot SUV drivers, i believe i have a new spatial theory; the size of the SUV is inversely proportional to the ability of the driver to traverse a corner in the correct lane. or maybe it`s because they`ve been deluding about themselves about the actually their microscopic penises and thus have no idea how measurement works for the rest of us in the real world.

coming in close behind are these morons with two hands; filled with cigarettes and cellphones; and half a brain. it`s obvious by the way you drive you can`t perform more than one task at a time, why tax your pea-sized brain. either smoke and drive or talk on the phone and drive, you can`t manage both, so don`t even try.

garnering a special mention on this list are the morons who change lanes, turn corners suddenly, without indicating. i believe that the stalk for the indicator should be surgically attached to their ass to forever remind them what they are supposed to do when they are turning a corner or changing lanes.

i like driving. i particularly like driving manual cars. not that i don`t love the joys of cruise control and not having to balance the clutch sometimes, but i`d rather give those up that a manual gear shift.

i think my love for driving came from my mother. she had an original 1000 mini, manual shift and drove it like a racing driver. down shifting, drafting busses, all the tricks i know now, i learned sitting next to my mother in the mini.

one of the things we used to do and i still do now is adventure driving. the concept worked well in trinidad, because it`s only so big and the principle was the road had to come out somewhere. on a larger scale it helps me find alternate routes and couple with an unfailing sense of direction i`ve found it very useful when i move somewhere new.

how it`s done, basically, is you pick a street and follow your instinct that it will take you where it needs too. it`s sort of like dirk gently`s theory about following a car as stated here.

“… A  few turnings later and I was thoroughly lost. There is a school of thought which says that you should consult a map on these occasions,  but  to  such people I merely say, `Ha! What if you have no map to consult? What if you have a map but it`s of the Dordogne?`  My own strategy is to find a car, or the nearest equivalent, which looks as if it knows where it`s going and follow it.  I rarely  end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere that I needed to be. So  what  do  you say to that?”

from douglas adams` long dark tea time of the soul

well, it works for me. but i`m the person my closest friends have intimated that has sold my soul for parking spaces and a sense of direction. i get parking spaces close to, if not directly in front of where i want to be and i don`t get lost. so adventure driving or picking a road and following it to see where it will take you in proximity to where you wanted to be in the first place works for me.

damn i`ve lost my initial train of thought.

some time later

i remember, i remember.

a loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter. i remember.

well that too, but i remembered my train of thought and original point of my post.

i`ve never been a huge fan of american iron. i like sports cars, i would be thrilled to drive them at least once but i don`t actually want to own one, particularly an american made sports car. that`s right, no corvettes, no camaros, no mustangs. and there is good reason, the transmission. most american cars come with automatic transmission and even if it comes with manual transmission the gear ratio, stinks.

i was completely appalled to park next to an audi tt and peep in the window to see an automatic transmission. that`s just wrong. i think there should be a law, you want to drive a sports car, you should know how to handle a clutch.

i am a big guy, the two seater sports coupe doesn`t do anything for me, primarily cause i can`t fit in them. when i was younger, thinner, much more flexible and thinking about buying my first car, i tried out a madza miata and i thought i was going to hurt myself clambering in and out of that thing. my mid-life crisis cars would either be the subura impreza wrx — rally tuned suspension and six speed gear box or a bmw m5.

give me a sedan or wagon, with a good transmission and some good broad, low profile tires i`m heaven. i like the neon it`s small but it responds well, it has nice pickup; if the ac isn`t running and it doesn`t suck gas. if i had to change one thing on it, it would the tires, the narrow, 13″ tires just irk me, those should be outlawed too.

time to get on the road again.