You’re an Idiot – the Road Test edition

May 11, 2004 — Leave a comment

i love driving but i wish that there would be one day a year when we could have open season on the fuckwits that share the roads.

topping this list would the idiots who think it`s bright to cross the street in a haphazard manner when there is a cross walk not even an extra step away. you deserve to die and if it wouldn`t cause damage to my car, i`d run you over myself.

next are the idiot SUV drivers, i believe i have a new spatial theory; the size of the SUV is inversely proportional to the ability of the driver to traverse a corner in the correct lane. or maybe it`s because they`ve been deluding about themselves about the actually their microscopic penises and thus have no idea how measurement works for the rest of us in the real world.

coming in close behind are these morons with two hands; filled with cigarettes and cellphones; and half a brain. it`s obvious by the way you drive you can`t perform more than one task at a time, why tax your pea-sized brain. either smoke and drive or talk on the phone and drive, you can`t manage both, so don`t even try.

garnering a special mention on this list are the morons who change lanes, turn corners suddenly, without indicating. i believe that the stalk for the indicator should be surgically attached to their ass to forever remind them what they are supposed to do when they are turning a corner or changing lanes.

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