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vic is back. woo hoo.
today is now official perfect. 

yes, the simple things in life make me happy. forget the rest of crap that’s going wrong today (tattoo guy bailed on the interview today, the phones in the office are down, my boss has thrown a monkey wrench into my carefully arranged shoot this weekend (yes, it is thursday, she’s changing models…) and my anger towards her has sucked all the inspiration for this new campaign out of me.)

my love is back and right now that’s all that matters. i’m going to finish watching real women have curves see if that doesn’t bring some light back in brain. if that doesn’t work, i’m taking the work home. there is a certain comfort and inspiration to sitting around my house working.

i mentioned in another post, that i reach an almost zen like state when i get ink. it’s kind of hard to explain, you tune out most of the pain and focus on the hum of the machine, breathing, drifting. it’s an amazing feeling, then when it’s done, there is the tingling sensation on area that’s been tattoo’d grounding you almost. or it could just be me.

anyway, i’m back to the grind. links and more later.

yesterday was packed to the gills with all the fun shit that makes life so enjoyable and interesting.

the birthday lunch for my younger daughter went off fairly hitchless, my older daughter was here as well and a good time was had by all. sometime in between all of this i found time to finish the cover for the annual report, attempt to deliver it to the client, come back home, wash my hair get dressed and be very late for the media excellence awards.

my date for the evening was the always lovely karen (who i must say looked stunning) and i think we made quite the impression, got there late, but then made the rounds hilton poolside for the free food and drink. we weren’t sure if it was me in the sarong and red shirt or the small muscular indian woman in the hot dress by my side or the combination of the two.

we left the media awards around 11, wandering sort of aimlessly, well not entirely, planning to swing by after dark to see who was about and show off karen in her hot femme duds, she was just too hot, we left a little after 4am.

which brings us up to speed, i’m working on corrections to the annual report, i’ve had 3 1/2 hours sleep and now i have a shitload of corrections to do. joy.

i’ll be back.

and we’re back

May 21, 2003 — Leave a comment

some sense of duty has brought me back to the office. i am excited, i want to talk to someone about what i have just seen, the matrix is visually exciting, it lacks some of the punch of the first installment but i really enjoyed. 

vic is not online, which in itself is supremely disappointing, i want to blather on about what i did today, how much fun i had and even though i had all this fun, nothing seems quite the same without her. 

i’m sitting here, listening to the nattering of the staff around me and the solid click, click, click of the keys under my fingertips as i type and all my thoughts are focussed on willing vic back to her machine, hearing the little sound that aol makes when someone new logs on. which in itself is funny, i left my computer at home today because i knew that i would have very little need for my mobile office. i got in this morning and immediately dl aim to see if i would get an opportunity to talk to vic, no luck, i’m back and she’s not here. sigh. 

i have a low level headache, not sure if it’s having missed lunched or what i call the refresh rate headache. 

i have a theory, actually i have a few but this one is that because i spend so much time in front of a computer  screen (about 80% of my waking day) my eyes have become accoustmed to the 67Hz refresh rate of the monitor and the 30fps of movies just does something to my blink reflex (this could be complete and utter shite, but 9 times out of 10, i come out of the movies with a headache) 

i have another 40 minutes of work and nothing to do, so i’m going to check the news and read my fellow bloggers. i’ll be back later with news and views.

today is the day

May 21, 2003 — Leave a comment

it’s like fucking christmas, i haven’t been up this early in a long time. i so need to get a fucking life. 

so i’m bright eyed and bush tailed, dispensing fashion and relationship advice early in the morning. 
i seem to excel at giving advice, but i can’t follow my own for fucking hell. i call it the sisyphus complex (for those of you who don’t know he was, according to homer (go look it up, i can’t explain everything), the wisest and most prudent of mortals but was condemned by the gods to ceaselesly roll a rock to the top of a mountain whence it would roll back down and the process would begin anew) 
anyway the crux of this theory is – i can see other people’s problems (or rock) clearly because i have perspective, but in my own life, i’m standing behind the rock, so i all i know it is continually an uphill battle. but sometimes more often than not you need to step away and seize up the size of the rock, cause what you believe to be a boulder might in fact be a pebble. 

on this note i would like to believe i have some perspective in my life, but based on my rollercoaster emotional state i doubt that very much. again, i’m try to hold on to the joys in my life and let that be my focal point, i still haven’t heard from santo domingo, but i will in due course, sitting at home and mulling over it, is not going let the process go by any faster. i’m not getting the other cushy job (they have no budget – i believe they may have over extended themselves in an effort to keep one of their current art directors) but i have a free reign at the job i do have and i’m doing work that i can be proud of. 

speaking of which one of the directors of the company came in about a week after i started working there, show me an ad that had been reproduced elsewhere and he wanted to liberate elements for an ad he wanted built for another company he run. yes, he plagerised (that’s actually being polite) and now he’s been caught and catching flak for it. and by some extension so am i, because people talk, what’s funny is that in this culture where people have no respect for the work of others, people are point and staring and laughing but a patently guilty of the same thing. i would think (and this is just me), if you too had cocoa in the sun you would want to be a little more circumspect about pointing and laughing. (how many fucking metaphors did i mix there – jesus, i need to get some more control over my thoughts) 

i said last night that i had a lot of shit to talk about, well that was some of it. there is a lot more, but i really need to get to work now, i have to make sure everything i need to do is done before i leave this morning. 

have a great one.

woo hoo

May 20, 2003 — Leave a comment

less than 12 hours to the matrix reloaded.

i’m going into the office to cut and mount up the layouts i did today and then bail out and head to the movies.

i should get to bed but before i do, i’m going to post the first picture of my new work in progress.

i have so much to say at the moment but i’m not quite sure where to begin and what i want to say.

i want to talk about how much i miss vic and deleting my friend ian’s contact info off my computer today (he died last year just before christmas), how teary gilmore girls made me and as much as i like the season finale of smallville, something seemed to be missing.

actually that seems to be the crux of my life at the moment. something is missing – victoria. she is my light and my joy, she means the world to me and being without her, is at best; difficult, at worst…

it’s where i am now. holding on daily to the joy her presence, even online brings me.

fuck, i’m getting maudlin.

good night.

knight of wands

May 16, 2003 — Leave a comment

o the pig (term of endearment, i swear) had a tarot reading this week and i am her knight of wands (or so she says) and it may not necessarily be a good thing, but i’m wondering how much faith to put into it. she also had a pyschic reading done about two years ago that said we would get back together (yeah, right! not very likely). and just for the record she is a queen of coins reversed.all of this is apropos of nothing, i saw a post on another blog about tarot cards and it came to mind.

doing some research i can’t actually deny that i was any of the things that the knight of wands represents. i think i’ve changed, age brings reason.

to which end:

I Am

i feel good. sometimes you have to take joy in life’s little pleasures. it was the high point of an all together bleech day. 

i went to the canadian high commission today and was told either i need to find my father (who has to be resident in canada) and get him to sponsor me or take the skilled immigrant test. i score 64 out of a possible 100, pass mark is 75. so i can’t immigrate unless there is a canadian company willing to hire me (and prove there are no canadians that can’t be hired to do the job.) 

i also spent the afternoon watching babershop, there are some disctinct advantages having a computer with a dvd drive. tomorrow is the last day of such entertainments, my boss is back from her shoot on monday. sigh. 

i haven’t gotten to talk to vic much today and i may not tonight because i have a farewell shindig to attend, i’m going because the person that’s leaving is my friend, the host on the other hand are some of the rude fuckers that let me stagger home drunk a couple of weeks ago. [note to self, not getting drunk tonight.] 

as i’m sitting here, i’m pondering about going to this shindig, how am i getting there, how am i getting home? these kind of questions, do i want to waste my precious time with people i don’t like when i could be talking to my wife? decisions, decisions, decisions. 

while i think about it, the news in brief: 

is it just me or is this worrying? 

yet another matrix article 

and i sit here and re-edit this post, i am savouring the taste of free KFC, on our little rock it’s 30 minutes or free delivery, so i’m enjoying the fruits of their tardiness.

the best of…

May 15, 2003 — Leave a comment

for those of you who like this sort of thing

here is the list of bests

and more on those nonexistent WMD

today is the US opening of the Matrix reloaded (those of us here, have to wait til next wednesday, i’m already planning to skip work to go) so far the reviews haven’t been great.

i took out a great deal of my frustration on some poor technocrat at the phone company, i didn’t use obscene language, but i did express my displeasure with their service and their attitude. not that it’s helping, it’s 10am and neither phone is useable, still.

i have started a campaign of harrassment, i will have my way.

oh. my. god.

May 12, 2003 — Leave a comment

i don’t think i should be watching secretary at work.

i am 50 minutes into the movie and i have just witnessed the single most erotic thing i have ever come across in film. the scene is both visually and aurally stimulating. i’m going to have to watch the rest of this at home, i don’t think i can continue watching and function properly in the office.

this is definitely a must own. and shared.

going to work, i need the distraction

NEWS FLASH

May 11, 2003 — Leave a comment

white teeth is showing on pbs.

if you don’t know, you need to get the book first and then try to catch whenever it airs.

again…

white teeth (the book) – zadie smith (what are you waiting for? GO OUT AND BUY IT)

white teeth (the channel 4 miniseries) – running on pbs. (what i have to get the schedule for you too?)