Archives For matrix reloaded

and we’re back

May 21, 2003 — Leave a comment

some sense of duty has brought me back to the office. i am excited, i want to talk to someone about what i have just seen, the matrix is visually exciting, it lacks some of the punch of the first installment but i really enjoyed. 

vic is not online, which in itself is supremely disappointing, i want to blather on about what i did today, how much fun i had and even though i had all this fun, nothing seems quite the same without her. 

i’m sitting here, listening to the nattering of the staff around me and the solid click, click, click of the keys under my fingertips as i type and all my thoughts are focussed on willing vic back to her machine, hearing the little sound that aol makes when someone new logs on. which in itself is funny, i left my computer at home today because i knew that i would have very little need for my mobile office. i got in this morning and immediately dl aim to see if i would get an opportunity to talk to vic, no luck, i’m back and she’s not here. sigh. 

i have a low level headache, not sure if it’s having missed lunched or what i call the refresh rate headache. 

i have a theory, actually i have a few but this one is that because i spend so much time in front of a computer  screen (about 80% of my waking day) my eyes have become accoustmed to the 67Hz refresh rate of the monitor and the 30fps of movies just does something to my blink reflex (this could be complete and utter shite, but 9 times out of 10, i come out of the movies with a headache) 

i have another 40 minutes of work and nothing to do, so i’m going to check the news and read my fellow bloggers. i’ll be back later with news and views.

today is the day

May 21, 2003 — Leave a comment

it’s like fucking christmas, i haven’t been up this early in a long time. i so need to get a fucking life. 

so i’m bright eyed and bush tailed, dispensing fashion and relationship advice early in the morning. 
i seem to excel at giving advice, but i can’t follow my own for fucking hell. i call it the sisyphus complex (for those of you who don’t know he was, according to homer (go look it up, i can’t explain everything), the wisest and most prudent of mortals but was condemned by the gods to ceaselesly roll a rock to the top of a mountain whence it would roll back down and the process would begin anew) 
anyway the crux of this theory is – i can see other people’s problems (or rock) clearly because i have perspective, but in my own life, i’m standing behind the rock, so i all i know it is continually an uphill battle. but sometimes more often than not you need to step away and seize up the size of the rock, cause what you believe to be a boulder might in fact be a pebble. 

on this note i would like to believe i have some perspective in my life, but based on my rollercoaster emotional state i doubt that very much. again, i’m try to hold on to the joys in my life and let that be my focal point, i still haven’t heard from santo domingo, but i will in due course, sitting at home and mulling over it, is not going let the process go by any faster. i’m not getting the other cushy job (they have no budget – i believe they may have over extended themselves in an effort to keep one of their current art directors) but i have a free reign at the job i do have and i’m doing work that i can be proud of. 

speaking of which one of the directors of the company came in about a week after i started working there, show me an ad that had been reproduced elsewhere and he wanted to liberate elements for an ad he wanted built for another company he run. yes, he plagerised (that’s actually being polite) and now he’s been caught and catching flak for it. and by some extension so am i, because people talk, what’s funny is that in this culture where people have no respect for the work of others, people are point and staring and laughing but a patently guilty of the same thing. i would think (and this is just me), if you too had cocoa in the sun you would want to be a little more circumspect about pointing and laughing. (how many fucking metaphors did i mix there – jesus, i need to get some more control over my thoughts) 

i said last night that i had a lot of shit to talk about, well that was some of it. there is a lot more, but i really need to get to work now, i have to make sure everything i need to do is done before i leave this morning. 

have a great one.

woo hoo

May 20, 2003 — Leave a comment

less than 12 hours to the matrix reloaded.

i’m going into the office to cut and mount up the layouts i did today and then bail out and head to the movies.

i should get to bed but before i do, i’m going to post the first picture of my new work in progress.

i have so much to say at the moment but i’m not quite sure where to begin and what i want to say.

i want to talk about how much i miss vic and deleting my friend ian’s contact info off my computer today (he died last year just before christmas), how teary gilmore girls made me and as much as i like the season finale of smallville, something seemed to be missing.

actually that seems to be the crux of my life at the moment. something is missing – victoria. she is my light and my joy, she means the world to me and being without her, is at best; difficult, at worst…

it’s where i am now. holding on daily to the joy her presence, even online brings me.

fuck, i’m getting maudlin.

good night.