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running on empty

July 30, 2003 — Leave a comment

i`m tired and i`m hungry. it`s been a long day, we only photographed one quarry today but i think it`s enough. i was supposed to do the other tomorrow but i`m too tired and my boss` cheapness is again going to cost us more money. while i was off doing location shooting my boss sent off the copywriter to do aerial photography with the digital camera. i was against the idea from the very beginning, my anger about this is compounded by the fact that not only are the pictures crappy, they`re low res crap. now i`m either going to have to reshoot myself [something i`m completely not looking forward to] or spending another day out with the photographer doing the aerials [after i lied of embarassment, not wanting him to know what my boss was doing]

vic coincindentally is off on a shoot of her own this evening. i`m hoping i can stay up til she gets home. i miss her so much, i`m kind of grateful i`ve had so much to do. it`s helping not to dwell on the loneliness.

my mother`s behaviour is not helping either, ever since i got back home on monday my mother has been behaving arsey, she`s muttering and answering me curtly. i love her, but there are times when i find it very hard to like her. today is her birthday, yesterday i get a question like `are you doing anything for my birthday?`

umm… love, i sent you to see carnival messiah on monday, tickets are expensive. this makes me seem mean and cheap, but i`m not, not really. it`s just the tone and the attitude. she know she`s going to hit me up for money and i`m going to give it to her. she knows i had a shoot all day today. she knows all of this but still…

there are times when i think it would be cheaper to rent a furnished apartment. i`ve had to point out to my mother on more than one occasion, just because i`m an artist with access to a printer that doesn`t mean i can print some up whenever the need arises.

my food has arrived, i`m going to eat. maybe just maybe, i can find a happy place this evening

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or at least i sincerely hope so. well in terms of the weather, mostly. i was on location most of yesterday on a photo shoot and even though it was hazy and overcast most of the day, we got everything done. i have more location shooting this morning and i’m hoping the weather holds. funnily, even though the photo shoot is in east trinidad and i’m in west trinidad i have to make the call on the weather, most i can see out the windows in my house looking east are clouds. this is going be such fun. ooh according weather.com, there is only a 10% chance of precipitation.

let’s get this movable feast underway. i can only hope everything goes as planned and we can wrap this up this morning.

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i’ve been getting a lot of compliments about my hair, but the stupidest comment is…

wait for it…

“is that your hair?”

no, i picked it up in a flea market. what prompts people to ask stupid shit like that.

nevermind.

in other news this has been a throughly successful day, paid the taxes on vic’s ticket. found a beautiful apartment in lower fort george this afternoon. loved it so much, i paid the deposit. you can see most of port of spain and the gulf from the patio. the bed is huge, the bedroom has a/c and the kitchen is tiny and intimate. if i could afford it, i’d live there.

now all that’s left is the paying for it.

tonight i had also had dinner and drinks with sarah, she’s putting on an exhibition with 4 other artist and i promised to do the programme. i got all the info today, if i can get this corporate identity second draft out of the way, i can commit all my energies to it. i don’t understand why i’m finding it so difficult get going on the corporate identity. this is a paying gig and fairly decently too. why can i get a jumpstart? the webserver is up and running, perfectly, though. so that’s one less worry.

it’s started raining out and between that, the two beers, the pizza and the longing for vic, i just want to crawl into my bed, but i promised myself faithfully, i’d get at least two more items done before i go to bed tonight, so no rest for the wicked.

i’m going to get to work while i wait for vic and toss my hair some more.

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too long, too long

June 28, 2003 — Leave a comment

only 20 more days before gets here. 🙂 my god, the dreams, the dreams. i’m still tingling and it’s midafternoon. i’ve been in the office far too many hours already. the print making continues, either i have exceptionally high standards or most people in the business here have no idea how printing operates.

nevermind, i was going to start ranting but i’m trying to extending the good feeling from last night’s random act of kindness and that truly delicious, sensuous dream. (wouldn’t you like to know)

i’m taking a break while the last of the files save and i managed to squeeze in some tests.

got this one from jadedgrrl and it was too funny not to take, here is my result:




Not Bad

You scored a 32.

You are 43.8% queer.

Well, you are kinda queer, but you still need to work in it a bit.  You only scored in the bottom 50th percentile of queerness.  More than half the world is queerer than you, meaning half the world is having more fun than you.

Others in your queerness category: Pierce Brosnan, Don King, The guy on the Quaker Oats box, Don Johnson,  Dick Van Dyke, your local weatherman, any Asian or guy from Europe.

which makes this result, no surprise:

HASH(0x83a9b98)

You are: Flaming Ernie- Wow, I always wondered why

he liked to hang out with Bert…. I always

thought Bert was the gay one…. Ha-  you

proved that one wrong! Oh well. Gay ppl are

happy ppl…

What F*cked up Sesame Charracter are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

(thanks laura)

and this has been knocking about  js for a couple days now:

entrancing

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves

your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling

he/she is dreaming.  Quite effective; the kiss

that never lessens and always blows your

partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

and the friday 5 only a day late (but not very applicable):

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter] (august vacation in these parts)?

working mostly (but vic is coming here in 20 days. woo hoo)

2. What was your first summer job?

bagging groceries, loved it.

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?

anywhere vic and i could hole up for hours and hours alone.

4. What was your worst vacation ever?

none really, i usually find a way to have a good time wherever i am.

5. What was your best vacation ever?

4 days in barbados with vic

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i’m still here

June 27, 2003 — Leave a comment

it’s 6:30pm and i’m still at the office, it’s been that kind of day. actually it’s because i sat on my ass uninspired all day, that and the new printer that i recommended decided that it was going to be difficult under os x. well i fixed that, now i just need to placate my client when she calls screaming why her webserver which i guaranteed would be up in two days, isn’t going up til monday. i’m so not in the mood. doesn’t help that i have to come into work tomorrow which will be all day adventure by the looks of it.

tonight would be a great night to get fucked, senseless, what am i saying, on any night that would be a dream come through. but tonight i just want to surrender. 21 days, 21 days, 21 days. in three weeks, i’ll be on my way to the airport around now. not soon enough.

i should get back to work, i’m aiming to leaving the printer going with the prints and do the paste up tomorrow. i’ll be back later.

and what the fuck am i doing in the office so early.

the answer is perfectly simple, the meaning is clear… just don’t disappear, don’t disappear (sorry the song just popped into my head unbidden…) i’m here to finish up the artwork for the campaign, i am flat on my face tired and if i’d stayed home i’d just stay in bed.

i’m waiting for the supermarket downstairs to get some fruit and some water. trying to see how long i can do this before having to resort to the liquid crack.

ok, time for me to do what i came to do

i have gotten a chance to shit sideways all afternoon, my boss has been on me like a tick about the campaign in the office, meaning i haven’t gotten any pages done. i’m trying to get out of here at 4:30 on the dot to make my other meeting then head down to the guardian to at least drop of the first set of pages.

i really hope and get a whole night’s sleep tonight. back to the grind. ciao.

when you’re so tired you’re almost exuberant, because you’re just running on sheer adrenaline? that’s where i am now. but i know how exhausted i am, i left the page plan for the second set of pages, which in terms of sheet stupidity, is monumental.
what does this mean exactly? it means i haven’t been able to do jack shit about it all morning, so i’m heading home as soon as i’m assured that the first set of pages is safely emailed and then work balls to the wall on that and finishing up a campaign that needs to be proofed this afternoon to go out for prints tomorrow. all of this before my 3:30 meeting with a new client to win a contract to service their machines. i can only hope the rush holds.

ok, the file is sent, i’m off to save the world.

really i should i got back from the movie about 30 minutes ago, i’ve got work in the morning, but my 8 – 4:30 ain’t paying for this trip (vic is here in 24 days), i need to make sure we’re both covered for the week off work, food, accomodation, transport… they usual stuff, so here i am slaving away on the website. well not actually slaving, doing thumbnails til i find something i really like and then i get to work.

i saw finding nemo and bruce almighty tonight, liked bruce, loved, loved, loved, finding nemo, it was funny and touching and the geek in me was just like, whoa. it’s nice to go with friends, but it just make think about all the little things i miss doing with vic, i love going to the movies, we’ve seen one movie together, that’s just so not right. i miss her so much. god, if start climbing down this hole i wont get anything done tonight.

i’m off to finish the thumbnails and so i can present a draft to the client in the morning. adieu.

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good morning

June 19, 2003 — Leave a comment

DAYS TIL VICTORIA GETS HERE: 29

how bad is it when you’re borrowing money off your child? i’m about to find out, i’m going to grab a shower, see if there is anything edible in this kitchen, then head off to the office, first order of business, major diagnostics on the art dept machines, then upgrade to os x. i never realised how much i like os x til i have to use 9 on a daily basis and how flaky and counterproductive it is.

in other news, there was this hottie in the italian job. apparently he was also in confidence, but the thought of having to watch ed burns in another movie… well i’d rather have my eye put out with a dull stick… needless to say i’ll be giving it a miss.

underdog onlinecelebrating the underdog and the outsider in a healthily frivolous and assertive way

underdog also has a link to the very secret diaries of the LOTR characters (it’s been around a while, but i had forgotten how funny they were)

and not quite foodie porn – failed foods

i’m off to get something to eat and head off to the office, more later, i’m going to have lots of time on my hands today, while the computers do stuff.

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