running on empty

i`m tired and i`m hungry. it`s been a long day, we only photographed one quarry today but i think it`s enough. i was supposed to do the other tomorrow but i`m too tired and my boss` cheapness is again going to cost us more money. while i was off doing location shooting my boss sent off the copywriter to do aerial photography with the digital camera. i was against the idea from the very beginning, my anger about this is compounded by the fact that not only are the pictures crappy, they`re low res crap. now i`m either going to have to reshoot myself [something i`m completely not looking forward to] or spending another day out with the photographer doing the aerials [after i lied of embarassment, not wanting him to know what my boss was doing]

vic coincindentally is off on a shoot of her own this evening. i`m hoping i can stay up til she gets home. i miss her so much, i`m kind of grateful i`ve had so much to do. it`s helping not to dwell on the loneliness.

my mother`s behaviour is not helping either, ever since i got back home on monday my mother has been behaving arsey, she`s muttering and answering me curtly. i love her, but there are times when i find it very hard to like her. today is her birthday, yesterday i get a question like `are you doing anything for my birthday?`

umm… love, i sent you to see carnival messiah on monday, tickets are expensive. this makes me seem mean and cheap, but i`m not, not really. it`s just the tone and the attitude. she know she`s going to hit me up for money and i`m going to give it to her. she knows i had a shoot all day today. she knows all of this but still…

there are times when i think it would be cheaper to rent a furnished apartment. i`ve had to point out to my mother on more than one occasion, just because i`m an artist with access to a printer that doesn`t mean i can print some up whenever the need arises.

my food has arrived, i`m going to eat. maybe just maybe, i can find a happy place this evening

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