Archives For entertainment

last weekend i was fortunate enough to see once upon a time in the west and both kill bill movies. i`ve been a long time fan of sergio leone and have managed to borrow all the man with no name westerns from the library.

in terms of just sheer film making once upon a time in the west is a work of genius. the opening 13 minutes of the film have very little dialogue, no score and features once of the best opening lines in any western.

interestingly, although both once upon a time in the west and kill bill are revenge flicks, kill bill is more an onanistic endeavour on the part of tarentino. i`m not saying i didn`t like the film, but seeing both these movies on the same weekend show up the weakness of kill bill, particularly volume 1.

this weekend i watched a fistful of dollars which is an homage to akira kurosawa`s yojimbo, which was later redone as last man standing with bruce willis.

the leone westerns made clint eastwood a star and redefined the genre. in looking at these movies recently i realise that many directors have borrowed liberally.

do yourself a favour, experience these movies for yourself.

i, appalled

March 14, 2004 — Leave a comment

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction,  allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A robot must obey orders  given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with  the First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as  such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

i don`t what i was thinking. hollywood, will smith, blockbuster summer? of course it would have absolutely no bearing on the original book.

i think these movies should have a disclaimer, loosely based on the book or short story by the same name. i`ve seen it time and time again, it don`t know why i`m surprised. there have been 5 philip k. dick short story adaptations and one, 20% has been any good.

you have no idea what i`m talking about do you? i love to read, i`m also a big sci-fi fan and i`m truly disappointed when my favorite books and short stories are fucked beyond all recognition by some hack screenwriter. clear? good. let`s get back to philip k. dick.

the five phillip k. dick movies in order of release are:

1. do androids dream of electric sheep, which translated into one of the best movies of all time, bladerunner.

2. we can remember it for you, wholesale, which translated badly into total recall.

3. imposter into another bad movie of the same name

4. minority report, please don`t get me started

5. and most recently paycheck, which was another colossal misrepresentation.

as if that weren`t bad enough, there is, to be released this year, i, robot. a couple of points and maybe you`ll understand my frustration. isaac asimov is credited with the creation of the word robotics. all roboticist design their creations with his three rules [see above] as their foundation and most importantly, almost all of this was defined by the book i, robot. to see all this good work just completely ruined by this piece of hollywood fuckery, just burns me.

and it`s not like people read enough to know the difference, it`s just so fucking sad.

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white noise and sparkles

February 20, 2004 — Leave a comment

i can`t function in silence. at work i have my collection of music, these days i`m sharing ie my headphones remain in my desk drawer and the rest of the department gets to share in some of my eclectic tastes.

at home, well what was my home until last saturday, i had the laptop connect to the speakers and as soon as i got in i`d pick something to listen to while i unwound, didn`t really matter, it was part of my collection so i must enjoy listening to it.

honestly, i hate the tinny sound of the speakers on the laptop and since the speakers are already packed away i automatically switch on the television. it`s not about what`s on it`s background noise. that doesn`t mean there are things on tv that wont catch my attention while i`m sitting at the computer, but they tend to be commercials, if only for the execution and style. this is my field.

there are things i like to watch and channels that the television stays on, like comedy central. i`ll be the first to admit that there is a lot of shit on comedy central but they still have some of the most innovative and entertaining programming on tv; south park, insomniac, chapelle show, the daily show. plus the reruns of snl and sports night far outweigh the man show.

at the old apartment the television only came on for me to watch my regulars, kids wb on a saturday, alias on a sunday, gilmore girls on a tuesday, smallville, angel, south park and chapelle show on a wednesday and er on a thursday when i remember.

these days the television is on all the time, a virtual sea of white noise. and in the sea of white noise that is television these are the sparkles and on wednesday night the light was almost blinding. i am speaking about angel, it sad to see the series get cancelled, i was just really getting into it; trying to catch the back episodes on tnt when i could.

wednesday night`s show featured angel as a puppet. i have not laughed so much in a long time. i`ve said this before, i enjoy well written television  and from concept to execution, angel was tv at it`s best. i think there is a rerun on tnt on tuesday night at 11pm. check it out.

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it’s about damn time

January 31, 2004 — Leave a comment

douglas adam fans of the world unite and cheer, casting and production have begun on The Hitchhiker`s Guide to the Galaxy movie.

it`s going to be a mostly english production with a few surprises not the least of which is Mos Def as Ford Prefect.

other roles cast include Zooey Deschanel as Trillian, Martin Freeman of The Office as Arthur Dent and Bill Nighy as fjord builder Slartibartfast.

if none of this makes any sense to you, that`s ok. just go see the movie when it premieres then read the books.

that is all.

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i love music. i`m a fan. i can`t say i never played air guitar, but i was more prone to play air`bass.

my fantasy job in the music business would be sound engineer however. i love good quality sound where you can hear the individual components contributing to the overall harmony.

most of my music collection is on my laptop, 20Gb of mp3s that run the gamut from metallica and tool to ella, miles, nina and the duke to wagner, bach and beethoven to fatboy slim, moby and paul oakenfold to stevie and marvin to slick rick and missy to johnny cash plus a large collection of soundtracks that allow me to indulge in my musical eccentricities.

i`m a child of the 80s, so i grew up with the big hair bands and the popular music of the era, but i also had a  large brit pop influence. we had a six hour countdown show every saturday, the host was a british expat and would cover billboard pop and country as well as the british charts. i remember getting my first `job` in the early 80s so i could buy a radio to listen to the show. my mother didn`t want to listen to six hours of `that noise` every saturday so she struck a deal with me, if i was willing to do the chores i could get my own radio. i did and for years whatever i was doing on a saturday i was locked on to it.

but that wasn`t the be all and end all of my musical education, on sundays my mother would go through her fairly extensive record collection and introduce me to a variety of things. we had a record player where you could stick in five lps at a time and as one finished, the other drop onto the turntable.

bob marley, miles davis, ella fitzgerald, marvin, aretha, the sounds of motown, soundtracks from the sound of music, my fair lady, singing in the rain. i would be on the couch reading while my mother made lunch and the records would play on. when i got to high school and everybody was `discovering` marley and the conscious lyrics, i was amazed, because the first bob marley record i`d heard was punky reggae party which was pretty much a party song.

i also spent a great deal of my formative years at my aunt`s house and her children were already in their late teens by the time i was aware of music, so i had their musical influences as well, abba, hendrix, pink floyd.

added to all of this was the music i discovered on my own, prince, metallica, doug e fresh, run dmc. my basic rule of thumb for music is that i was willing to give it a listen, not for the lyrically quality a lot of the time but for character of the music. it`s how it affects me on a visceral level.

i can`t make a blanket statement like a lot of music today is shit, but it certainly lacks a lot of charm and character, i don`t listen to much of today`s r&b because when you`ve been weaned on the classic most of the stuff out there is just a waste of studio time. it`s formulaic crap and that tends to go across the board.

the mass commercialisation of music and shorter attention spans have lead to mass production, it`s not art any more it`s about what sells. take it inagadda da vida, it`s a 17 minute drug and alcohol fuelled opus. in today`s three minute airplay ready market it would have never gotten made. same thing for concept albums, yes there is there`s the new outkast double album but that isn`t norm. in the 70s, a band wasn`t a real band until they`d done a concept or experimental album.

even though metallica has become the bane of music downloaders everywhere and became in my humble somewhat soulless and unoriginal after the black album did a magnificent piece of work with s&m which features them play with the san fransisco symphony orchestra, it`s an amazing piece of work and shows a level of creativity that is notable absent from the industry.

god i`m just going on. and i haven`t even covered the local music scene. my hands hurt and i`m hungry, so i`m going to stop here and continue later.

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i am such a freak

January 12, 2004 — Leave a comment

it`s been a long day, bear with me. it was highly productive today, but i`ve been going nonstop all day.

in typical anal retentive fashion, i followed up on my jamaican citizenship application which entailed two trips to the passport office. i then spent the rest of the day work on layouts for the presentation on thursday. then met about the layouts thus far and decided the main thrust wasn`t exactly on target, so it`s sort of back to the drawing board and some of the pictures have to change. it`s not as random as it sounds and it`s for the greater good, so i have no problems with it.

i finally realised i was doing myself no good and came home, this is where the freak part came in, i`m a huge james bond fan and amc is having a marathon all this week. by the time i came home i only caught the end of  you only live twice, but i`m hearing this piece of music and thinking why the hell does it sound so familiar.

anal retentive me, goes digging through the mp3 collection, i know this piece of music, i know this piece of music, as the end credits roll i hear another piece of music i know.

getting quite frustrated, i turn to my true research tool, google and to assuage my curiosity, i learned the following things

1. the end credit music was sung by nancy sinatra [which i knew] and the horn and instrumental portion were sampled by robbie williams for millennium, listen here

2. john barry [who scored a lot of the bond flicks] recycled the theme music from on her majesty`s secret service as incidental music in you only live twice and the reason i recognised it, because was the propellerheads [who are huge bond fans apparently] and the have a version of OHMSS on their album, which i love.

that album also features a track with shirley bassey and the piece of music that features in the lobby sequence of the original matrix.

this has been geeking with keifel. thank you and good night.

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grooving to the oldies

September 4, 2003 — Leave a comment

well that`s a bit of an exaggeration, i have an 80s playlist in itunes and i`m sitting at work with peter gabriel and general public and madness et al blaring out of the speakers. i am incredibly sleepy and there are all these very strange thoughts running around in my head.

if a straight woman who hangs out with gay man is a fag hag, what`s a straight[ish] man that hangs out with gay women called? {edit: a beard]

i just remember someone else who should stay home and enjoy their money, a couple some-bodies really. phil collins, lisa marie presley are two more people that should just fuck off and leave us to hell alone.

like i said this list will continue to grow as the names come to me.

and another thing, mtv and vh1, change your fucking names. talk about false advertising, when is the last time either one of these channels aired a fucking video. i thoroughly enjoyed i love the 70s and the 80s, but do i really to need to know about the glamourous life of j-lo and hot young pop stars? i think fucking not.

and what is this other piece of tripe that mtv has foisted on us the view. really who gives a fuck about jessica what`s her face and her equally forgettable husband. your reality cheque has bounced and the alarm clock on your 15 minutes has been fucking ringing for about 2 years.

i feel like a geriatric sometime when i complain about the poor quality being produced today. it`s a bunch of recycled garbage, i find myself listening to, more and more, the music i grew up on. everything seems so manufactured and commercial. i`m not saying there wasn`t manufactured and commercial in the 80s, do the names stock, aiken and waterman ring a bell? they foisted kylie [version 1], rick astley and quite a few soon forgotten one hit wonders but there was something about it, that didn`t seem so greedy and malicious as it seems now. or maybe i was still innocent then.

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i was just talking to vic about a list of actors who i would not mind ever seeing on screen [big or small] ever again and it got me to thinking. is there a definitive list of rich and [in]famous people who should just fuck off from our consciousness?

actually it doesn`t matter if there is, i have my own list and i boldy offer it to you. bearing in mind this is a first draft and i`ll add to the list as names come to me, not to mention the cruel thoughts as well.

john travolta, nicholas cage, tom cruise, tom hanks, mel gibson, ben affleck, jennifer lopez get out of the movie making business. don`t act, don`t produce, don`t direct, don`t do fuck all, but stay home and spend your fucking money.

close contenders in the hollywood category include samuel l. jackson and colin farrell. i mean has there been a movie in the last year that these two fuckers haven`t been in. there is such a thing as over exposure.

in the music category, i`m going to give the easy targets a miss, you know who they are and i know who they are and focus my loathing and rage at bands like metallica, the rolling stones, sting, paul fucking mccartney, michael `you can`t have to pay off that many boys` jackson. you all have more money than god, fuck off and leave us alone. the rolling stones in particular, i`m sure all of them have grandchildren, great-grand even, stay home with them, we do not need to see you tired wrinkly asses on tour anymore. have you not heard of growing old gracefully?

whew. i enjoyed that. i feel i`m going to be revisiting this topic frequently.

that can be arranged

August 21, 2003 — Leave a comment

i have to say that aside from the crappy brian adams song, the three musketeers with oliver platt and tim curry is probably my favourite version.

that is all.

from the archives

August 15, 2003 — Leave a comment

in one of my careers, i watched bad tv [so someone didn`t have to], here is the first thing i wrote for that column, it`s about the much despised anna nicole smith show:

Who greenlighted this humungous steaming pile of faeces—obviously their brains were sucked up in the vacuum created by the atmospheric displacement of Anna Nicole Smith’s breasts.

In the mostly brain deadening land of TV, this show epitomises everything that is bad. To parapharase—I wouldn’t watch that show ever again with borrowed eyes. Or ears. A voice like that should best be used to scare birds from crops. The only redeeming factor is that it`s half-hour during which she alternates between being vapid or being a complete bimbo.

What is it about reality TV that attracts us like vultures to a carcass?

Firstly—reality TV is an oxymoron. There is no reality that requires a person to be followed by a camera with lights; wearing a microphone through their every waking moment. Secondly, are our lives so vacuous that we have nothing better to than sit mindless and watch how other people live?

The ‘un’-reality TV genre has always beeen bad, it’s just been a question of degree. This monstrosity—I can’t bring myself to call it a show —will hopefully put down the genre like the rabid dog it is.

well how wrong i was. not only has it continued, there`s a whole fucking crop unreality shows.

as time goes by, i`ll post more of my contributions to the newspaper industry in trinidad.

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