from the archives

in one of my careers, i watched bad tv [so someone didn`t have to], here is the first thing i wrote for that column, it`s about the much despised anna nicole smith show:

Who greenlighted this humungous steaming pile of faeces—obviously their brains were sucked up in the vacuum created by the atmospheric displacement of Anna Nicole Smith’s breasts.

In the mostly brain deadening land of TV, this show epitomises everything that is bad. To parapharase—I wouldn’t watch that show ever again with borrowed eyes. Or ears. A voice like that should best be used to scare birds from crops. The only redeeming factor is that it`s half-hour during which she alternates between being vapid or being a complete bimbo.

What is it about reality TV that attracts us like vultures to a carcass?

Firstly—reality TV is an oxymoron. There is no reality that requires a person to be followed by a camera with lights; wearing a microphone through their every waking moment. Secondly, are our lives so vacuous that we have nothing better to than sit mindless and watch how other people live?

The ‘un’-reality TV genre has always beeen bad, it’s just been a question of degree. This monstrosity—I can’t bring myself to call it a show —will hopefully put down the genre like the rabid dog it is.

well how wrong i was. not only has it continued, there`s a whole fucking crop unreality shows.

as time goes by, i`ll post more of my contributions to the newspaper industry in trinidad.

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anna nicole smith, television, cable guys