i didn`t always loathe christmas. it wasn`t always a thorn in my flesh. for the first sixteen years of my life, christmas was one of my favourite times of year.
my mother and i would fly from trinidad to jamaica on the first flight after i got my report book at christmas. getting there was always half the adventure. i think on average it would take us between 12 – 14 hours to get from our front door, to my grandparents place. the night of our arrival, i would be exhausted, but spend the evening in my grandfather`s lap [when i was younger] as the adults filled each other in on the year`s events, i would be asleep midway through the gabfest but it always part of the fun to listen to my mother`s jamaican accent reassert itself as she spoke to my grandparents and the cadence of the voices i succumbed to exhaustion.
and i need to get the rest, because the next couple of days were spend in fervent cake preparation. my first official job in the christmas cake preparations was the grinder of fruit. my grandmother believed in soaking her fruits for a year, so we would buy the prunes and raisins and sultans and cherries and i would spend half a morning slicing and grinding the fruits into a large metal tray, next my grandmother would come and add a copious quantity of run and leave it on the sheet of galvanise outside the kitchen window to soak.
then out of the cupboards would come the fruits that i`d ground the year before and the giant pot that all the ingredients were mixed in. as i got older i got to mix the sugar and the eggs and the butter and the flour as my grandmother rinsed her jars and resealed the current years, fruit and alcohol combo therein.
while the batter was being mixed, either my mother or myself would be greasing the pans. most years we would make a minimum of 20 cakes. they were popular. when it came to black cake at christmas, my grandmother was the undisputed champion and not only did we have to take a number back to trinidad with us, there were people who travelled the length and breath of jamaica to get slices of cake and a glass of sorrel at christmas.
my last task in the cake making venture was lighting the oven, just before my bed time i would light the oven and watch as my mother passed pan after pan to my grandmother to put into the oven.
the smell that permeated the house throughout the night and next morning is still my best christmas memory. it was rich, heavenly smell, a combination of hard work, lots of love and the joy of a family tradition.
I know we all have things we`d like to accomplish. What are 2 of your short term goals? What are 2 of your long term goals? How likely do you think it is that your goals will be accomplished?
my two short term goals, uniting my family, this hither, thither and yon, is not working and once we`re together i need to know i can provide for them, we need to able to live wherever we choose, comfortably.
long term goals are pretty simple as well a restaurant/bookshop/imprint with vic and for us to live long enough to see our children succeed.
i just got off the phone with fedex and two other international couriers, apparently i can`t send any food or beverage without a manufacturers code. it`s some requirement from the FDA as part of an increased security protocol.
i love vic and my friends, but this is just fucking ridiculous. i have to unpack the box, find the phone numbers for the companies that i bought stuff from, find someone who actually knows what i`m talking about, get the number or whatever, hope it`s right and then repack and risk it getting turned back because whoever answered the phone three days before christmas just wanted to get rid of me and gave me incorrect information.
hmmmmm, does this sound like a little too much trouble or is it just my lack of christmas spirit showing? whatever the cause, everything is going to stay here until vic gets here.
so on december 21, my christmas shopping officially began. my gift list this year is short. my children, my wife, my mother and the friends that stuck by me this year.
i got trinkets for the girls and my mother at a craft fair this morning, i cruised three different bookstores today looking for a collected LOTR for the girls but was completely unsuccessful, i did however find cookbooks for vic and my friend sam and books for the boy chick and my other girl child [long story].
i`m off to the supermarket, to procure the rest of my gifts. the supermarket you say?
yes, the supermarket. jamaica is the land of blue mountain coffee and hence, that`s what everyone else is getting for christmas, best bought at the supermarket.
today is official one month since i`ve been here in jamaica. and i have no complaints, i like my job, i enjoy getting up in the morning and coming to work, i attend far more meetings than i enjoy, but my contributions are accepted and appreciated. i have three major projects on my desk and i`m thrilled to be able to do them. the first of them is being shown to the client on tuesday.
i`ve grown accustomed to my tiny little apartment. i enjoy cooking and taking lunch to work. i`m pretty settled, i know my way around, i can get where i`m going, i know where my job and apartment are in the greater scheme of things.
i`m happy, well happy might be a stretch. i`m content. but there is an overwhelming feeling of isolation, particularly on weekends. weekdays, i have to go to work so i don`t spend the days staring at the four walls. weekends i find myself with too much time on my hands and too many unhappy thoughts.
it`s not being here that has me unhappy, i was unhappy way before got here, it`s the sense of isolation that`s killing me now. i have one friend from the office, but she had a life before i got here and who am i to impose and i have another friend who tries to make sure i don`t lose my mind by getting me out of the house every weekend. and i`m truly grateful but he also has his own stuff going on.
what it boils down to, is i miss vic and being on my own only makes it more acute. i hate whining about this, but there is only so much tv i can watch and so many distractions before i come back to the point where i just on the bed and cry.
i got an invitation to go out this afternoon to go out and be social and i turned it down. i should stop whining and go out and be social, but i don`t want to, i don`t want to meet new people and make friends. i want my wife, i want vic, i want to wake up next to her. i want to be able to talk her all night if the mood strikes us. i don`t want to be without her any more.
In the day and age of reality T.V. it seems people will do anything for money. But….I wonder about my J.S. buddies. What WOULDN’T you do for a million dollars? ( I understand if this is a long list)
actually my list is so long, it`s easier for me to list what i will do for a million dollars.
work for it. as cheesy as it sounds i think i would be satisfied to know i earned a million dollars, particularly if i was doing what i was good at.
i wouldn`t mind inheriting it.
my moral high ground is pretty much an anthill but it`s got a strong foundation, money is not the be all and end of my existence. it`s an unnecessary evil. i`ve never aspired to be rich, i just want to be comfortable and provide for my family.
at the end of the day, how long will $1,000,000 last and will it really make you happy?
the revised list of words that you can`t say on network tv, ever.
As used in this section, the term `profane`, used with respect to language, includes the words `shit`, `piss`, `fuck`, `cunt`, `asshole`, and the phrases `cock sucker`, `mother fucker`, and `ass hole`, compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).
and the results of the annual new scientist feedback competition.
For this year`s Feedback competition, readers were invited to invent a new scientific word that we need and define it in an appropriately pompous way. more
i`ve really been trying to find that christmas spirit but it continues to elude me. besides the rampant commercialism, the things that irks me most at this time of year are the same shitty pop songs that surface around november and you`re stuck with until december 26, when is that last time you heard some as spectacular as the carol of the bells or an excerpt of handel`s messiah on the radio. right.
and the icicle lights of griswold family proportions. my god, when your house can be seen from the sky on the flight paths to nearby airports you`ve gone to far. scratch that, when your house is the brightest object in the neighbourhood, you`ve gone to far.
you know the houses, when your neighbours plug in there`s a power dip at your house. and then they leave it on all night. good fucking good. through the closed windows and curtains there is a faint glow like sunrise and you can`t quite doze off because you think you have to get up in a hour, but it`s not the sun, it`s the house covered in icicle lights.
ok, i`m a lot calmer now. i just want this holiday to be over.
i got my first salary today. it`s not too shabby, not withstanding the outstanding expenses, it`s actually liveable, i think by march i should be able to start squirrelling away some of it.
until recently jamaica didn`t have much of a middle class, you either had or you didn`t. now that somewhat tenuous middle ground exists, the government in debt up to it`s eyeballs, is taxing everything that can be taxed, it`s a wonder there isn`t a tax on sex.
there is a flat rate on personal income tax but almost everything you purchase attracts a 20% general consumption tax.
i`m going to struggle to make it to the next pay day, but i will have groceries in my house to make until then but i`m puzzled how the people on the lower end of the financial spectrum make it. maybe i`m shopping in the wrong places, but the prices on the basic food groups are pretty steep.
when i started there was a point to this post but i had to leave to go to a meeting and i`ve lost my train of though so i`m going to stop here and come back later and edit or post anew
Have you ever been out and seen the mate of your friend out with another love interest? (I`m speaking of an OBVIOUS encounter…deep kissing or feeling one another up) Do you mind your own business or do you let your friend know you saw their mate cheating? Does it make you less of a friend to keep that info to yourself?
i was in a similar situation this year and at the end of the day, i`ve realised that i probably don`t know all the circumstances and since i don`t like gossip, i`m not going to say anything unless i`m asked directly. then i wont lie. i don`t think it`s my place to say.
i`m not sure if it makes me less of a friend. i`m really torn about the whole thing. do you protect your friend or do you let them hurt and what is your reasoning for either?
