it`s obvious by now that i have tattoos, what`s not immediately obvious is what the mean and their significance.
before i go i have to point out, the most intelligent thing axel rose ever said is, if you want a tattoo, wait two years, if you still want the same thing after that, then get it. whatever you do, you have to live with for the rest of your life.
my very first tattoo was a poorly done free hand mouse on my right bicep, but that has since been covered.
sol, my first real tattoo was the sun that used to dominate my back, it`s 13″ and started in the initial sketch i showed to d [tattoo guy] as fairly simple sun, all the detail and shading was his idea. it was the first of our many episodes in trust.
i had decided on a stellar theme for my ink. my tattoos are going to last my life time, so what i get should reflect the constants in my life.
luna`s primary raison d`etre was to cover the ugly mouse but continuing in a stellar them, d also stuck threw in my astrological symbol into the mix. just below that is my younger daughter`s name in sanskrit.
it`s not in keeping with the stellar them but whatever happens my children will also be mine. i chose sanskrit because it`s one of; if not; the oldest written languages and is still in use to today. i chose it to symbolise the enduring love i have for my children. i may not always show it but it`s there. nothing will change it.
the next tattoo i got was my comet, again the concept was mine but the execution was pure d. i decided i wanted something that wrapped around my arm but was still in keeping with the stellar theme.
after the comet, the whole stellar bodies plan pretty much fell apart, short of starting to tattoo galaxies on my body, i`d pretty much covered the constants it. the ouroboros was designed by d for a project we worked on together but it got cut. i swore it would see the light of day. the ouroboros is a symbol of concepts like completion, totality, the endless round of existence. all of which are major concepts in my life.
aqua, is the pattern from my wedding band, it also represents my love of water and it`s calming effect on me.
and finally there is my back which is this abstract piece which is supposed to be my last major piece of ink, it`s in progress and evolving.
i`m sitting in grantley adams international airport, one of the last three airports i`ll be travelling alone from.
i`m less of the emotional wreck that i was yesterday, i`m still eternally grateful for all the prayers and good wishes and support, moral and physical through the last two years.
by the time this is posted, i will be back in jamaica and have a clearer idea of when i`ll get to leave. i would have tendered my resignation.
there are so many things i need to do in the next day and a half, including ship my books off, thoroughly clean my apartment, disconnect my phone and internet accounts as the lease on my apartment is up on saturday.
i need to do laundry, probably my last on my own. it`s such a relief to know soon, now has a date.
i`m on the plane now and coherent enough to recount my trip to the consular offices, including a number of interesting discoveries. after my visa had been approved and while i was waiting for them to print it and put it in my passport and provide me with the packet i have to present to immigration officials when i arrive in the us, i had a real conversation with the officer.
apparently the overseas offices have always been short staffed and events since september 2001, haven`t made it any better. for the three days i was back and forth at their offices there were three officers on duty, two issuing non-immigrant visas and one dealing with immigrant visas.
the problem specifically in barbados is, they are the consular authority for seven other countries. all applicants from grenada, st. vincent and the grenadines, st. lucia, st. martin and a few other places that i`m not entirely sure of, fall under the aegis of the the bajan embassy and consular services. and this not just about visas, they also deal with american citizen services like passports, births and deaths abroad, that kind of thing.
it`s was interesting to be able to talk to this woman, like a real human being and though i`ve been frustrated and disappointed by them on previous occasions i could empathise. when i got my passport back, it was a little before 2pm, she had been interviewing since 8am, missed lunch dealing with my case and she still had to deal with the family of someone who had drowned in st. martin. i listened to her explain the same thing to a woman at her window at least five times, using the same language and tone of voice. i couldn`t do that job with snapping, it requires a lot of patience and shutting yourself off emotionally.
i guess in my own way, it`s my way of saying thank you to her as well.
i feel very blessed and grateful. there are people that have to be publicly acknowledged, i have to say again huge thank yous to guttaperk and the divagirl for all their help; the shuttling about, the food, the accommodation, the general good time. a very special thank you to sam, without whom this trip would not have happened at all. my mother for supporting me however she could. and my best friend in the world, pig, thank you.
and vic. my love, my love, thank you for sticking with me through all of this. i love you. soon.
Technorati Tags:
immigration, consular offiice, barbados
bear with me, this is going to read like an oscar acceptance speech.
i want to thank the pantheon of deities, the prayers, the sacrificial offerings, the support, the kind words. whatever you offered during the last two years to keep me/us focussed.
thank you all. my friends and family who put up with my whining and panic attacks, those of you who provided monetary contributions, shelter and transportation. a thousand thank yous.
i`m a little overwhelmed right now. so all i can say is thanks to everyone who helped.
i`m heading back to jamaica tomorrow and i`ll update you on the intended schedule.
Technorati Tags:
immigration
you know under other circumstances i might just enjoy this kind of treatment. at least i get to find out how unwell i am.
i`ve started typing this at home, well what i`m call home for the duration of the visit. i`ll probably update while i sit and wait at the dr`s office.
if i remember correctly, there are blood and urine samples to be given, xrays and then a general medical. maybe i can ask about the back pain, i`m paying out the nostrils for this, might as well make it worth the while. actually the back pain has been reduced to dull ache, i have full range of movement once again but the surprise nature and intensity of the pain requires investigation.
so here i sit at the clinic and i`m hearing murmurs that have me vaguely uneasy. the clinic doesn`t do their own blood work and there are at least two people who were here yesterday that have to return tomorrow for their lab results, this does not fill me with great joy, i really can`t afford another day away from my job, especially in light of the bomb i`m about to drop. added to which the lease on my apartment is up on saturday, meaning i have to be packed up, laundered and completely ready to move by friday. i can`t do that if i`m still here. besides i don`t have the wardrobe or the finances and this sitting around staring at the four wall is driving me crazy.
the number of people here to do their medical today is considerably less than when i was here the last time, so i`m hoping that`s in my favour in terms of getting them back on time, there are only four of us, thus far. as i type this, i`ve already peed in the cup and given some of my blood, i still have the xray and the physical. they dr that does the physical just walked in, boding well for an exit before midday.
this is an interesting concept for a journal entry, a live capsule report, well it wont be live by the time you`ve read it but the ability to sit here and type this. there are no starbucks for me to just sit and suck up bandwidth, so i have to rely on the kindness of strangers [said in my best scarlett o`hara, but they`re not really strangers either] to get internet access. the nice thing however is that i have a network setting on the laptop called `whore` which basically lets me plug into any ethernet connection and share in that network connect. the joys of os x and dhcp, ain`t technology grand.
all this time on my hands, has given me an opportunity to do some admin work on the laptop, delete some apps that i haven`t been using, repair my permissions and try to clean up the dupes in my mp3 collection. it`s a work in progress. with close to 25Gb of audio files it`s easy to get side-tracked. and on another tangent, i need to find an app that allows me to write and save journal entries offline. i`m typing this in ijournal, which supports js through the lj protocols, but it doesn`t save my offline entries, so i have to copy them into text edit, just ensure that i have a copy. i`d rather a more finessed solution.
the xrays have started and the first person is in having theirs done, it`s the same doc that does the physical, hmmmm, does this mean i`m going to have to wait for all the xrays to be done first, then the physicals?
nope. different person doing the physical. very nice bedside manner. my blood pressure is high, i`m overweight but two pounds lighter than i was a week ago. i`m not sure how much of the blood pressure is related to this whole exercise but for someone from a hypertensive family, it`s something for me to worry about.
i got jabbed with four needles for my troubles [MMR, Polio, etc vaccination updates] and had to pee with a guy watching me. thank god for PC muscle control.
so, i`m done and a lot poorer for it. i had to pay extra for a vaccination update and a drug test. do the math, $155, $85, $60, all prices quoted in US$.
but it`s over, i go back in the morning to pick up my results and deliver them onto the embassy. i foresee another long morning but that`s it, it`s over and done.
i managed to find and internet cafe where i can use my laptop, which is cool. now i can post this epic, check my mail, do damage control with the office.
Technorati Tags:
immigration, medical
so the day is done and i`m still in barbados sans visa.
it`s approved, but if accepted it today, i would have to be on us soil by midnight tomorrow when my medical expires.
so i`m off in the morning to do my medical. again. meaning i`m going to be here for another three day.
medical in the morning, return to the embassy the following day, fly back to jamaica the day after that.
at which point, i need to hand in my resignation, clean out my current apartment and get the fuck out of dodge.
thank you for all the good wishes, support and prayers. hopefully vic and i will be together march 16, latest.
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immigration
and it being me, i could not have arrive here [barbados for those of you who came in late] without some drama. i left home early got to the airport on time but getting out of the car, as i turned from taking my bag out, i experienced a pain heretofore unheard of. it`s a lancing pain at the base of my spine and if i sit still for too long i have trouble rising again.
i manage to teeter to the check-in desk like some prematurely old man, relying on all the exercises i developed to deal with the pain of getting inked, they worked, just barely. i struggled aboard the plane, sat through most of the flight, pulling myself up when needs be. i`ve figured out the posture that causes me the least pain by now, it`s mostly just hunched over.
but aside from the paroxysms of pain, it`s been quite uneventful, i didn`t get much shit at either the immigration or customs desk and divagirl was outside to meet me, i`m staying at her apt, in the company of her two cats who are sitting next to me as i type this. there`s no phone line, but i have a bed, a shower and a kitchen, i am content.
there have been noises about a soiree tonight, but unless something spectacular happens with my back, i`m not sure how up to that i am.
making great use of the technology at hand, i have a couple books i can get through over the next two days, both text and audio and i have my trust firewire drive ensuring i have a diverse range of music at my fingertips.
sunday afternoon update
i did go out eventually last night, had a blast, got home at some ungodly hour and slept most of the day away, my back still hurts but not as much as yesterday allowing my pain management techniques to actually be more effective.
tomorrow morning i`m off to the embassy, should be fun right?
it`s 6am, still dark outside. i can look up and see the full moon. today i`m not so worried about being up at this hour, i have to do some cleaning up this morning and in about six and a half hours i`ll be boarding a flight to barbados.
i have everything that was requested, so in theory, all i have to do is show up in the embassy on monday morning and that should be the final step, baring getting on a flight to vic, on this epic three year journey.
i`m excited and anxious, but there is a degree of trepidation, i don`t know how we`d deal with one more thing. we have had a lot of support and we feel blessed for and by it.
i know what i want to say but i`m a bundle of emotions and nervous energy, so i can`t seem to get it out in any coherent form.
i don`t know if i`ll get a chance to do update while i`m in barbados, i`ll try, otherwise i`ll just type them up anyway and post when i return.
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immigration
i`m an associate creative director at a mid size advertising agency.
what that means is attend meetings, come up with ideas, work on them and in some cases pass the job on for completion [actually if i can get rid of my controlling and anal retentive nature i can do my job properly and pass it on to be executed].
it`s an interesting job, i get to do some writing, some layout, supervise photgraphy and i was hoping to do some television production but that`s not likely to happen here. the part of my job that`s the most difficult is client relations. i don`t deal well with them, i tend to say very little in meetings.
i`ve come to realise that ad agency/client meetings are just opportunities for the sort of people who like to have meetings to blow hot air up each other`s ass and apparently my sitting quietly and only making salient comments is considered near genius is these circles. i don`t like meetings for two simple reasons, i`m not particularly sociable; glad handing and not speaking my mind are not my strong suits; the other reason is could be doing something productive. meetings very rarely are productive.
ideally, i work best with clear, concise instructions and limited interruptions and stupid questions. i believe if a client has gone to the trouble of hiring an ad agency, they should basically tell them what they want and get to fuck out of the way. don`t contribute. we do know what`s best for you. that`s why you hired us.
the shit that happened yesterday was annoying for one specific reason, primarily, the client knew what we were doing, he`d been kept in the loop, so don`t wait until 6 hours before deadline to make changes.
i like working under pressure, if you don`t give me a deadline, i`m just going to sitting around and dance around the job, i will work on it, but i won`t give it my full attention until i have a defined timeline. and at that point, i`m going to putting my all into it. my other problem is the tiny changes at the end of the job. there will come a point where i`m just irritated by the project, where the very presence of it on my desk is anathema, which is why i need to work on delegating more. that way i can start, pass it on, may suggestions and clean up at the end if i need to.
this is my third creative director gig, the first one was the most challenging, i was completely out of my element, i had no back up or support, i wrote my first scripts there. i edited my first tv commercial. my baptism by fire. i like a challenge.
this business, particularly, the creative side is driven by ego and force of will, i like to think i`ve not been a complete asshole but i doubt that will stand in a court of law. the only place i tend to exhibit alpha male behaviour is where my designs are involved. i`m not averse to constructive criticism, but `i don`t like it` or making changes to prove your power just sends me into a tizzy. that and the dreaded `just`
there a more nuances to my job, like reading account execs and helping them develop a spine so they can sell your ideas to the client but i need to get ready to head in, i may come back to this at some point
Technorati Tags:
advertising
i want to scream. how many weeks after the client saw the original layouts, hours before finished artwork goes down to the paper, he decides that he doesn`t like one of the pictures.
it`s not like it`s the first time he saw the image. he saw the layouts and the photography is faithful to the original layout.
what the fuck is that about?
we`re in the middle of trying to pull together a re-shoot this evening. i am not a happy camper. i have a huge fucking headache. i am so pissed.
we need to find models, the photographer isn`t available until 6:30 this evening and when the shoot is over i have to come back and rebuild the ad. i`m not going to be home before midnight at least.
fuck.
i know it`s been said the older you get, the less sleep you need but fucking hell.
i`ve working thirteen hours a day since sunday, coming home tired going to sleep and getting up at some ridiculous hour. it`s not the falling asleep that is the problem. i go to bed, my head hits the pillow and i`m out like a fucking light, but low and behold at some ridiculous hour prior to my usual waking time of 6:30, i`m wide awake. completely, not a chance of rolling over and going back to sleep.
i`m getting at least 5 hours sleep a night, but i`m sensing my body doesn`t want to put up with this shit much longer, i`m more tired everyday. at least today, i`ve pretty much wrapped up with the project, i sent an email before i left last night for all concerned parties to give the once over.
oh fuck, i just remembered i was supposed to email something to the tv guy. this is why i worry about this lack of sleep when i get this tired, i miss the little detail, how could i forget something as important as elements for the tv commercial.
i`m giving this until next tuesday and then i need to find a doctor.
