Toxic masculinity is going to be the death of a lot of men. There is a whole cesspool of men on the internet selling this idea of what defines a man and it’s all wrong. I grew up in the Caribbean, attended an all boys parochial high school. I took my fair share of abuse because I didn’t conform to traditional gender expectations. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. It took me a while but I realize the whole thing is performative.
Being a man is being comfortable in your own skin. it is recognizing that you are capable of expressing emotions other than anger. it is expressing unbridled joy in the things that make you happy and not the things specified as acceptable for a man. it is the ability to express hurt or sorrow without violence. it is the ability to ask for a help when you need it.none of these things make you less of a man.
it’s fun the two biggest purveyors of ‘masculinity’ seem to have built their entire personas on a fabrication. one has to wonder if they were driven by their own insecurities based on the content they are selling.
treating your emotional, mental, and physical health is not gay. loving and respecting your partner is not gay. and washing your ass is most certainly not gay.
I have noticed a trend in the last half decade, yes it has been more than five years since we entered lockdown due to the pandemic. being locked away on our own has not improved our ability to be self reflective, in fact, based on my experience, it has made us far worse. as a species it feels like we have become more entitled, selfish, and inconsiderate.
one of the examples i see frequently is elevator etiquette. the way i remember it working is you wait slightly out of the path of the door for the people on the elevator to exit and then you get on. more often than not, there people standing in the center of the doorway and then look at you as if you inability to exit is a grand inconvenience for them. in the immortal words of Ludacris, move bitch get out the way. It’s not only elevators, it’s how people behave in restaurants, with customer service reps.
i would have thought being isolated from humanity would have encouraged us to be more appreciative of each other but clearly i was wrong. i am not sure why i am surprised, individually we seem capable of greatness and kindness but as a species, fuck, we are capable of so much shitty behavior.
