i`ve changed the built in dictionary on my machine to us english in order to indoctrinate myself to some extent. i touch type, yes i do. my mother though i should learn a useful skill as i sat around her office in my wayward youth.
so i`m un-learning how to spell. it`s strange to replace all my `s` with `z` and dropping my `u`. the english language is a strange thing. there is a meme, which i obviously can`t put my hand on at the moment, about how difficult the english language is to learn. apparently second only to mandarin.
there are subtle differences in how i speak, the things i say and how i say them. i`ve learned to speak slower to be understood, trinidadians have a reputation for fast talking, not in a schemish way, well that too, but the cadence of our speech makes it almost impossible for outsiders to understand us once we get going.
when i was in fl last time, a friend came to visit and gave me a hard time when i was ordering something at the supermarket. a couple months later when she came home, she was still doing it. not the rent-an-accent that some long-term residents adopt, but a slower, more nuanced pronunciation.
classical english public school system with a caribbean flavor as vic calls it.
i think i`ve mastered the voice, traveling so much in the last four year and ensuring that i`m understood. what i need to reacclimatize myself to is really the written word. in typing this alone, i`ve had to backtrack at least five times. every `s` i change to a `z` and every `u` i drop is making me cringe. i need to get past the cringe factor and for it to feel natural.
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queen’s english, spelling
i`ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. i mean, i`m living in a predominantly caucasian city, married to a caucasian woman with a striking blond boy child in tow. i don`t have any hang-ups about this, but i`m sure a lot of people will.
thus far, there haven`t been any weird looks [or i haven`t noticed any] or any odd comments. which is far more than i can say for vic`s trip to trinidad last year.
why are we still tripping over entry level shit like this? i don`t see the point really. i expect that i`ll run into the same problems i had in florida when i was here three years ago, no one knew what to do with me. black or white.
i don`t look like anyone else, i don`t behave like i`m expected, i don`t sound like anyone else. oh and i`m articulate and intelligent. and vic is not a trophy wife either. there is no box for us, either of us.
i`m not done yet, but i`m not as articulate as i`d like i`d to believe at the moment
sometime later. thank you for the comments, i don`t think this is so much about the state of inter-racial relationships as quantifying `real` for me. i`m proud to be married to victoria. she`s smart and beautiful and talented.
we didn`t set out to be role models for anyone, we found each other because neither of us specified race in our search. and i think that`s crux of what this is about, race has never been a factor for me. i`ve never thought my ideal partner is smart, beautiful, funny and [insert racial profile here]. why should i limit myself? my racial background is a melange of humanity and my children are an even more interesting mix.
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inter-racial marriage, racism
yesterday we were out to dinner and we were referred to as newlyweds. i guess we are in a manner of speaking. tomorrow marks two weeks since i`ve been here. this has been the longest time we`ve been together.
it`s been an amazing two weeks. everything feels natural, from waking up in the morning and getting vic to work to having lunch with her everyday. and i am enjoying the house husband role. the boychick is off with grandparents for the week, it`s spring break, so my duties this week are marginally less.
i am so happy but i`m afraid it will seem like gloating and as a fan a greek mythology i also have this concept of jealous gods smiting happy mortals for flaunting their joy. for now, i`m exactly where i need to be in my life.
i think the honeymoon can last forever. it`s not just about sex, it`s about being comfortable with your partner. the ability to be silly, the ability to be vulnerable, the ability to be yourself. i know we have all of these things and they`re not going anywhere.
1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
i don`t what i was thinking. hollywood, will smith, blockbuster summer? of course it would have absolutely no bearing on the original book.
i think these movies should have a disclaimer, loosely based on the book or short story by the same name. i`ve seen it time and time again, it don`t know why i`m surprised. there have been 5 philip k. dick short story adaptations and one, 20% has been any good.
you have no idea what i`m talking about do you? i love to read, i`m also a big sci-fi fan and i`m truly disappointed when my favorite books and short stories are fucked beyond all recognition by some hack screenwriter. clear? good. let`s get back to philip k. dick.
the five phillip k. dick movies in order of release are:
1. do androids dream of electric sheep, which translated into one of the best movies of all time, bladerunner.
2. we can remember it for you, wholesale, which translated badly into total recall.
3. imposter into another bad movie of the same name
4. minority report, please don`t get me started
5. and most recently paycheck, which was another colossal misrepresentation.
as if that weren`t bad enough, there is, to be released this year, i, robot. a couple of points and maybe you`ll understand my frustration. isaac asimov is credited with the creation of the word robotics. all roboticist design their creations with his three rules [see above] as their foundation and most importantly, almost all of this was defined by the book i, robot. to see all this good work just completely ruined by this piece of hollywood fuckery, just burns me.
and it`s not like people read enough to know the difference, it`s just so fucking sad.
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issac asimov, philip k. dick, screenplays, robotics, i. robot, three laws
i`ve been growing it for 8 years now. and as much shit as i get for it, i like it, it`s part of who i am. my original plan was to cut it after a decade but now i`m not so sure.
i know there are a couple people who would never talk to me again. they were involved in keep my hair neat in the very beginning. dreads are not as no maintenance as they appear it takes a bit of hard work and effort. my hair is thick and doesn`t readily mat, so i have to braid in the new growth into the roots of my existing hair.
when i first started growing my hair my then girlfriend used to do it for me. it took then as it does now four hours. she was old school. plait and braid, by the time she was done with me, my hair was tight [like a tiger] and i had regained a few years. after a while, love or not, she got tired of doing it and suggested i start seeing a professional.
the first professional i went to, was after my hiatus in ny. my hair grows with temperature change and i had about two or three inches of new growth that needed to be tackled. so off i went based on the recommendations of friends. i set up an appointment, the girl looked at my hair and said come for 10 am shouldn`t take more than two hours.
so i did. she put her hand in my hair and said, `oh shit.` that`s the general reaction. most people are surprised by how think my hair is. it took her four hours with help. after that i convinced a friend`s girlfriend to deal with my hair and she did yeoman service for three years until the length defeated her.
in between all of that various people have tried their hands at it. i`m not particularly pick about people touching my hair. as long as they ask or i`ve asked them. but my hair seems to attract all sorts of people. on my first trip to london i was in a bar in camden hanging out with friends, i had just come out of the bathroom and was on my way back to the table when this woman came up to me and started fondling my hair. and the words all people with dreads have learned and loathe, `it`s just so nice i had to touch it.`
i taught her a lesson that night however. i reached out and grabbed a bobbie and squeezed and said `it`s just so nice i had to touch it.` i told her, you don`t like it much do you when i invade your personal space. but then she got another look in her eye and i made quick dash for our table.
on my last trip to london i was sitting on the tube and this woman moves almost all the way up the car so she can sit next to me and out of the corner of my eye i see the hand coming up. i gave her the xiaolin dreadlock hair block. after a while with your hair you learn it to prevent random stroking and fondling.
since i`ve been in nashville, i think i`ve gotten a compliment about my hair every time i`ve been out. i don`t mind people asking questions or asking to touch, i don`t even hold to the superstition that let people touch your dreads will cause them to break. it`s hair, if it breaks it will grow back. i`ve had a few break, one or two close to the root, a couple more where my hair is bleached out, but it`s just hair, it will grow back.
i started growing my hair because i felt the need to assert my individuality. at the time i was young and i felt the need to further distance myself from the corporate drone mindset and that certainly did it. now that i`m older and i see dreads becoming more acceptable in general, i`m glad but i`m not about to cut to be contrary. when i cut my hair, it will be end a period of personal development.
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dreadlocks, hair, personal grooming, dreads
as i put the black pants i`ve been wearing into the current load of laundry, i`m looking around for something to put on. wait i have a closet full of clothes that haven`t been worn since i left naples in june 2001.
open the closet and try on the first pair of pants. ooh the waist fits, it`s not clinging to my hips like a second skin, we`re in business. but wait, they are about an inch above my ankles.
i`m not expecting to flood waters and it`s not like i`m putting on a pair of waders over these pants. it`s so weird, all of them with the exception of the jeans and the pants i`ve just taken off are all too short. not too small, just too short.
off they go into the goodwill bag. and i think some pant shopping on the agenda for this weekend. the problem with that is that i need baggy pants. i`ve got a big ass, there is not polite way to put it. my waist is still in the 38 inch region but i`ve got these big hips and ample posterior, so i end up having to buy 42/44 inch pants, but if they`re cut straight it`s pointless. they bunch up at the crotch and just generally look unsightly.
in other news i think i`m losing weight, i have no way of confirming this however. the first scale i got on went up to 199 lbs and went ERR. but that`s to be expected on a scale that goes up to 200 lbs. the scale here only goes up to 250 lbs and i got on it and i worked out i still weigh over 250. duh. i`m not fascinated enough with my weight to buy a scale outright, i just want to know so i can monitor it on occasion.
well not particularly anyway. well to be more specific not about personal appearance. with my work however it`s a horse of a different color. [is that the analogy? i can never remember and i`d hate to be mixing metaphors, but…]
i think in my line of work 80% of the work you produce is ego driven, if you don`t believe you have the skills then you can`t produce good work. raw talent is good but if you don`t believe in yourself you`re not going to get anywhere.
but i digress. in terms of personal appearance i generally don`t give a rat`s ass. i throw on what`s at hand and what i feel comfortable in. i`ve been told i clean up nicely however and that`s good. i`m as comfortable in pajamas as i am in a sarong or a suit and tie. although i try to avoid the last, well, just because.
again i digress, but not as much as the first time. my true pride and joy in terms of my outward appearance is my skin. i have lovely skin and i suppose having it now is to make for the years spent at various skin specialist as a small child due to various allergic reactions which invariably showed up on said skin.
i heal well, it`s smooth [actually on of the reason my tattoo artist loves working with me. he told me so.] not too dry, not too oily. longer before the term metrosexual was festering in the brain of some marketing nitwit, i was getting facials and choosing carefully the products that go onto my pride and joy.
i don`t wash my face with soap, it`s generally just warm water and the occasional steam, then pat dry will do it just fine and i`m kind of picky about the kind of soaps i use and will since i discovered bodyshop`s body butter that`s about the only thing goes onto my skin directly and well johnson`s baby oil with aloe. i`m picky like that.
what`s the point of all this?
i`m ashy. and it`s pissing me to fuck off, i have never in my life been ashy. i`m pretty much as traumatized as i`m going to be about this. my skin is dry and no amount of body butter is helping. i`m drinking my usually volumes of water, so it`s not a question of lack of moisture. the house is not colder or hotter than i`m accustomed to but my skin is dry and ashy.
what the hell is that about? i supposed i should find more pressing concerns but i don`t have any really, i`m job and apartment hunting and it`s going pretty well. i`m happy, my cold seems to be going away, although now my nose is dry and peeling as well. i guess this gives me something to fixate upon.
but seriously i take care of my skin and i am traumatized by its current condition, what am i to do?
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skin, body butter
this morning found me scraping frost of the windshield of the car. if there has ever been a wake up call for cultural differences, that would be it.
i think i may be enjoying this house husband thing too much. i left the house in my pyjamas this morning. just put on some socks and slip-ons and a jacket scraped the windshield and dropped my charges off. i have a load of laundry going in the washer and then i`m going to take a nap because this cold is kicking my ass.
i want to thank all of you for coming putting up with all my idiosyncrasies, the thoughtful comments and the general support. i`m going to continue to post everyday, well at least try to and hopefully you`ll continue to be entertained.
this post is all over the place today, so i`m going to take the opportunity to answer some questions asked in the comments.
miko:
for the time being we`re a family of three, the girls aren`t here yet. i don`t want to pull them out of school in the middle of the term and i need to get settled first, so we can afford to be a family of five.
magnolia:
the tag line we used was `Every Day Matters.` which was a last minute replacement for `All you need to know` we had all the artwork ready for presentation with `All…` when the copy writer came across it in the paper being used for a bookstore. not fun. you can see the finished product here [it`s at the bottom, you have to scroll down].
the concept behind the campaign is there is something in the paper for you everyday of the week.
time to go put a load in the dryer and another load in the washing machine. domestication is a hell of a thing.
i was driving home from dropping the boy chick off at school when i heard an ad for the local paper, what had me bemused was the closing tag. it`s the same tag line we used in jamaica for the newspaper campaign i did.
it wasn`t plagiarism because before today i`d never heard it, hell before this weekend i didn`t know the tennessean existed. but somehow two people came up with the exact same idea to sell a newspaper.
i haven`t been seriously looking for a job yet. no point really until i have my work authorisation in hand but we did fill out an application form for the apartment that we like. tonight we crunch the numbers and see what we can and cannot live without.
my resume is up to date and i`ve been applying for stuff i see online, but i haven`t started whore myself out yet. you know dropping resume and portfolios hoping for a bite. i`m hoping not to have to resort to that, but we`ll see.
otherwise i`m fighting the flu. yep it took me a week i now have the flu, running nose and hacking cough and all. i`m riding it out, just to make sure i can build up a drug free resistance to whatever strain this is. obviously the paltry version of the flu from the caribbean is no match for these super germs.
we got busted twice this weekend. the joys of a noisy bed and a concerned child. it was hilarious. there was no barging in just a consistent knock on the door and queries as to what was making all that noise.
as i`m typing this i`m still laughing. it`s been like that. we`ve been getting in a rhythm as a family and this is part of it. before last tuesday, our coital activities thus far have been without the presence of anyone underage. we`re learning to acclimatise.
today is my first official day as a house husband, i`m meeting vic for lunch to continue the apartment hunt, then i have to pick up the boy chick after school and then vic after work, in between all this there is laundry to be done and more apartment hunting.
i can`t say much more other than how natural it all seems. i`m comfortable, i`m happy. my work authorisation went off this morning and hopefully i should get my receipt by next week and i can start looking more assiduously for a job.
everyone have been very nice to me, except for that idiot the first day and the dmv and i`m letting that slide. the woman at the insurance office give me a number for a friend of her husband`s who runs a graphic shop. and i have this web development project. all in all things are moving into place.
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DHS, work authorisation, SSN
