i’m not vain

well not particularly anyway. well to be more specific not about personal appearance. with my work however it`s a horse of a different color. [is that the analogy? i can never remember and i`d hate to be mixing metaphors, but…]

i think in my line of work 80% of the work you produce is ego driven, if you don`t believe you have the skills then you can`t produce good work. raw talent is good but if you don`t believe in yourself you`re not going to get anywhere.

but i digress. in terms of personal appearance i generally don`t give a rat`s ass. i throw on what`s at hand and what i feel comfortable in. i`ve been told i clean up nicely however and that`s good. i`m as comfortable in pajamas as i am in a sarong or a suit and tie. although i try to avoid the last, well, just because.

again i digress, but not as much as the first time. my true pride and joy in terms of my outward appearance is my skin. i have lovely skin and i suppose having it now is to make for the years spent at various skin specialist as a small child due to various allergic reactions which invariably showed up on said skin.

i heal well, it`s smooth [actually on of the reason my tattoo artist loves working with me. he told me so.] not too dry, not too oily. longer before the term metrosexual was festering in the brain of some marketing nitwit, i was getting facials and choosing carefully the products that go onto my pride and joy.

i don`t wash my face with soap, it`s generally just warm water and the occasional steam, then pat dry will do it just fine and i`m kind of picky about the kind of soaps i use and will since i discovered bodyshop`s body butter that`s about the only thing goes onto my skin directly and well johnson`s baby oil with aloe. i`m picky like that.

what`s the point of all this?

i`m ashy. and it`s pissing me to fuck off, i have never in my life been ashy. i`m pretty much as traumatized as i`m going to be about this. my skin is dry and no amount of body butter is helping. i`m drinking my usually volumes of water, so it`s not a question of lack of moisture. the house is not colder or hotter than i`m accustomed to but my skin is dry and ashy.

what the hell is that about? i supposed i should find more pressing concerns but i don`t have any really, i`m job and apartment hunting and it`s going pretty well. i`m happy, my cold seems to be going away, although now my nose is dry and peeling as well. i guess this gives me something to fixate upon.

but seriously i take care of my skin and i am traumatized by its current condition, what am i to do?

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skin, body butter