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bus to beelzebub

January 26, 2005 — Leave a comment

i have a couple of thoughts on sex and religion running through my head and i`ve been trying to assemble them into something coherent all morning. i suppose the best place to start would be with my religious background.

my mother was a Methodist, not sure if that`s United or otherwise. at the time of my birth Trinidad was predominately Catholic and the best opportunities for school were at the parochial schools so my mother hedged her bets and had me baptised twice, once as a Methodist and once as a Catholic. Every weekend until i abandoned organised religion as a teen, i would go to mass on a Saturday night and to church with my mother on a Sunday morning.

i was as conscientious in church as i was in school, learned my catechism, learned all the bible stories, even at some point read the entire King James version of the bible for own edification and with everything else i`ve read it stuck. i made my First Communion at nine; which was early in those days; and became an altar boy soon after. i also managed to keep my saucy young ass out of the reach of errant priests until near adulthood and even then, that was my parish priest as opposed to any of those that interacted with on a daily basis. at age 14, i even seriously pondered joining the priesthood.

what`s the point of all this? i grew up in churches, literally and figuratively. i`m not unfamiliar with religion; specifically Christianity. and when i began questioning Christianity, i researched other religions as only a Type A personality can. and there is one fundamental similarity throughout; at some point, the karma; the basic ideals and principles thereof; gets superseded by the dogma. Judaism, Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, almost any religion you can name, all the fundamental beliefs are good and then somewhere along the line, it becomes politicised and the entire thing become corrupted.

i could go into a short history of the bible here, but it would be anything but short and start too many other tangents, so i`ll soldier on. with all this strong religious grounding i didn`t have any hang ups about sex, i have my mother to thank for that too. she taught me it was natural and tried to provide me with as much factual information as she could.

i`ve said this before and i`ll say it again, what two consenting adults chose to do in the privacy of their own homes is their own damn business. as for the sanctity of marriage, the institution as we know it is only 600 years old, because before that the church refused to sanctify marriages because the act of procreation was sinful. funny how the dogma changes but the basic principle of Christianity hasn`t changed; Love one another, as I have loved you; unconditional love.

people`s generosity still surprises me. that`s a good thing, i tend to be cynical about people`s motivations but JS has taught me a lesson or three.

since i`ve been here, the outpouring of support has been phenomenal. i`ve made new friends, in the last three months, a kind and generous soul paid for my new laptop drive and another kind and and generous soul gave me an old ipod. it`s not just JS members either, earlier this week i received a book in the mail from a reader who enjoyed what i`d written. i leafed through the book when i got it, but i`m going to read and review it this weekend.

i just wanted to take the opportunity to say thank you. for generosity, for your support, for simply taking the time to read my ramblings.

three years ago today, vic and i got married in Barbados and finally this is our first anniversary together.

there are no special plans; today at least; i`m at work and vic is working tonight, but we`ve got reservations for dinner on Friday. i think we`re still sort of in awe of being able to celebrate another milestone.

so many things have changed in the last three years but the fundamentals remain the same. i have so much i want to say about this anniversary but i can`t form the words. the simplest summation is; i`m deliriously happy. i am happier than i have ever been as an adult and i feel truly blessed.

this isn`t a fairy tale, it`s isn`t happily ever after, we have our disagreements, we have our moods, but we have our ups and downs but they are ours together; and after all we`ve been through that`s all right too.

this weekend will be the first time in almost year that i will spend more than one night away from vic. i`m going to SF for MacWorld from Saturday to Wednesday. we were planning on both going and celebrating our first anniversary together in SF but finances don`t permit. we`re doing our celebrating on the Friday after our anniversary by treating ourselves to dinner at Zola. it`s going to put a dent in our budget this month, but this is our first anniversary in three years together and well worth it.

i`m still however looking forward to going to SF, i`ve never been to the west coast, so it`s all part of the grand adventure, i realise that i`ll only have Sunday to do exploring and i already have a specific list of stuff to bring back for vic; you can`t be in love with a geek; of any sort; without some of it rubbing off on you. i also must make a pilgrimage to the Good Vibrations store.

Monday will be filled with getting my badge holder and checking out some of the pre-exhibit conferences. Tuesday is all about the keynote, which i intend to be posting live from. based on previous experience, i`ll have to get there early to get a seat even in the press area. and due to work constraints i return to Nashvegas on Wednesday, where i have to go straight into work.

i`ve been gathering my thoughts after the hectic few days that have been this Christmas. firstly, up until Thursday morning, i`d never driven on snow or ice, granted it was measured in inches and not in feet like other parts of the US, it was new to me. our street is one of those lovely tree lined ones your read about in the descriptions of suburbia, what they don`t tell you is that the shaded part prevents the snow and ice from melting fast enough when the sun does come out, so by the end of the day your thaw has re-frozen in to a dangerous ice slick.

the boychick was at his grandmother`s all of last week and it was our intention to drive there on Christmas eve after vic escaped from retail hell, but part of the drive from Nashville to Kingston, TN involves going over the plateau which is dangerous enough in its own right without adding night and ice to the mixture. realising we would also be trapped in our house if we stayed we crashed at a friend`s for the night. i have to say it was one of the nicest Christmas eves of my adult life and quite possibly the start of a new tradition; zombie flicks on Christmas eve. a side note, if you haven`t seen Shaun of the Dead, do, it is hysterically funny, without being excessively gory or campy.

on Saturday morning we made our way to the boychick, my mother in law and other family members for breakfast and exchange of gifts. i now have a large stack of books at my bedside to keep my company including from my wife; Watchmen and a couple Sin City books, George Carlin`s new opus from which i drew the title of this post. Eats, Shoots and Leaves, an autographed first edition of the new John Grisham, Irivine Welsh`s Porno and the new Dean Koontz. in other words i scored. vic also got me the coolest plates from Restoration Hardware which was completely unexpected.

We came back yesterday and had our own Boxing Day celebratory open house  and some much needed rest before i headed back out to work this morning. there isn`t much of anything to do today, so i send my machine in to be serviced. after five calls to apple care and no solution, we; apple care and myself; are theorising i have a serious hardware problem. i`m moved in the office of the most recently departed graphic artist for the time being. this part of the building isn`t served by central heat, but i`m not bothered by the cold enough to go get and turn on the space heater.

Whatever you`re celebrating or not celebrating this year, I wish you all the best. I hope your holidays are filled with love and joy. This year is a new experience for me, the first with my new family and the first without my family. I hope to be able to combine at least part of the two in time for next year`s festivities. This has been a year of big changes for me and I`d like to express my gratitude for the support you`ve given me; morally, spiritually, financially; thank you.

May your holiday season and the new year be blessed, full of love and prosperity.

Divali, Eid, Chanukah, Yule, Christmas, Kwanza, New Year`s Greeting to you.

Be safe this holiday weekend.

soy un perdidor

December 22, 2004 — Leave a comment

i think the insurance scenario may be sorted, i called the company that we have our life, car and renters` insurance with and they gave me some good advice. apparently when you purchase family insurance, there is the assumption that there will be addition children and your rates are padded to account for the possibility of pregnancy. vic and i decided that we`d done enough for the planet`s population so there are no more children in our future, so we`re getting individual policies for her and the boychick; with the same deductible as i have in the office but no vision; for about 75% of what it was going to cost me if i kept them on the plan. i have to say i`m really pleased with that. the difference in take home now that it`s just me will cover the added premiums without making us destitute.

we`ve had a cold snap over the last few days including some scheduled snow flurries; although flurries would be a generous description for the three flakes of snow i saw yesterday. not that i`m complaining.

i like cold; which is sort of odd for a 6` 2″ dreadlocked Caribbean born and raised man. the overnight low temperature in Nashvegas last night was 14°F (-10°C), which in comparison to some places in the US is a bright and sunny day; but i`m not too thrilled about snow. primarily because i don`t know how to drive in it and if the driving abilities of people in Nashville in the rain are any indication, i don`t want to be sharing the road with them. there is a rumour that there are three snowplows in the entire state because of the rarity of heavy snow fall here.

even with my love for the cold i`m not stupid, i`ve got a light coat and a heavy coat, although the heavy coat hasn`t gotten any use yet. i`ve been pulling out the turtlenecks and long sleeved shirts and tee that languished in the back of my closet year after year.

we`re a Jimmy Carter household; old joke, during the Carter presidency at the height of the energy crisis Carter recommended that Americans use less heat and wear more sweaters at home. we`re on a staggered payment plan for the heat, but we`d rather not have any massive overages in the spring, so although the heat on it`s not going past 65, if we`re really cold, we`ll pull out a blanket or put on a sweater.

Sophie’s Choice

December 16, 2004 — Leave a comment

in the four years i was living in Trinidad, actually for the three years preceding that as well, i had no health insurance. i was a freelance contractor in most cases or my full time employer didn`t offer health care benefits. but it was ok, because in that tiny little twin island republic, we had socialised medicine. yes, there were excessive waiting periods and sometimes you had to go somewhere else to get prescribed medication, but it was available, you had a choice.

now i have this job and i have to have health insurance and as of January it`s going to be Sophie`s choice, coverage for me and my family or rent. a combination of a 21% increase by the healthcare provider plus a 15% cut on the amount my employer pays equals a 30% cut in my pay cheque. a friend asked if it was low pay or high insurance costs and i think it`s a combination of the two. continuing to do the math, i`ve realised that were it not for my employer contributions, all of my salary would be spent on paying to make sure, vic, the boy chick and myself had some kind of coverage.

there is no hope for a raise, so now i`m trying to find cheaper alternatives for coverage for my family. my immediate option is getting everyone checked up while we still have coverage, then dropping the family portion of the plan for major medical, because what`s the point of having health insurance if we don`t have somewhere to live.

snap, crackle, pop

December 15, 2004 — Leave a comment

i got a little perspective on my loathing of the mall and it`s patrons this morning as i was dropping vic to work; we`re a one car household, i`ll touch on that later; i only have to be there twice a day, once early in the morning before i go into work, when it`s mostly patron free except for the people who enjoy the smell of mall in the morning and late at night, again when it`s pretty much patron free. vic spends 14 glorious hours a day there, 12 of which are spent with people who generally have more money that good sense.

i am not a people person, i tend to expect the worse of people in most cases and more so at this time of year. i should try to be more charitable especially considering how nice people have been to me all year, but cynicism is ingrained in me. i`m incredibly proud of vic and honoured to be her spouse, she has tempered me, because she is one of those genuinely nice people. i don`t think i could ever begin to fathom working retail, i don`t have the temperance for it, i can barely deal with client meetings.

the other part of my perspective was as much as i hate the mall, it`s a source of income, we`re not destitute, but we`re living on what we make. no credit cards, just an incredibly tight budget, that just got more interesting this very moment. i`m covered by my office`s health insurance plan and they just cut back on their contribution. looks like 2005 is going to be a doozy.

well that just took the wind out of my sails, i`ll finish this up later.