perfectionist with a god complex
My younger daughter is currently attending the Pearson College of the United World College. Every year they put on a show called One World, this year she performs a poem in the first part and then choreographs the closing number. How could I not post it?
httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWLzOvCghe8
One World 2012 (Full Show Part 1)
httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9w8UHMYKKA
One World 2012 (Full Show Part 2)
i am the master of finding cheap fares; for other people. i`ve done it for my mother in law, i`ve done it for friends. i can find that really cheap ticket with the minimum of fuss. somehow i can never do the same for myself.
i`m trying to get my daughters here for the summer and currently the cheapest fare i can find is in the $800 each, to get them to Nashvegas and that doesn`t include the surcharge for children travelling alone.
i miss the girls and i want to see them, but there is no way i can afford that and conversely flying to Trinidad will cost even more, because even though the fares are marginally cheaper, we would need to fly all three of us, plus accommodation and transport while we`re there. plus all the `cheap` fares i`m finding require us to be gone from anywhere between three to five weeks. neither of which we can afford either.
my job situation is still iffy. i`m on probation for a month, which can be extended at my boss` discretion and i`m firmly of the belief that the nanosecond she finds someone or our busy season ends, i`m out the door. i`ve got feelers out but no nibbles yet.
i hate being fucking broke and stressing about money.
i`ve been catching snippets of the Jackson trail every now and again, i`m not really that interested, but i`m getting inundated with them whether i want to or not and it`s given me enough to form one solid opinion.
whether or not he is found guilty, they need to send the parents of the child(ren) he is purported to have molested straight to jail. i`m sorry, i don`t care what kind of childhood issues Jackson had, this is not the first time these accusations have come up and for you to voluntarily send your children unaccompanied to the house of an adult once accused of inappropriate conduct with a child is a criminal act.
i`m not speaking legally, i`m speaking as a parent. what do you have to be thinking to voluntarily send your child to hang out with a 40-something old man, unsupervised. most normal parents wont send their child to spend time at their friends` houses, unless they meet and approve of the parents and even then there is a degree of worry, because this person isn`t you, much less to the home an adult man. what were these people thinking?
is it possible to become so star-struck that all good sense flees? or is it greed; are people are willing to sacrifice their child`s innocence for the possibility of the big pay off?
yesterday the boychick came home with an assignment that required him to discuss with his family reasons that people would be unhappy with the government.
after laughing hysterically on the couch for a couple of minutes, i tried honestly to have a discussion with him. actually i didn`t but vic vetoed my first title for his essay; Ignorance is Strength, War is Peace, Knowledge is Slavery, she also vetoed my second suggestion; Trust no one; but i decided i`d use that today.
i found it interesting that even at age 9, the boychick had learned how useful self censorship is already, i wish he could teach me. i tend to say what i think regardless of the consequences. it was also kind of sad that the first thing i told him after i`d finished laughing that was that governments couldn`t be trusted.
i`ve come to realise that no matter how noble the intentions, there are two inherent problems with governments; they are massive bureaucracies and to get into power in a `democratic` society requires compromise. i put democratic in quotes because there are no true democracies, as much as we`d like to believe it, the voice of the people means squat. to get elected requires lots of money and since campaign contributors are not giving money for altruistic reasons, they want to see a return on their investment. so at the end of the day our elected officials are not beholden to the voters, but to the campaign contributors. and the problem with bureaucracies is once they get entrenched they are almost impossible to implement change. on the surface it looks like things are being changed but on a day to day basis, it`s business as usual, because the people entrenched therein know governments and policies will change but their jobs are pretty much guaranteed.
sometime in the near future i have to have a version of the `TALK` with the boychick. i don`t know if it`s the implied caps or just nerves but the though fills me with dread. i have all the information at my disposal, what i`m worried about is how much is enough or how much is too much and am i going to warp him in some way. well not warp him so much open him up to all manner of ridicule and abuse by his peers or even worse; an ignorant teacher.
i think it would be safe to say, vic and i are liberally bent when it comes to sexuality but in these times that may not be a positive and how do i go about passing this information on to a brilliant eight going on twenty eight year old with the minimal amount of discomfort for us both. i tend to treat children like small adults and they tend to react well to that; which is why i`m always surprised when one of them behaves their age, i never know how to deal well with whining and pouting and crying and tantrums; the flip side to that coin is making information accessible to them.
i`ve been lucky with my children, they`re bright, well read and have ever expanding vocabularies but talking about sexuality still fills me with dread. my daughters have decided they don`t want to have these discussions with me and the boychick has decided he doesn`t want to have it with vic.
it was just my mother and i and she decided to educate me just i was about to enter high school; in the British school system, that`s 11. she sat me down told me about procreation, refreshed my memory of what`s different on men`s and women`s bodies and provided access to Man`s body and Woman`s body and number of other books on sexuality that were in the household library and that was it. i didn`t turn out too badly, i think. there are still things i learned as i grew older and there still things i learn everyday.
how do i condense and edit 20 odd years of knowledge into something comprehensible and useful for a young man? i want to explain the value of sexuality, but how do i do that without being moralistic and in light of fact that sexuality has become a commodity? does he need to know about safety now? i have all these questions. sigh. parenting is never easy.
yesterday was packed to the gills with all the fun shit that makes life so enjoyable and interesting.
the birthday lunch for my younger daughter went off fairly hitchless, my older daughter was here as well and a good time was had by all. sometime in between all of this i found time to finish the cover for the annual report, attempt to deliver it to the client, come back home, wash my hair get dressed and be very late for the media excellence awards.
my date for the evening was the always lovely karen (who i must say looked stunning) and i think we made quite the impression, got there late, but then made the rounds hilton poolside for the free food and drink. we weren’t sure if it was me in the sarong and red shirt or the small muscular indian woman in the hot dress by my side or the combination of the two.
we left the media awards around 11, wandering sort of aimlessly, well not entirely, planning to swing by after dark to see who was about and show off karen in her hot femme duds, she was just too hot, we left a little after 4am.
which brings us up to speed, i’m working on corrections to the annual report, i’ve had 3 1/2 hours sleep and now i have a shitload of corrections to do. joy.
i’ll be back.
god, i love it. i spent most of today at my tattoo aritist we worked out what my last piece is going to be.
yes, this the final major work, i’m doing, after this the names of any future children, that’s it.
so he started, a lot of it is on my shoulder blades and my spine, i am in so much fucking pain right now. i’m going back on wednesday to do some more, this is going to be done in stages over the next couple of weeks. yes it’s that big, pictures will follow as each section is completed.
anyway my daughter is waiting, i’ll be back with more details later.