parenting 101

July 13, 2004 — Leave a comment

sometime in the near future i have to have a version of the `TALK` with the boychick. i don`t know if it`s the implied caps or just nerves but the though fills me with dread. i have all the information at my disposal, what i`m worried about is how much is enough or how much is too much and am i going to warp him in some way. well not warp him so much open him up to all manner of ridicule and abuse by his peers or even worse; an ignorant teacher.

i think it would be safe to say, vic and i are liberally bent when it comes to sexuality but in these times that may not be a positive and how do i go about passing this information on to a brilliant eight going on twenty eight year old with the minimal amount of discomfort for us both. i tend to treat children like small adults and they tend to react well to that; which is why i`m always surprised when one of them behaves their age, i never know how to deal well with whining and pouting and crying and tantrums; the flip side to that coin is making information accessible to them.

i`ve been lucky with my children, they`re bright, well read and have ever expanding vocabularies but talking about sexuality still fills me with dread. my daughters have decided they don`t want to have these discussions with me and the boychick has decided he doesn`t want to have it with vic.

it was just my mother and i and she decided to educate me just i was about to enter high school; in the British school system, that`s 11. she sat me down told me about procreation, refreshed my memory of what`s different on men`s and women`s bodies and provided access to Man`s body and Woman`s body and number of other books on sexuality that were in the household library and that was it. i didn`t turn out too badly, i think. there are still things i learned as i grew older and there still things i learn everyday.

how do i condense and edit 20 odd years of knowledge into something comprehensible and useful for a young man? i want to explain the value of sexuality, but how do i do that without being moralistic and in light of fact that sexuality has become a commodity? does he need to know about safety now? i have all these questions. sigh. parenting is never easy.

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