Archives For sexuality

it’s only kinky the first time

March 22, 2004 — Leave a comment

i love sex and luckily i`ve found someone i love having sex with. i`ve realised from my reading there seems to be a lot of miscommunication about sex and sexuality.

i`m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination but would open intercourse lead to better intercourse? sex with vic is for the most part intuitive. we know what we want and we respond to each other but that doesn`t mean we don`t like to give or take instruction.

very early on, when sex was but a germ of an idea in our lascivious minds, we discussed what we did and didn`t like, what was never going to happen and the discussions haven`t stopped. there are still lines that wont be crossed but there have been some interesting and exciting developments.

it`s amazing but each and every time has been better. we`ve just gotten more and more comfortable and in tune with each other. the other crucial factor is trust, sexuality is a partnership, in more ways than one and you need to trust you partner.

once that`s established there is nothing that isn`t possible. fantasies and desires can become reality if the both of you are comfortable with it. if it`s only going to be fun for one of you don`t abuse the trust by harping on it. if it`s outside either of your absolutes it`s not even worth broaching and bringing it up is going to lead to some sense of betrayal. otherwise give it a try, after all, it`s only kinky the first time

In love, lust, longing, sexuality
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a carnival story [or seven days without sleep makes one week]

February 22, 2004 — Leave a comment

scrapped.

i reread what i`d written about 5 times and i wasn`t at all happy with it. there was no way to tell the tale of that carnival without including all the sordid details.

carnival is an interesting time in trinidad. all the wining and the semi-naked bodies may seem sexual but up until fairly recently it wasn`t. a wine was a wine and at the end of the night you said your farewells and went on your way. it wasn`t assumed because someone wined with you that there was going to be sexual congress.

things have changed a great deal in the last six years, the behaviour is more lascivious and wanton. and that`s kind of scary, the innocence of carnival, per se, as with almost everything in day to day trini life seem to be drifting away.

i can`t say i`ve heard much of the music this year, so i`m in no position to judge. the thing i`m missing most about this carnival is j`ouvert. the official beginning of the two days of revelry.

i`ve been involved in various aspects of carnival, from building costumes to playing mas on the two days, to documenting the spectacle. i don`t miss the two days much but j`ouvert has an energy and feel to it that surmises the whole season for me.

in 2002, when i was working at the newspaper i was rostered to work carnival monday morning. i told them i would come in, but i was coming straight from j`ouvert. they thought i was joking.



i wasn`t, that`s been my condition every j`ouvert morning since 1993. the colours may have changed by not much else. i worked my shift then went home, had a shower and slept right through until tuesday.

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In personal, sexuality
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prostitution should be legal

January 27, 2004 — Leave a comment

i`m serious.

prostitution should be legal and taxed. george carlin summed it up best, “fucking is legal, selling is legal, why shouldn`t selling fucking be legal?”

seriously, i think it would help on various levels. in an ideal society, you`d have to be of legal age, get registered, get tested regularly, display your certificates, a simple supply and demand situation.

with the age verification and registration it should help keep anyone underage out of the business. it`s not necessarily going to stop some sexual offenders, but in the case of violent clients, it can be reported and anyone still found trading sex slaves and paying for sex with children, can be lost in the deepest darkest dungeon.

i`m still processing this on a purely emotional level, i suppose it would require some investigation, but i think it`s a viable idea.

we need to start with education however. there are too many hang ups about sexuality.

we need to start with our children, i`m not saying teach them the karma sutra, but we have to get to recognise their bodies without shame or stigma, none of the pee pee and na na, bullshit. teach them about their bodies, how to identify it and what an appropriate touch is.

as they grow older teach about the choices, abstinence is an ideal, but we were all teenagers once, so it would better to equip the with all the facts and try to stop burdening them with guilt.

we need to put aside our own hang ups as well, the systems we have in place now are not working, can it really hurt to try something else?

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In opinions, sexuality
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let’s talk about sex

December 5, 2003 — Leave a comment

it`s been on my mind all week and my body hasn`t been backward in making its needs be known. [official kitty count from sunday to today: 36]

i`ve been thinking a lot about how i got to this point and what drives me sexually.

growing up i know my mother had boyfriends, but i think there was a point where she may have believed she was setting a bad example so she stopped or at least i was no longer aware of them.

but sex was never a mystery for me, my mother was open and upfront about it and there were a couple books around the house and they were never hidden away and for a period of time, i pored over those books, learning everything i could. between man`s body, woman`s body, then sensuous woman and some other 70`s sex tome whose name escapes me at the moment, i learned the joys of my body, solo. i think those books helped shape me sexual.

i`m comfortable in my sexuality, the things i haven`t done are pretty much in the not interested column and even then i don`t think i`m in a position to judge, except for pedophiles. any motherfucker that puts their hand on my children, will die by my hand.

anything two consenting adults chose to do [primarily in the privacy of their own household] is fine by me.

i have a theory [told you, i have a lot of these things, too much time on my hands i guess] that there are three stages to natural sexual development:

solo; experimenting and learning about self, same sex; experimenting and giving pleasure to a body you`re familiar with and then finally the opposite sex. a lot of people skip a step, more power to them. i`ve experienced all three steps, not necessarily in the order i explained and i`ve learned a couple of things which i carry with me still.

1. learn what does it for you and share it with your partner, sex isn`t supposed to be a guessing game.

2. you are what you eat, how you taste men and women is dictated by what you consume [do the research, i did]

3. no means hell no, maybe means no and yes can still mean no. even if you`re both naked on the bed in flagrante delecto and they say stop, you fucking well stop.

4. forcing someone`s head up and down during  a blowjob, never polite, no matter how many movies you saw it in. it`s impolite and uncomfortable.

5. sex is supposed to be fun. it`s nothing to be ashamed of and it`s not a competition. enjoy it.

6. communication. it`s the most important part of any sexual relationship. even before the clothes come off.

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bad man nah and other observations about jamaica.

November 28, 2003 — Leave a comment

today marked one week since i`ve been in jamaica, well 8 days.

and i must say it has been productive, i have an apartment, groceries, cable, a bank account, a mobile phone; still waiting on them to install my home phone; and as of today a tax number, which here makes me officially a person.

i can understand what is being said to me, sometimes with a bit of concentration, most times i pick it up on the first go round, i can`t pick out individual voices at the office but i`m sure that will come eventually.

so all in all, i`m settled, i`m about as happy as i`m going to get here on my own. now for the but and it`s a show stopper. the rampant and readily accepted homophobia. in polite society, showing `tendencies` can get you ostracised, in not so polite society it can mean your death.

which brings me to the first point, there is no middle ground with the masses, either you`re a `bad man` or you`re `chi chi`.

among the things bad men don`t do:

[according to the song]

bleach face, wear drop curls, wash with baby mother underwear

[on a more personal note]

wear sarongs, giggle, go down

there are more and as the days go by my creative director and i joke about the additions to the list.

it`s sad. i mean trinidad wasn`t the paragon of gay rights but most of the time it wouldn`t get you killed. i suppose this too shall pass.

in other news my computer ie the machine that was bought by the office for me to use arrived today and just in time too. the hard drive with my mp3 appeared to be failing and i just managed to copy most of it off. i know i`ve lost some stuff, but i just not sure what yet. it`s not much probably about 1Gb but i`m grateful i still have most of it left.

one more thing, i`d already posted when i recalled this observation. jamaica is home to largest [in both size, shape and variety] collection of bottoms. my god, everyday i go out and there is another stunner, it`s not a matter of not looking there are just there. it is a wonder to behold and at last i know where my genetic inheritance comes from.

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this post brought to you by the letters ‘J’, ‘K’, ‘N’ and ‘N’

August 1, 2003 — Leave a comment

i went to the movies last night with j, who i hadn’t hung out with for a while, she’s always fun and good to shit talk with. we went to see LXG and Bad Boys 2. LXG was entertaining. not great, just entertaining, there were some bright spots and seeing it in a theatre full of illiterates didn’t help. there were a couple of  literary in jokes but for the most part it went whooshing over the heads of the masses. however Bad Boys 2 was completely and utter dreck, it seemed forced and uncomfortable and turning into a propaganda film in the last 20 minutes just completely ruined it for me [the masses on the other hand, just completely ate it up], which leads me to believe, i’m too old for mass consumption fare anymore, but i’ll see the trailers and get sucked again and again.

anyway, after the movies [1am, mind you] i dragged j to afterdark. to hang out for a bit with the usual suspects. K leaves in less than 2 weeks, it was after dark’s last night and i owed my 6000th visitor a drink what other reasons did i need to trek off to AD?

i got there, it was hot and packed. j ran into a bunch of people she knew and i saw everyone i came to look for. the low point of the nights events is the sleazy man that tried to pick me up. oh ‘i’m the hottest man there’ [maybe i was, because the a/c was perpetually broke] and he’s bi, his girlfriend is away, his exes are there, blah, blah, blah, blah. and the fucking grabby hands, i don’t mind dancing, i can’t expect to go to AD and not have a man dance with me, but motherfucker, keep your hands to yourself. not under my shirt, not on my ass [well there are conditions and you dancing behind me and trying to cop a feel is not cool] , no crotch grabbing. which brings me to a couple other points, if i want to know what you had in your pants, i’d ask, i have no interest in feeling your tiny semihard dick on my ass, i have no interest in putting my hands on your tiny dick and i most certainly don’t want you copping a feel of my goods. how many times must i move your hands before you get the hint. [thank you, thank you, thank you N, for saving me from that sleazy fucker]

phew needed to get that off my chest.

we left shortly after, i got tired of wondering if sleazy boy would be back and it was after 3am and i was tired. not sure what we’re up to tonight but the rain has started pouring and i think it’s a good plan for me to crawl back into bed.

i’ll be back later. ciao.

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i’m so excited

July 17, 2003 — Leave a comment

and i just can`t help it

i`m about to lose control

and i think i like it.

[free coupon for the first person to identify the title and artist of that little ditty]

ijournal and js is broke [oh mighty tiro, please fix], so i`m posting from js itself it seems so weird after all this time. i had what passes for a full night`s sleep and here i am – up and awake. vic is here in just over 36 hours as of typing this. i feel good, i`m relaxed, i`m a little nervous but it`s a good nervous energy. i`m sitting here with the broadest smile on my face, all a twitter, my heart is racing. i want today and tomorrow to race by quickly, so i can have my love in my arms once more. happy sigh.

and now the news; again keifel`s ministry of truth is only including funny, positive links

Metallica Sue Canadian Band over E, F Chord [proof positive that drugs will destroy your brain]

everytime you masturbate…

you save your prostate

the guardian`s guide to rude words [contains some interesting links, especially for people like me who like to use the full gammut of the language]

judge throws the book at defendant [literally]

strangely, it wasn`t in one of america`s most literate cities

some quick notes [it`s the journalist in me, you have to take the good with the bad]:

aol kills netscape

queen of salsa dies

there is no pretty little segue into the rest of today`s links so i`ll just get on with it.

nerve has a heap of new stuff up, new fiction, new poetry, more on female ejaculation, em & lo`s tour blog, go. go check it out.

Clitourist — a travel guide for little men in boats [you can never have too much knowledge]

uk launches national foreplay day [although i question the choice of spokesperson, can anyone with that much plastic/silicone be turned on traditional means?]

and remember that the following day is national orgasm day

i support both of these causes and shall be working fervently over the next ten days on them both.

and that`s a wrap. i should get ready for work, i need to make sure all the loose ends are tied up in the office. i`ll be back later

In links, love, lust, longing, sexuality
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in honour of the last 10 months

July 15, 2003 — Leave a comment

vic found this [while doing some research for her own list] and i thought it was too great not to post

THE [30] GREATEST SELF LOVE  SONGS OF ALL TIME:

1. THE DIVINYLS – I Touch Myself

2. BLOODHOUND GANG – Fire Water Burn

3. BILLY IDOL – Dancing With Myself

4. VIOLENT FEMMES – Blister In The Sun

5. WEEN – Mister Richard Smoker

6. POLICE – Be My Girl (Sally)

7. BLINK 182 – M & M’s

8. SKYHOOKS – Smut

9. FAITH NO MORE – Jizzlobber

10. PRINCE – Darling Nikki  

the rest of the list [including honorary mentions]

i’ll be back later, when i’m not as pressed for time. ciao.

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In memes, sexuality
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today’s pride link

July 4, 2003 — Leave a comment

another in the day’s post-o-rama. quite possibly the last, i have to make a trip out of my house. sigh

On Pranks, Supremes Debating Sodomy, the Invisible Middle and “Gay Sex”

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today’s flavour is…

June 21, 2003 — Leave a comment

just got out of the shower. have a very long and refreshing shower – body shop grapefruit & lime body wash is divine. i also washed my hair, funny thing in the middle of the wash, rinse, repeat cycle i realised i’d washed my hair last weekend. well, i want to get it neatened this week anyway.
the personal grooming has begun, vic is 27 days away, i’ve already begun the dietary changes. well not changes per say, just a more careful monitoring of what ingest. less dairy, red meat, more fruit, particularly citrus and water. if you don’t what i’m talking about check here (i know i posted this already, but not everyone follows the links) and here. it’s a regular ritual, one which we’ve both found quite successful.
i’m sitting around in my boxers, with my wet hair on my back watching hackers (i’m a sucker for this movie, i’m not sure what i like more the faux-geek speak, the classic apple computers or the very butch angelina jolie) as soon as it’s done, i’m heading off to be a mac god for someone with a 15” lamp imac, it may be the ticket to get my copy of potter this afternoon.
ok, i’m starting to dry off in this heat, time to complete the ritual, no shower/bath is complete without body butter. today’s flavour is…

so many choices…

i chose…

MANGO.

i’m out, off to work for my hp. adieu.

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In entertainment, love, lust, longing, sexuality
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