Archives For personal

the lovely thing about bureaucracy is how it self perpetuates

August 5, 2004 — Leave a comment

the stark realism of dealing with the USCIS is clearer after a day of digging through the website, trying to find out what we need to do next.

the bureaucratic behemoth that is the USCIS thrives on the magic words `one more thing,` so now that this particular hurdle has been leaped there is another set to get over.

apparently the approval only means that i am now clear to apply for a change of status. so having gone through all of this, this change of status should be straightforward right?

guess again, i have a 35 page application form, which includes copies of forms that we`ve submitted on two different occasions thus far. i also have to do another medical, i wouldn`t be so irritated by that except i had to find money to do a medical less than six months ago to get the visa i`m currently on. oh and i missed one of the important factors, we have to shell out another $385 and that doesn`t include the cost of pictures and the medical.

i think the thing that irritates me about this is that there are at least two different sets of paperwork floating around with all the information that they require and now i`m about to start another batch. i thought the whole reason for throwing billions of dollars, revamping and renaming the INS was to make them more efficient.

and it gets better, i just checked the website for the processing dates for this particular application at the Memphis office; they are now up to applications with a receipt date of March 2002. and people wonder why there are so many illegal immigrants.

edited with the revised cost after a conversation with NCS help line and the hope that the medical i did will still be valid.

In personal , ,
 permalink

quixotic

July 27, 2004

i was having a conversation with a friend this morning about similar aspects of our personalities; specifically the inability to say `No` and by extension our ability to think it`s our duty to fix everyone`s problems but our own.

this is ground i`ve covered before but listening, well reading; her perspective on it, reopened some old wounds for me. i haven`t been able to articulate my feelings in any coherent manner since then. i have typed this paragraph about  five times and deleted each one because i still can`t quite put into words.

i think part of this is a feeling of guilt. my ex-mother-in-law died yesterday, i get along fabulously with my ex, she`s the mother of my younger daughter and i count her as one of my best friends in the world and i can`t do anything for her and that bothers me. she`s one of the few people that has been here for me no matter what and now she needs someone and i can`t reciprocate.

In personal , ,
 permalink

i’m not as young as i used to be

July 26, 2004 — Leave a comment

there was a time when i could be up late for at least a week and when i say up late, i mean night after night on two and three hours sleep before i would begin to feel the toll.

that doesn`t apply any more, my weekend began on Thursday when we went to see John Wesley Harding, by the time we got home and in bed it was 1am, then on Friday night we went to see They Might be Giants, which was great except for the crystal meth guy jumping up on stage and grabbing the mike and getting body checked off said stage by the bassist.

while i`m on the topic of the surreal moments of Friday night, i have to say that while the concept of the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players is a good one, self deprecation and kitsch will only take you so far, i`m truly grateful their set was a short one. and aside from what we discovered the following day to be a mild case of carbon monoxide poisoning from sitting on the ground near the generators and the supply truck and the general aches and pains associated with standing on asphalt for too long, a good time was had by all. we`re heading back this Friday, better prepared to see Issac Hayes.

on saturday we slept in, but the two consecutive late nights were already taking their toll and i had to drive an hour and a half each way to pick up the boy chick, having to a house party later that evening didn`t help either. i spent most of the night sprawled on the couch with a book, i really wasn`t up to dealing with people and by 10 i`d convinced vic that it was time to go home.

and that in a nutshell was my weekend, i`m still trying to recover. vic is home a few days this week with the boychick and i wish i could join them but it`s not in the budget.

In personal ,
 permalink

on being responsible

July 23, 2004 — Leave a comment

my workload has picked up, considerably, i have job jackets; yes more than one on my desk, i have stuff on my desk that doesn`t come under the generic job related function, i feel good.

and vic and i took our lunch hour to open a savings account and start checking on insurance. we`re adults, we`re being responsible. we need to make some time this weekend to finalise the household budget, but i`m starting to feel accomplished in some sense.

tonight we`re going to see They Might be Giants. one of the great things about living in Nashvegas, as i`ve said before is the multitude of live events that are available. because of the plethora of shows and venues, the prices are really good, last night we saw John Wesley Harding at the [in]famous, Bluebird Cafe for $10. Bluebird is the sort of venue i truly love, small, informal and intimate; where, when you think the performer is looking right at you, they just might be.

TMBG tonight is an open lot downtown and that`s $5 in advance and i think it`s competition of a sort for Dancin` in the District, but aside from Cake, there hasn`t been anyone on the Dancin` line up that i think i missed out on. coming next month are a couple of acts that i think $5 is a steal to see, including Cypress Hill, George Clinton & P Funk and the Wailers.

George Clinton & P Funk and the Wailers are playing on the same night and i`m in the process of designing a t-shirt specifically for that event that reads:

“I HAVE NO WEED or associated paraphernalia.”

In personal , , , ,
 permalink

SGPT

July 20, 2004 — Leave a comment

so i went from having nothing to talk about today to a couple of calls that have not quite gone my way. for the last year i`ve been trekking around my old laptop under the delusion that it was just the power convertor board that had failed and it would be fairly cheap to replace.

since vic got the freelance gig we thought it would be a good idea for to get it fixed for her to use, so off it went to the nice folks at powerbookresq; well they called today, it was actually the logic board that died. so now here is the question, do we want to pay the $400 to have a 4 year old machine fixed or do we just want to get a new[ish] one with a warranty.

the second call i got was from the clinical trial i wanted to sign up for, telling me my SGPT levels are elevated, not dangerously so, but enough to keep me out of the study. normal levels are between 20 – 40, mine is 75. the reading puts me out of the running for hepititis or cirrhosis, but the guy suggested that i show a copy of my lab results to my physician. levels like that are related to drinking or consumption of tylenol. i don`t do tylenol and i didn`t even finish a whole beer on friday.

i`m trying not to panic, my medical at my office doesn`t kick in for another seven weeks and whatever this is will keep, i`m sure. i could check this up online but what good will it do me? i missed those years in medical school, so i`ll just be worrying myself probably unnecessarily.

In personal , ,
 permalink

darth insidious

July 14, 2004 — Leave a comment

we all look alike.

you know the drill; all black men look alike, well take that a step further, all black men with dreads look even more alike. in Nashville there are five of us, an English teacher at some exclusive private school, a lawyer, a musician, a fellow graphic artist; who i had the pleasure of meeting; and myself.

since i`ve been here, i`ve  been mistaken for the school teacher and the musician, one of both of them must party a lot because people keep coming up to me and asking me if we`d met at a party earlier in the year. i don`t drink that much and i don`t do drugs, i don`t even party much so if i`d met you at a party, i`d know.

the other graphic artist was telling me about having dinner in a restaurant and this woman accosted him, mistaking him for her ex; the lawyer. i thought that was pretty odd, but having had people come up to me and start conversations, i don`t know why i did.

the other person i look like; only because of the dreads and only to small children; is the guy who host a show on disney. i`ve had small children just sit and look at me thinking i was that guy.

when i was in Chattanooga over the July 4th weekend, a member of an old school quartet of queens tried to pick me up, said i looked like someone he knew.

i am everywhere, i am Darth Insidious, i cannot be stopped.

In humour, personal , ,
 permalink

poked and prodded

June 21, 2004 — Leave a comment

today i started the process to get involved with a clinical trial. i feel rather strongly about it. i`m not a great taker of medication and don`t particularly love visits to the doctors, so the concept of being poked and prodded for the next 15 months is a great leap for me.

in light of my cynical and conspiracy theorist nature doing this is also a great leap of faith for me but there are times when something feels so right that you just have to go with it. this is one of those times, from the time i saw the posted asking to volunteers to the initial interview this morning, i feel good about it on a gut level.

vic needed some reassurance and i think the consent forms and information packet has mostly sold her on this. there is also a small fee for participating the programme, but vic and i decided to donate the money to a worthy cause.

In personal
 permalink

father’s day pot pourri

June 20, 2004 — Leave a comment

firstly, happy father`s day to all the parents on js; the fathers that are there for their children; physically, emotionally, however they can, the mothers doing the job of both parents, because they have to or they want to. happy father`s day to you all.

in news of parenting, it appears that our resident morality maven has taken leave of us; either fed up of our wanton and debauched nature or licking his wounds and planning for another course of attack; whatever the result, his journal in it`s last form is no more. i`m not celebrating, i`m not gloating, because that was never my intention, i`m just relieved.

today we cleaned the house top to bottom, including the boychick`s closet; he`s eight and his idea of organised and our ideas are radically divergent. we`re exhausted and we still have to tackle lunch and vic is planning on making bread and granola before the day is out. the boychick, a friend of his and vic`s mother are with us this coming week and operating on a limited budget, making what you can from scratch is always cheaper.

and finally my good news, on Friday i was supposed to trek out to Memphis in the wee hours of the morn to apply for a temporary employment authorisation because the USCIS hadn`t issued my employment authorisation after the prescribed 90 day period, however on Wednesday night, i came home to find and email stating that my application had been approved and mailed out to me. so no trek to Memphis and i`m soon to join the rank and file. that just leaves the somewhat miniscule task of finding a job. i`ve been sending out resumes since i got here, but i`ve been unable to follow up because i couldn`t work legally, well all that is over now, look out Nashvegas.

In personal , , ,
 permalink

word wars

June 19, 2004 — Leave a comment

i`ve been a scrabble player since i can remember. my mother had that tiny travel scrabble that we used to take on the plane and she used to whoop my ass coming and going.

just after i got into high school we discovered a scrabble club in Port of Spain and thus began my experiences in competitive scrabble and my ability to beat my mother.

one of the keys to my skills was the two and three letter word list, the weekend after we received the list, i record all the words on a cassette and went to sleep one sunday afternoon, my young and impressionable mind retained it all.

since then i`m played with some regularity, not every friday like i used to tagging along with my mother to the scrabble club. i lost contact with the people in the club as i grew older and found less geeky past times, or so i thought.

i used to play occasionally, not with the skill and knowledge i used to as a younger man. scrabble is a game based on knowledge of language and like all language it`s ever evolving. i tried playing at a tournament last year and had my ass handed to me by a young man; who in a number of years will be in the same place i was sitting across the board from him, wondering what happened to all the skills he had. it was nice to see some of the faces i had grown up with.

scrabble i`ve come to realise holds a strange place in the geek hierarchy. there is no scrabble port for the mac, but i have a version i bought for the palm which i play with some regularity. and since i`ve been here, i`ve managed to get quite a few games in, i`ve kept my winning ways to some extent, but vic who shares my passion for words is a skilled player; not necessarily relying on the two and three letter words but her food vocabulary; and in recent days has managed not just beat me, but soundly trounce me on more than one occasion.

Word Wars is unflattering documentary on competitive scrabble, which is opening soon at the independent theatre here. i want to see this film. it may not be as charitable or understanding as Stephan Fastis` Word Freak but i feel an affinity to the people in this movie. i know who they are because they are the same people featured in the book, even though the book and movie are only related by their choice of subject matter. the other reason i want to see this movie is that i haven`t found a sanctioned scrabble club in Nashville, yet and i`m sure this movie is guaranteed to draw all of of us word freaks out of the woodwork.

In personal , ,
 permalink

Morality is what we expect from those whom we vaguely dislike

May 27, 2004

we had house guests over last night. we played dirty scrabble and Scattegories. it`s a nice feeling being `normal`, doing things together, having people over, laughing hysterically at the way our brains work.

vic and i joke about sharing a brain regularly, but last night during Scategories, our brilliant idea for something you`re allergic to beginning with the letter `O`; otters. our guests looked at us stunned. there were bonus points during Scattegories too for answers that were immoral to say the least, but we were all adults.

in other news, George W. is mere minutes away from me today, he`s making a money run at Vanderbilt, so i have the joy of being inconvenienced and diverted for at least five hours today. oh dear i promised i would be nice.

In personal , , , ,
 permalink