CunningLinguist

like you`re thinking about something unpleasant.

that has nothing to do with this post, but vic said it to me yesterday and it had such weight, i promised to lead off today`s post with it.

after appropriate chiding from many sides, i`m sticking with the spelling i`ve spent my life learning. when i get a job, i`ll just have to remember to switch gears.

it`s interesting how well vic knows me, from the tone of my voice to the set of my jaw. i have to admit i was a little miffed yesterday, i think the change in my schedule is getting to me. i usually pick the boychick up from school on afternoons, breaking the monotony of the post lunch hours, but he`s on spring break and at his grandparents. i think i`ve done all the laundry in the world so after i have lunch with vic there is not much to do until i have to go pick her up in the afternoon. the job and apartment hunting are going apace, but i can`t actually commit to a job until i have my work authorisation and my first appointment for that is april 9.

that was a hell of a diversion from the opening sentence.

i used to think of myself as having a rapier wit, sharp, deadly incisive but according to my friends i`m like an axe or broadsword. you see it coming and there is no way to avoid it, from either direction. i`m a big guy and in some people`s eyes i looking physically dangerous, but in reality i`m a teddy bear. a big dreadlocked teddy bear.

physically i`m about as harmful as a stuffed toy, i don`t throw my weight around, i`m not particularly violent, it`s just not in my nature. but piss me off i will throw the full weight of my mental prowess and vocabulary at you and the entire purpose of that was to decimate you by destroying your ego. and most of the time i didn`t think i was being particularly mean. i would say i was being truthful and the truth hurts.

i`ve mellowed since i`ve met vic. there is temperance, i`m not as quick with the retorts, not because i haven`t thought of them, but because i pause and take a breath and think about the consequences. what`s interesting is that i think it`s genetic, my mother`s tongue is pretty lethal and my daughters don`t suffer fools readily either. they may not have the vocabulary but the tone is definitely there.

there are times i worry for the girls and then sometimes they say or do something and i think i don`t have to worry about them and almost feel sorry for anyone that comes that doesn`t come up to their discriminating standards.

Technorati Tags:
rapier wit, biting sarcasm

i`ve changed the built in dictionary on my machine to us english in order to indoctrinate myself to some extent. i touch type, yes i do. my mother though i should learn a useful skill as i sat around her office in my wayward youth.

so i`m un-learning how to spell. it`s strange to replace all my `s` with `z` and dropping my `u`. the english language is a strange thing. there is a meme, which i obviously can`t put my hand on at the moment, about how difficult the english language is to learn. apparently second only to mandarin.

there are subtle differences in how i speak, the things i say and how i say them. i`ve learned to speak slower to be understood, trinidadians have a reputation for fast talking, not in a schemish way, well that too, but the cadence of our speech makes it almost impossible for outsiders to understand us once we get going.

when i was in fl last time, a friend came to visit and gave me a hard time when i was ordering something at the supermarket. a couple months later when she came home, she was still doing it. not the rent-an-accent that some long-term residents adopt, but a slower, more nuanced pronunciation.

classical english public school system with a caribbean flavor as vic calls it.

i think i`ve mastered the voice, traveling so much in the last four year and ensuring that i`m understood. what i need to reacclimatize myself to is really the written word. in typing this alone, i`ve had to backtrack at least five times. every `s` i change to a `z` and every `u` i drop is making me cringe. i need to get past the cringe factor and for it to feel natural.

Technorati Tags:
queen’s english, spelling

i`ve been growing it for 8 years now. and as much shit as i get for it, i like it, it`s part of who i am. my original plan was to cut it after a decade but now i`m not so sure.

i know there are a couple people who would never talk to me again. they were involved in keep my hair neat in the very beginning. dreads are not as no maintenance as they appear it takes a bit of hard work and effort. my hair is thick and doesn`t readily mat, so i have to braid in the new growth into the roots of my existing hair.

when i first started growing my hair my then girlfriend used to do it for me. it took then as it does now four hours. she was old school. plait and braid, by the time she was done with me, my hair was tight [like a tiger] and i had regained a few years. after a while, love or not, she got tired of doing it and suggested i start seeing a professional.

the first professional i went to, was after my hiatus in ny. my hair grows with temperature change and i had about two or three inches of new growth that needed to be tackled. so off i went based on the recommendations of friends.  i set up an appointment, the girl looked at my hair and said come for 10 am shouldn`t take more than two hours.

so i did. she put her hand in my hair and said, `oh shit.` that`s the general reaction. most people are surprised by how think my hair is. it took her four hours with help. after that i convinced a friend`s girlfriend to deal with my hair and she did yeoman service for three years until the length defeated her.

in between all of that various people have tried their hands at it. i`m not particularly pick about people touching my hair. as long as they ask or i`ve asked them. but my hair seems to attract all sorts of people. on my first trip to london i was in a bar in camden hanging out with friends, i had just come out of the bathroom and was on my way back to the table when this woman came up to me and started fondling my hair. and the words all people with dreads have learned and loathe, `it`s just so nice i had to touch it.`

i taught her a lesson that night however. i reached out and grabbed a bobbie and squeezed and said `it`s just so nice i had to touch it.` i told her, you don`t like it much do you when i invade your personal space. but then she got another look in her eye and i made quick dash for our table.

on my last trip to london i was sitting on the tube and this woman moves almost all the way up the car so she can sit next to me and out of the corner of my eye i see the hand coming up. i gave her the xiaolin dreadlock hair block. after a while with your hair you learn it to prevent random stroking and fondling.

since i`ve been in nashville, i think i`ve gotten a compliment about my hair every time i`ve been out. i don`t mind people asking questions or asking to touch, i don`t even hold to the superstition that let people touch your dreads will cause them to break. it`s hair, if it breaks it will grow back. i`ve had a few break, one or two close to the root, a couple more where my hair is bleached out, but it`s just hair, it will grow back.

i started growing my hair because i felt the need to assert my individuality. at the time i was young and i felt the need to further distance myself from the corporate drone mindset and that certainly did it. now that i`m older and i see dreads becoming more acceptable in general, i`m glad but i`m not about to cut to be contrary. when i cut my hair, it will be end a period of personal development.

Technorati Tags:
dreadlocks, hair, personal grooming, dreads

as i put the black pants i`ve been wearing into the current load of laundry, i`m looking around for something to put on. wait i have a closet full of clothes that haven`t been worn since i left naples in june 2001.

open the closet and try on the first pair of pants. ooh the waist fits, it`s not clinging to my hips like a second skin, we`re in business. but wait, they are about an inch above my ankles.

i`m not expecting to flood waters and it`s not like i`m putting on a pair of waders over these pants. it`s so weird, all of them with the exception of the jeans and the pants i`ve just taken off are all too short. not too small, just too short.

off they go into the goodwill bag. and i think some pant shopping on the agenda for this weekend. the problem with that is that i need baggy pants. i`ve got a big ass, there is not polite way to put it. my waist is still in the 38 inch region but i`ve got these big hips and ample posterior, so i end up having to buy 42/44 inch pants, but if they`re cut straight it`s pointless. they bunch up at the crotch and just generally look unsightly.

in other news i think i`m losing weight, i have no way of confirming this however. the first scale i got on went up to 199 lbs and went ERR. but that`s to be expected on a scale that goes up to 200 lbs. the scale here only goes up to 250 lbs and i got on it and i worked out i still weigh over 250. duh. i`m not fascinated enough with my weight to buy a scale outright, i just want to know so i can monitor it on occasion.

well not particularly anyway. well to be more specific not about personal appearance. with my work however it`s a horse of a different color. [is that the analogy? i can never remember and i`d hate to be mixing metaphors, but…]

i think in my line of work 80% of the work you produce is ego driven, if you don`t believe you have the skills then you can`t produce good work. raw talent is good but if you don`t believe in yourself you`re not going to get anywhere.

but i digress. in terms of personal appearance i generally don`t give a rat`s ass. i throw on what`s at hand and what i feel comfortable in. i`ve been told i clean up nicely however and that`s good. i`m as comfortable in pajamas as i am in a sarong or a suit and tie. although i try to avoid the last, well, just because.

again i digress, but not as much as the first time. my true pride and joy in terms of my outward appearance is my skin. i have lovely skin and i suppose having it now is to make for the years spent at various skin specialist as a small child due to various allergic reactions which invariably showed up on said skin.

i heal well, it`s smooth [actually on of the reason my tattoo artist loves working with me. he told me so.] not too dry, not too oily. longer before the term metrosexual was festering in the brain of some marketing nitwit, i was getting facials and choosing carefully the products that go onto my pride and joy.

i don`t wash my face with soap, it`s generally just warm water and the occasional steam, then pat dry will do it just fine and i`m kind of picky about the kind of soaps i use and will since i discovered bodyshop`s body butter that`s about the only thing goes onto my skin directly and well johnson`s baby oil with aloe. i`m picky like that.

what`s the point of all this?

i`m ashy. and it`s pissing me to fuck off, i have never in my life been ashy. i`m pretty much as traumatized as i`m going to be about this. my skin is dry and no amount of body butter is helping. i`m drinking my usually volumes of water, so it`s not a question of lack of moisture. the house is not colder or hotter than i`m accustomed to but my skin is dry and ashy.

what the hell is that about? i supposed i should find more pressing concerns but i don`t have any really, i`m job and apartment hunting and it`s going pretty well. i`m happy, my cold seems to be going away, although now my nose is dry and peeling as well. i guess this gives me something to fixate upon.

but seriously i take care of my skin and i am traumatized by its current condition, what am i to do?

Technorati Tags:
skin, body butter

this morning found me scraping frost of the windshield of the car. if there has ever been a wake up call for cultural differences, that would be it.

i think i may be enjoying this house husband thing too much. i left the house in my pyjamas this morning. just put on some socks and slip-ons and a jacket scraped the windshield and dropped my charges off. i have a load of laundry going in the washer and then i`m going to take a nap because this cold is kicking my ass.

i want to thank all of you for coming putting up with all my idiosyncrasies, the thoughtful comments and the general support. i`m going to continue to post everyday, well at least try to and hopefully you`ll continue to be entertained.

this post is all over the place today, so i`m going to take the opportunity to answer some questions asked in the comments.

miko:

for the time being we`re a family of three, the girls aren`t here yet. i don`t want to pull them out of school in the middle of the term and i need to get settled first, so we can afford to be a family of five.

magnolia:

the tag line we used was `Every Day Matters.` which was a last minute replacement for `All you need to know` we had all the artwork ready for presentation with `All…` when the copy writer came across it in the paper being used for a bookstore. not fun. you can see the finished product here [it`s at the bottom, you have to scroll down].

the concept behind the campaign is there is something in the paper for you everyday of the week.

time to go put a load in the dryer and another load in the washing machine. domestication is a hell of a thing.