like you`re thinking about something unpleasant.
that has nothing to do with this post, but vic said it to me yesterday and it had such weight, i promised to lead off today`s post with it.
after appropriate chiding from many sides, i`m sticking with the spelling i`ve spent my life learning. when i get a job, i`ll just have to remember to switch gears.
it`s interesting how well vic knows me, from the tone of my voice to the set of my jaw. i have to admit i was a little miffed yesterday, i think the change in my schedule is getting to me. i usually pick the boychick up from school on afternoons, breaking the monotony of the post lunch hours, but he`s on spring break and at his grandparents. i think i`ve done all the laundry in the world so after i have lunch with vic there is not much to do until i have to go pick her up in the afternoon. the job and apartment hunting are going apace, but i can`t actually commit to a job until i have my work authorisation and my first appointment for that is april 9.
that was a hell of a diversion from the opening sentence.
i used to think of myself as having a rapier wit, sharp, deadly incisive but according to my friends i`m like an axe or broadsword. you see it coming and there is no way to avoid it, from either direction. i`m a big guy and in some people`s eyes i looking physically dangerous, but in reality i`m a teddy bear. a big dreadlocked teddy bear.
physically i`m about as harmful as a stuffed toy, i don`t throw my weight around, i`m not particularly violent, it`s just not in my nature. but piss me off i will throw the full weight of my mental prowess and vocabulary at you and the entire purpose of that was to decimate you by destroying your ego. and most of the time i didn`t think i was being particularly mean. i would say i was being truthful and the truth hurts.
i`ve mellowed since i`ve met vic. there is temperance, i`m not as quick with the retorts, not because i haven`t thought of them, but because i pause and take a breath and think about the consequences. what`s interesting is that i think it`s genetic, my mother`s tongue is pretty lethal and my daughters don`t suffer fools readily either. they may not have the vocabulary but the tone is definitely there.
there are times i worry for the girls and then sometimes they say or do something and i think i don`t have to worry about them and almost feel sorry for anyone that comes that doesn`t come up to their discriminating standards.