Archives For February 2004

i just came back from picking up my ticket. it`s hard to believe it`s only going to be another two weeks.

all tickets are in hand, i still haven`t finished packing and i haven`t organised the boxes, but i think that`s on the agenda for this afternoon.

i`m literally bouncing off the walls here. i`ve got a design to do for an annual report and i have a surfeit of ideas, i`m just completely hyper.

i`m also checking all the stuff in my drawers that to go this week to be packed, first and foremost, my dictionary.

i have no doubt that particular confession will raise more than a few eyebrows. why the hell would i bring a dictionary to work and much less, need to pack it to ship. well the simple fact is that i believe that it`s one of the essentials in my household.

besides this is no ordinary dictionary, this is the new oxford dictionary of english, 2001 edition. i bought this in london, on my trip in 2002 and it`s been travelling with me ever since. i place a great deal of value on a good dictionary, if i had the money, i would pay the $295 annual subscription for the OED online. words are a passion.

before this dictionary, i had been using a chambers 20th century edition that i`d won in a scrabble tournament, that had served me well. i believe it`s in storage with the rest of books that vic trekked to the wilds of naples, fl to recover.

that`s another thing i`m looking forward to, combining our libraries, vic and i share a love for books and words and both have large collections of books. i`m sure we`re going to have to constrain ourselves to a book budget every month when we finally get settled.

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i moved out of my apartment yesterday. my lease was up. i`m crashing with a friend for the next two weeks.

i have to unpack today, but it`s really just an exercise in deciding what needs to be packed away properly and what i`m wearing for the next two weeks.

i have boxes to ship, but they have to be a certain weight and size and wrapped in brown paper, so i have to get smaller boxes to repack.

there is an air of surrealism about all of this. it`s what we`ve been waiting on for two years, i`m just still in awe that it`s all happening. in two weeks and a day, vic and i will be together.

i`m not sure if this is going to be the longest two weeks or the swiftest two weeks in creation. everytime i think about it, my skin tingles, my heart races and i seem to be at a loss for words.

i`m going to organise my bags, it`s strange how much stuff you manage to accumulate, i can pack the big bag today and get it out of the way, so the smaller bag will be laundry i use in the next two weeks.

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i read, therefore i am

February 14, 2004 — Leave a comment

stole this from sungoddess

1984, George Orwell

The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

Alice`s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Animal Farm, George Orwell

Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery


Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer

The BFG, Roald Dahl

Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks

Black Beauty, Anna Sewell

Bleak House, Charles Dickens

Brave New World, Aldous Huxley


Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh

Bridget Jones`s Diary, Helen Fielding

Captain Corelli`s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres

Catch 22, Joseph Heller

The Catcher In The Rye, JD Salinger

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl

A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel


Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons

The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett

The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas

Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky

David Copperfield, Charles Dickens


Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson

Dune, Frank Herbert

Emma, Jane Austen

Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy

Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson

The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy

The Godfather, Mario Puzo

Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell

Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian

Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake

The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck

Great Expectations, Charles Dickens

The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald

Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett

Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling

Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, JK Rowling

Harry Potter And The Philosopher`s Stone, JK Rowling

Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling

His Dark Materials trilogy, Philip Pullman

The Hitchhiker`s Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas Adams

The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien


Holes, Louis Sachar

I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer

Katherine, Anya Seton

The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis

Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

Lord Of The Flies, William Golding

The Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien

Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blighton


Magician, Raymond E Feist

The Magus, John Fowles

Matilda, Roald Dahl

Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden


Middlemarch, George Eliot

Midnight`s Children, Salman Rushdie

Mort, Terry Pratchett

Night Watch, Terry Pratchet
t

Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman

Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck

On The Road, Jack Kerouac

One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Perfume, Patrick Suskind

Persuasion, Jane Austen

The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett

A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving

Pride And Prejudice, Jane Austen


The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot

The Ragged Trousered Philantrhopists, Robert Tressell

Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher

The Stand, Stephen King

The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth

Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome

A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

Tess Of The D`urbervilles, Thomas Hardy

The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough

To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee


A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute

Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson

The Twits, Roald Dahl

Ulysses, James Joyce


Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson

War And Peace, Leo Tolstoy

Watership Down, Richard Adams

The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame

Winnie-the-Pooh, AA Milne


The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins

Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

bold equals read, i can`t tag the ones i own because i`m not sure of the total contents of our library, yet

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Valentine`s Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl`s name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honor of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavored to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine`s Day for the celebration of this new feast. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

People in England probably celebrated Valentine`s Day as early as the 1400`s. Some historians trace the custom of sending verses on Valentine`s Day to a Frenchman named Charles, Duke of Orleans. Charles was captured by the English during the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. He was taken to England and put in prison. On Valentine`s Day, he sent his wife a rhymed love letter from his cell in the Tower of London.

One of the oldest customs was the practice of writing women`s names on slips of paper and drawing them from a jar. The woman whose name was drawn by a man became his valentine, and he paid special attention to her. Many men gave gifts to their valentines. In some areas, a young man gave his valentine a pair of gloves. Wealthy men gave fancy balls to honor their valentines.

One description of Valentine`s Day during the 1700`s tells how groups of friends met to draw names. For several days, each man wore his valentine`s name on his sleeve. The saying wearing his heart on his sleeve probably came from this practice.

The custom of sending romantic messages gradually replaced that of giving gifts. In the 1700`s and 1800`s, many stores sold handbooks called valentine writers. These books included verses to copy and various suggestions about writing valentines.

Commercial valentines were first made in the early 1800`s. Many of them were blank inside, with space for the sender to write a message. The British artist Kate Greenaway became famous for her valentines in the late 1800`s. Many of her cards featured charming pictures of happy children and lovely gardens.

Esther A. Howland, of Worcester, Massachusetts, became one of the first U.S. manufacturers of valentines. In 1847, after seeing a British valentine, she decided to make some of her own. She made samples and took orders from stores. Then she hired a staff of young women and set up an assembly line to produce the cards. One woman glued on paper flowers, another added lace, and another painted leaves. Howland soon expanded her business into a $100,000-a-year enterprise.

Many valentines of the 1800`s were hand painted. Some featured a fat cupid or showed arrows piercing a heart. Many cards had satin, ribbon, or lace trim. Others were decorated with dried flowers, feathers, imitation jewels, mother-of-pearl, sea shells, or tassels. Some cards cost as much as $10.

From the mid-1800`s to the early 1900`s, many people sent comic valentines called penny dreadfuls. These cards sold for a penny and featured such insulting verses as:

  `Tis all in vain your simpering looks,

  You never can incline,

  With all your bustles, stays, and curls,

  To find a valentine.

Many penny dreadfuls and other old valentines have become collectors` items.

When the [Civil] war ended, and Americans crept into the light of Reconstruction, they found a freshly industrialized nation. Along with it came a transcontinental railroad, typewriters, an internal combustion engine, and — most importantly for Valentine’s Day — heart-shaped boxes full of  commercial chocolates (a gimmick invented by the Cadbury brothers during the  1860s). Although fine diamonds and jewelry never quite became the norm among Americans, the standard “recipe” of cards, flowers, and a heart-shaped  box of chocolates had been carved in the national psyche. Now Valentine’s  Day is only second to Christmas in number of cards bought and sent.

[multiple sources]

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blood, sweat and tears

February 13, 2004 — Leave a comment

it`s obvious by now that i have tattoos, what`s not immediately obvious is what the mean and their significance.

before i go i have to point out, the most intelligent thing axel rose ever said is, if you want a tattoo, wait two years, if you still want the same thing after that, then get it. whatever you do, you have to live with for the rest of your life.

my very first tattoo was a poorly done free hand mouse on my right bicep,  but that has since been covered.



sol, my first real tattoo was the sun that used to dominate my back, it`s 13″ and started in the initial sketch i showed to d [tattoo guy] as fairly simple sun, all the detail and shading was his idea. it was the first of our many episodes in trust.

i had decided on a stellar theme for my ink. my tattoos are going to last my life time, so what i get should reflect the constants in my life.



luna`s primary raison d`etre was to cover the ugly mouse but continuing in a stellar them, d also stuck threw in my astrological symbol into the mix. just below that is my younger daughter`s name in sanskrit.



it`s not in keeping with the stellar them but whatever happens my children will also be mine. i chose sanskrit because it`s one of; if not; the oldest written languages and is still in use to today. i chose it to symbolise the enduring love i have for my children. i may not always show it but it`s there. nothing will change it.



the next tattoo i got was my comet, again the concept was mine but the execution was pure d. i decided i wanted something that wrapped around my arm but was still in keeping with the stellar theme.



after the comet, the whole stellar bodies plan pretty much fell apart, short of starting to tattoo galaxies on my body, i`d pretty much covered the constants it. the ouroboros was designed by d for a project we worked on together but it got cut. i swore it would see the light of day. the ouroboros is a symbol of concepts like completion, totality, the endless round of existence. all of which are major concepts in my life.



aqua, is the pattern from my wedding band, it also represents my love of water and it`s calming effect on me.



and finally there is my back which is this abstract piece which is supposed to be my last major piece of ink, it`s in progress and evolving.

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the final countdown

February 12, 2004 — Leave a comment

i`m sitting in grantley adams international airport, one of the last three airports i`ll be travelling alone from.

i`m less of the emotional wreck that i was yesterday,  i`m still eternally grateful for all the prayers and good wishes and support, moral and physical through the last two years.

by the time this is posted, i will be back in jamaica and have a clearer idea of when i`ll get to leave. i would have tendered my resignation.

there are so many things i need to do in the next day and a half, including ship my books off, thoroughly clean my apartment, disconnect my phone and internet accounts as the lease on my apartment is up on saturday.

i need to do laundry, probably my last on my own. it`s such a relief to know soon, now has a date.

i`m on the plane now and coherent enough to recount my trip to the consular offices, including a number of interesting discoveries. after my visa had been approved and while i was waiting for them to print it and put it in my passport and provide me with the packet i have to present to immigration officials when i arrive in the us, i had a real conversation with the officer.

apparently the overseas offices have always been short staffed and events since september 2001, haven`t made it any better. for the three days i was back and forth at their offices there were three officers on duty, two issuing non-immigrant visas and one  dealing with immigrant visas.

the problem specifically in barbados is, they are the consular authority for seven other countries. all applicants from grenada, st. vincent and the grenadines, st. lucia, st. martin and a few other places that i`m not entirely sure of, fall under the aegis of the the bajan embassy and consular services. and this not just about visas, they also deal with american citizen services like passports, births and deaths abroad, that kind of thing.

it`s was interesting to be able to talk to this woman, like a real human being and though i`ve been frustrated and disappointed by them on previous occasions i could empathise. when i got my passport back, it was a little before 2pm, she had been interviewing since 8am, missed lunch dealing with my case and she still had to deal with the family of someone who had drowned in st. martin. i listened to her explain the same thing to a woman at her window at least five times, using the same language and tone of voice. i couldn`t do that job with snapping, it requires a lot of patience and shutting yourself off emotionally.

i guess in my own way, it`s my way of saying thank you to her as well.

i feel very blessed and grateful.  there are people that have to be publicly acknowledged, i have to say again huge thank yous to guttaperk and the divagirl for all their help; the shuttling about, the food, the accommodation, the general good time. a very special thank you to sam, without whom this trip would not have happened at all. my mother for supporting me however she could. and my best friend in the world, pig, thank you.

and vic. my love, my love, thank you for sticking with me through all of this. i love you. soon.

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it’s done

February 11, 2004 — Leave a comment

bear with me, this is going to read like an oscar acceptance speech.

i want to thank the pantheon of deities, the prayers, the sacrificial offerings, the support, the kind words. whatever you offered during the last two years to keep me/us focussed.

thank you all. my friends and family who put up with my whining and panic attacks, those of you who provided monetary contributions, shelter and transportation. a thousand thank yous.

i`m a little overwhelmed right now. so all i can say is thanks to everyone who helped.

i`m heading back to jamaica tomorrow and i`ll update you on the intended schedule.

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poked and prodded

February 10, 2004 — Leave a comment

you know under other circumstances i might just enjoy this kind of treatment. at least i get to find out how unwell i am.

i`ve started typing this at home, well what i`m call home for the duration of the visit. i`ll probably update while i sit and wait at the dr`s office.

if i remember correctly, there are blood and urine samples to be given, xrays and then a general medical. maybe i can ask about the back pain, i`m paying out the nostrils for this, might as well make it worth the while.  actually the back pain has been reduced to dull ache, i have full range of movement once again but the surprise nature and intensity of the pain requires investigation.

so here i sit at the clinic and i`m hearing murmurs that have me vaguely uneasy. the clinic doesn`t do their own blood work and there are at least two people who were here yesterday that have to return tomorrow for their lab results, this does not fill me with great joy, i really can`t afford another day away from my job, especially in light of the bomb i`m about to drop. added to which the lease on my apartment is up on saturday, meaning i have to be packed up, laundered and completely ready to move by friday. i can`t do that if i`m still here. besides i don`t have the wardrobe or the finances and this sitting around staring at the four wall is driving me crazy.

the number of people here to do their medical today is considerably less than when i was here the last time, so i`m hoping that`s in my favour in terms of getting them back on time, there are only four of us, thus far. as i type this, i`ve already peed in the cup and given some of my blood, i still have the xray and the physical. they dr that does the physical just walked in, boding well for an exit before midday.

this is an interesting concept for a journal entry, a live capsule report, well it wont be live by the time you`ve read it but the ability to sit here and type this. there are no starbucks for me to just sit and suck up bandwidth, so i have to rely on the kindness of strangers [said in my best scarlett o`hara, but they`re not really strangers either] to get internet access. the nice thing however is that i have a network setting on the laptop called `whore` which basically lets me plug into any ethernet connection and share in that network connect. the joys of os x and dhcp, ain`t technology grand.

all this time on my hands, has given me an opportunity to do some admin work on the laptop, delete some apps that i haven`t been using, repair my permissions and try to clean up the dupes in my mp3 collection. it`s a work in progress. with close to 25Gb of audio files it`s easy to get side-tracked. and on another tangent, i need to find an app that allows me to write and save journal entries offline. i`m typing this in ijournal, which supports js through the lj protocols, but it doesn`t save my offline entries, so i have to copy them into text edit, just ensure that i have a copy. i`d rather a more finessed solution.

the xrays have started and the first person is in having theirs done, it`s the same doc that does the physical, hmmmm, does this mean i`m going to have to wait for all the xrays to be done first, then the physicals?

nope. different person doing the physical. very nice bedside manner. my blood pressure is high, i`m overweight but two pounds lighter than i was a week ago. i`m not sure how much of the blood pressure is related to this whole exercise but for someone from a hypertensive family, it`s something for me to worry about.

i got jabbed with four needles for my troubles [MMR, Polio, etc vaccination updates] and had to pee with a guy watching me. thank god for PC muscle control.

so, i`m done and a lot poorer for it. i had to pay extra for a vaccination update and a drug test. do the math, $155, $85, $60, all prices quoted in US$.

but it`s over, i go back in the morning to pick up my results and deliver them onto the embassy. i foresee another long morning but that`s it, it`s over and done.

i managed to find and internet cafe where i can use my laptop, which is cool. now i can post this epic, check my mail, do damage control with the office.

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so the day is done and i`m still in barbados sans visa.

it`s approved, but if accepted it today, i would have to be on us soil by midnight tomorrow when my medical expires.

so i`m off in the morning to do my medical. again. meaning i`m going to be here for another three day.

medical in the morning, return to the embassy the following day, fly back to jamaica the day after that.

at which point, i need to hand in my resignation, clean out my current apartment and get the fuck out of dodge.

thank you for all the good wishes, support and prayers. hopefully vic and i will be together march 16, latest.

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j’arrive

February 8, 2004 — Leave a comment

and it being me, i could not  have arrive here [barbados for those of you who came in late] without some drama. i left home early got to the airport on time but getting out of the car, as i turned from taking my bag out, i experienced a pain heretofore unheard of. it`s a lancing pain at the base of my spine and if i sit still for too long i have trouble rising again.

i manage to teeter to the check-in desk like some prematurely old man, relying on all the exercises i developed to deal with the pain of getting inked, they worked, just barely. i struggled aboard the plane, sat through most of the flight, pulling myself up when needs be. i`ve figured out the posture that causes me the least pain by now, it`s mostly just hunched over.

but aside from the paroxysms of pain, it`s been quite uneventful, i didn`t get much shit at either the immigration or customs desk and divagirl was outside to meet me, i`m staying at her apt, in the company of her two cats who are sitting next to me as i type this. there`s no phone line, but i have a bed, a shower and a kitchen, i am content.

there have been noises about a soiree tonight, but unless something spectacular happens with my back, i`m not sure how up to that i am.

making great use of the technology at hand, i have a couple books i can get through over the next two days, both text and audio and i have my trust firewire drive ensuring i have a diverse range of music at my fingertips.

sunday afternoon update

i did go out eventually last night, had a blast, got home at some ungodly hour and slept most of the day away, my back still hurts but not as much as yesterday allowing my pain management techniques to actually be more effective.

tomorrow morning i`m off to the embassy, should be fun right?