CunningLinguist

i very rarely write about my children in here. just never felt the need, they`re an integral part of my life, but i`m extremely cautious when it comes to them. i have two intelligent, precocious, beautiful girls and i worry about the sort of sick freaks that are out there. but i digress from my original point.

yesterday i was taking my younger daughter to her mother and because it was raining we stopped and had lunch in the mall. over lunch, we discussed politics, well as much politics you can explain to a 10 year old. she was curious as to why people would vote for arnie? and the things being said about him in the news. told you she was bright.

over lunch we ran into a parent we knew with her son, they`ve gone on outings and hikes together, so he`s not a stranger. just before they leave he comes over to our table to show her some toy he`s just gotten and i swear to god, she rolls her eyes at him. it wasn`t a literal eye roll, but the sentiment was there. it was amazing to experience. it was sort of, “don`t you see my father and i are discussing matters of importance, get away from me with your trifling nonsense.”

there are times when i worry about what`s going to happen to them when they hit their teens and then moments like this i realise i just have to keep talking to them and it`s the people out there that are going to have to look out for them

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children, daughter

i am an only child, raised alone by mother.

we have our issues, i find it hard to like some of her ways but i am eternally grateful for the person she`s raised me to be.

as i`ve said before my mother was not raised to be a domestic goddess but she imbued in me a sense of self worth and an amazing work ethic.

my mother has massive issues with her mother, making living in this house, stressful to say the least. my grandmother moved here from jamaica a year after my grandfather lingered and died after a robbery. she never forgave my mother for bringing her with nothing to do. my mother has abandonment issues with my grandmother and all these issues come to a head particularly at christmas. making it one of the worst times of year for me. i`ve worked at christmas rather than be at home for their amazingly depressing tirades.

one of the major issues my mother has with me is my father. he left soon after i was born. a couple of points of interest, my father, my paternal grandmother and i all share a birthday. and according to my mother my father and i share a great number of personality traits.

so you can see where this is going. i had to deal with a lot of her anger.

but there was also a lot of love, there were the random drives on sunday evenings, books every month, her unconditional support for everything i ever expressed even a fleeting interest in.

looking back now i realise that i gave my mother a lot of grief but as i`ve gotten older i`m grateful for everything she`s ever done for me and i love her dearly

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mother, parenting, holidays

today was d-day, in more ways than one, i still haven`t heard from the jamaica people and based on our current financial situation i decided to whore myself out a little longer here.

my resignation still stands but they agreed that i would be full time freelance. which basically means i still show up here, but there are no benefits. [hmmmm, how is that different to now, i wonder]

there is supposed to be an increase, to match my daily rate, but i`m waiting to see that in writing. and i only have to give a week`s notice before i bail.

and that has been my day thus far. well, plus going to the printer to check on the annual report and running about taking pictures of billboards.

i`m tired, i have a headache and i`m broke. what esle is new.

i like doing laundry. i`ve been doing my own for a long time, actually since i started buying my own clothes. my mother has many skills but domestic goddess is not amoung them. her mother sent her off to school to learn more practical skills, she was a hell of a typist in her day and still is a genius of an accountant. just don`t ask her to wash your clothes.

i don`t wash at home however. for two main reasons, there is no dryer and there are dogs in the yard and i find my clothes smell doggy. i`m not a big dog person. i`m not going to kick them or anything, just prefers cats. self maintaining, aloof, that sort of thing. but i digress.

i enjoy going to the laundry mat, primarily because i can wash all my loads at once, pick 4 or 5 washers, load up my clothes and i`m good to go. i can sit with a book and be lulled to the sounds of clothes tumbling in the dryers and the hum of the washers. it`s very, very, very relaxing, no matter how stressed i am after a trip to the laundry, i`m completely rejuvenated.

the highlight of the trip for me is folding the freshly laundered clothes and packing them away. there are few things in the world better than feel and smell of warm fresh laundry.

i usually leave the clothes in the bag when i get home, so when i`m getting dressed the next day, the clothes are still warm.

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laundry, zen, pets