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we have an opportunity to clear up a financial albatross but; there is always a `but` isn`t there; i can`t get a loan from our bank to make the settlement because i have no credit.

i don`t exist, well at least until about 9 months ago, i didn`t pay bills, i had no debt, no social security number. i haven`t lived anywhere long enough, i haven`t worked anywhere long enough, so i`m a non-person. vic has a credit history but isn`t working full time anywhere and doesn`t qualify. i`m hoping to hear from our bank today to see if our combined job/credit history situation is good enough for us to settle the credit card and repay the bank at a significantly lower interest rate.

this whole concept of existence based on your social security number smacks very much of the mark of the beast. who you are and what you can and cannot do based on a series of number is a more than a little distressing.

today we get the keys for our apartment. ours. for the first time, we will officially be lessors, together. it`s been four weeks since i arrived and it`s been about settling in and even with all the expectations of things going wrong, three people unaccustomed to living together have found a rhythm. next week the rhythm changes again, for the better.

this weekend is the major moving but with keys in hand the boxes that have been packed and are in the process of packing are being transported by the carload.

with me still technically a non-person [no SS#] this is going to take a great deal fiscal juggling and worship at the great sacrificial altar of the household budget. i think we can do it however. we`ve been working at it and i think we can manage until i get full time work.

i have my fingerprint/photo/signature appointment at the local ins office next friday, bringing my existence as a person in the system closer to reality and taking some of the burden off vic. as much as i`m enjoying my times as a house husband, i`m feeling the baser imperative to being a provider.

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