20 questions

On June 18, 2003, in memes, by keifel

got this from honeydippedlotus

First Ten:  All About You

1 | What do you wish was your name?

– I love my name, i went through a phase in my teens where i went by my second name, but now… it suits me fine.

2) What song seems to reflect you the most?

currently break stuff -limp bizkit (and that worries me greatly)

3) What thing always makes your day when it happens/ you see it?

seeing my daughter asleep

4) If you could change one of your qualities, what would it be and why?

temper my biting wit

5) What in your life influences you the most?

victoria and my children. whatever i do in my life directly affects them

6) What has been your wildest/best/most interesting fantasy? Has it come true?

no comment. suffice to say it’s has.

7) Which feature of yours do you love? Which do you hate?

my brain. i’ve gotten to a point where i’m happy with how i am.

8) If you had to have a picture be your symbol, what would it be and why?

hmmm, the moon, it reflects the brilliance of other bodies.

9) What would you title the movie or soundtrack of your life?

999 Days

10) What are you most disappointed with so far?

that i’m married 18 months and haven’t spent as many days with my wife

Next Five: About Others

11) What’s one quality that makes a person worth being around?

– Sense of humor

12) What’s one thing about a friend that always pisses you off?

lack of loyalty

13) Ok, now vent your worst people experience:

too man to count

14) What is a major turn on?

intelligence, sense of humor and great legs

15) If you could create the perfect person, what three qualities would they have and what would they look like?

brilliant, funny, talented. long legs and a lovely smile.

Last Five:  About Life

16) What confuses you the most about life?

why people are so intolerant

17) What is one thing that goes on that makes you want to scream?

stupid people

18) Which matters more, people’s words or actions? Why?

actions. i’m in advertising, i sell lies for a living…

19) Does love really make the world go round? Is love present in today’s world?

it does. it’s hanging in there

20) What is one issue is most important to you?

tolerance

 

i must not fear. fear is the mind killer…

On June 18, 2003, in opinions, by keifel

i must not fear. fear is the mind killer. fear is the little death that brings about total obliteration. i will face my fear. i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past, i will turn with the inner eye to see it’s path. where the fear has gone, there will be nothing, only i will remain.

i just got up this morning and read k’s blog, it made me realise the nature of fear, i’ve started settling back in here, creating a life of some sorts, doing regular things, settling for a mediocre job, thinking about buy a car. as if being in trinidad is no longer a transient state. i still haven’t called the embassy. i know it’s not a fear of moving somewhere new, it is the most constant fear i have…

the fear of rejection.

what do i do if they say no? what is my next step? i can’t/don’t want to continue ‘seeing’ vic every couple of months, missing holidays, birthdays, wedding anniversaries. i need answers.

my brezsney today seems to be some sort of sign:

Music by Eminem can pump up a listener’s audacity. Because its wicked beats and hysterically ferocious sentiments raise testosterone levels in both men and women, songs from his CD “8 Mile” may also increase ambition, boost pride, and encourage forceful self-expression. You would greatly benefit from this kind of arousal in the coming week, Virgo. Your fervent assertiveness will be crucial to the well-being of both you and your cohorts. I suggest, then, that you cue up “8 Mile,” slip on the headphones, and crank up the volume. To accomplish the same result with the help of more elegant forms of masculine power, listen to the speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr. or read *Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela.*

time to face the office. adieu.

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that’s why i say –

On June 18, 2003, in personal, reviews, by keifel

i generally love heist flicks. i also love ensemble casts. so i was in my glee with ‘the italian job’, it was a fun, entertaining, and fun to watch.  and the score kicked major ass, i’m on amazon now, checking it out. one of the reasons i’m listening to pink floyd’s money is because there is a version in the film and it stuck in my head all the way home. (it’s not even available yet. sigh. onto the wishlist it goes. )

it’s always good to go see a film where the cast has fun together, i think it’s one of the reasons ocean’s 11 appeals to me so much. the original wasn’t anywhere as good as the remake. i, however, haven’t seen the original italian job, so it too joins the list.

i should get to bed. as much as i don’t want to, i’ve going work later. and it’s going to be just as bad as yesterday. i have a shoot at 1:30pm, i have no model and no costume. i also have to finish preproduction for friday’s shoot. i’m praying to every deity i know to cut me some kind of slack on friday – clear skies, fairly uncrowded beach. is that too much to ask? and i have more ‘work’ to do. you know i wouldn’t mind so much if the pay even compensated for the volume of work i have to do.

fuck it, i’m going to hold on to my  good mood and do you know why i’m in a good mood…

BECAUSE VICTORIA IS GOING TO BE HERE IN 30 DAYS

(aint html cool)

thank you and good night. i`ll be here all week, remember to tip your waitresses.

 

shit, i forgot to…

On June 17, 2003, in links, by keifel

include the links…

triple-dip tips (this one is especially for PTG, although i’m sure she knows all of this already)

the weekly dose of savage love

potter mania has begun

the smudge report

that’s all folks.

 

liberated from elsewhere…

On June 17, 2003, in memes, by keifel

this one is circulating all over and it’s helping me calm down after today’s multiple fiascos. i’m going to try and finish it before i head off to see the italian job at the movie. your true friends always know when you need that pick me up.

DESCRIBE YOUR…

Wallet –black old navy

Hairbrush – no need.

Toothbrush – green & white reach medium

Jewelry worn daily – wedding ring, thin white gold chain, earrings

Pillow cover – what ever my mother hands me

Blanket –ditto

Coffee cup –don’t drink coffee or tea, hence no cup

Sunglasses – none, thinking about getting a pair however

Underwear – mostly m&s and old navy boxer briefs

Favorite shirt – red voile shirt, white with blue and khaki hawiian-esque shirt

Cologne/Perfume –don’t wear any

CD in stereo right now – no more cds, just mp3s, 19Gb of them

Tattoos – large piece on my back, pic in the gallery, daughters names in sanskrit on my biceps, oroubus on right forearm, comet on my left forearm, moon on right bicep

Piercings – 2 left ear, 1 right ear, tongue

What you are wearing now – blue m&s boxer briefs

In my mouth –nada mas

In my head – i wish there is someway i could let vic know i was going to the movies now

Wishing – vic was going to the movies with me

After this – the italian job

Fetishes –spanking, dominance, submission, role reversal

If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? –noone

Person you wish you could see right now – victoria

Some of your favorite movies – the princess bride, ocean’s 11, secretary, fight club, the good the bad and the ugly, amelie, moulin rouge

Something you’re looking forward to in the upcoming month – 31 days til vic gets here

The last thing you ate – lunch (baked chicken, salad & rice)

Something that you are deathly afraid of – dying alone

Do you like candles – on occasion

Do you like incense – some

Do you like the taste of blood – mine

Do you believe in love – completely

Do you believe in soul mates – absolutely

Do you believe in love at first sight – without a doubt

Do you believe in Heaven – nope

Do you believe in God – A god

What do you want done with your body when you die – cremated and my ashes scattered

If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be – a big cat

What is the latest you’ve ever stayed up – does a week without sleep count?

Can you eat with chopsticks – not very well

What’s your favorite coin – quarter

What are some of your favorite candies – twix, extra polar ice, mint skittles

What’s something that you wish people would understand –i don’t know everything

What’s something you wish you could understand better – i can’t do everything

Who is someone that you really wish was still around –vic’s dad. he was an amazing person and i wish i could have know him better.

wow, this didn’t take as long as i expected. nice. i feel a lot better, i’m going to throw some clothes on to head off to the movies. i’ll either post my thoughts on it when i get back or i’’ll post in the morning. adieu.

 

i fucking give up

On June 17, 2003, in rants, work, by keifel

i’m a day away from handing in my resignation, i’m not sure how much more this level of shit i can deal with.

day before the shoot, the caterer/food prep my boss organised is unable to provide the quality and kind of food we need for the shoot.  they don’t have the garnishes, they don’t have the time. they don’t even specialise in the menu. on top of which my boss is unhappy with the quote from the photographer and wants to use someone else. bear in mind the office closes in 30 minutes or less but the time this posted, she’s out of the office right now.

it’s a good thing too, cause right now i just want to stab in the eye with a sharpie. i hate the fucking disorganisation and the cheapness of this place.

she doesn’t want to buy flatware, she doesn’t want to pay good photographers, she doesn’t want to buy props, she doesn’t want to pay models. cheap fuck.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

the job does not pay me for this stress. i have 15 fucking dollars to my name. which is just enough to get me home and back tomorrow. i hate this fucking job, my contract says i have to give three days notice (before i quit) til the end of this of this month (then i have to give a month`s notice)

should i quit now? before i kill someone with stationery? (although in this fucking place i`d have to bring my own)

 

quick links

On June 17, 2003, in links, by keifel

as i’m waiting for my pictures to convert and save, i’ve been cruising around online.

here are some interesting tidbits i found:

new tidbits to the Oxford English dictonary

ptv. lynch mtv vj? (although it is a NY Times story, it’s veracity may be in question)

i’ll be back. adieu.

 

shit, i forgot to…

On June 17, 2003, in links, by keifel

include the links…

triple-dip tips (this one is especially for PTG, although i’m sure she knows all of this already)

the weekly dose of savage love

potter mania has begun

the smudge report

that’s all folks.

 

liberated from elsewhere…

On June 17, 2003, in memes, by keifel

this one is circulating all over and it’s helping me calm down after today’s multiple fiascos. i’m going to try and finish it before i head off to see the italian job at the movie. your true friends always know when you need that pick me up.

DESCRIBE YOUR…

Wallet –black old navy

Hairbrush – no need.

Toothbrush – green & white reach medium

Jewelry worn daily – wedding ring, thin white gold chain, earrings

Pillow cover – what ever my mother hands me

Blanket –ditto

Coffee cup –don’’t drink coffee or tea, hence no cup

Sunglasses – none, thinking about getting a pair however

Underwear – mostly m&s and old navy boxer briefs

Favorite shirt – red voile shirt, white with blue and khaki hawiian-esque shirt

Cologne/Perfume –don’t wear any

CD in stereo right now – no more cds, just mp3s, 19Gb of them

Tattoos – large piece on my back, pic in the gallery, daughters names in sanskrit on my biceps, oroubus on right forearm, comet on my left forearm, moon on right bicep

Piercings – 2 left ear, 1 right ear, tongue

What you are wearing now – blue m&s boxer briefs

In my mouth –nada mas

In my head – i wish there is someway i could let vic know i was going to the movies now

Wishing – vic was going to the movies with me

After this – the italian job

Fetishes –spanking, dominance, submission, role reversal

If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? –noone

Person you wish you could see right now – victoria

Some of your favorite movies – the princess bride, ocean’s 11, secretary, fight club, the good the bad and the ugly, amelie, moulin rouge

Something you’re looking forward to in the upcoming month – 31 days til vic gets here

The last thing you ate – lunch (baked chicken, salad & rice)

Something that you are deathly afraid of – dying alone

Do you like candles – on occasion

Do you like incense – some

Do you like the taste of blood – mine

Do you believe in love – completely

Do you believe in soul mates – absolutely

Do you believe in love at first sight – without a doubt

Do you believe in Heaven – nope

Do you believe in God – A god

What do you want done with your body when you die – cremated and my ashes scattered

If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be – a big cat

What is the latest you’ve ever stayed up – does a week without sleep count?

Can you eat with chopsticks – not very well

What’s your favorite coin – quarter

What are some of your favorite candies – twix, extra polar ice, mint skittles

What’s something that you wish people would understand –i don’t know everything

What’s something you wish you could understand better – i can’t do everything

Who is someone that you really wish was still around –vic’s dad. he was an amazing person and i wish i could have know him better.

wow, this didn’t take as long as i expected. nice. i feel a lot better, i’m going to throw some clothes on to head off to the movies. i’ll either post my thoughts on it when i get back or i’ll post in the morning. adieu.

 

once again into the breech

On June 17, 2003, in love, lust, longing, work, by keifel

31 DAYS TO VICTORIA GETS HERE

i owe, i owe, so it’s off to work i go.

today is going to be one of sort of work days i like, stuff needing to finished on tight deadlines. i have 3 ads to get out today, but the time i get in my scan should have arrived. logo designs, advertorials (god i hate that word) all due by end of day or first thing in the morning. plus all the planning and stuff for the shoot.

it’s on of those no guts no glory days. i suppose i should be bothered but i think the excitement of victoria coming and all these lovely dreams. i’ve been having the most intimate and exciting dreams, i’m holding on to the joy they bring to take me through the day.

i’ll be back later with details of the day in progress. need to catch my ride.

adieu.