i eventually caved and called in for food and i’ve been watching about a boy (finally saw the beginning) and hoping vic comes online. but my nocturnal activities are catching up with me. my thighs and my back hurt, i really need to drop some weight and get some exercise, i’ve never come back from a party and felt this… beaten…
need to find someway to get rid of this breathless, achy, overexerted feeling… the gym is not an option.
is this my form of self-loathing or a wake up call to self? i used to be fat child, i grew out of it, but now i’m feeling positively unhealthy. i was completely breathless and sweaty climbing those stairs the day of the site visit. i used to run 10k dammit. i need to find something i enjoy doing (well, besides that) that’s a regular form of exercise.
i’m going to take a nap and consider it.
i went out with k and danced the night away and i ache and im exhausted. there was a time when i would have been rearing to go again, right now all i want to do is crawl back into bed. and thats not a bad idea at this point, its raining, its been raining all morning, i really just got out of bed to forage for food. im ravenous, but there doesnt appear to be much to eat and i dont particularly feel like leaving the house, the whole concept of putting clothes on and going out right now is just unappealing.
even in light of all this pain and exhaustion, im still planning on going to this old school party next weekend, cmon, evelyn champagne king, live and im going to miss it? i think not.
its too early to call in for food, no fruit, dammit, looks im actually have to go out. whoops a fresh downpour i think not. there must be something id eat in here.
ill be back
btw for those of you keeping track vic will be here in 26 days
results of my kink test
and the results of an astrological chart, i had done:
Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at http://alabe.com This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report!
Name: keifel agostini
August 23 1971
10:00 PM Time Zone is 4 Hrs. Includes daylight time if applicable.
port of spain,trin
Rising Sign is in 05 Degrees Taurus
Calm and deliberate, you hate to move quickly or act hastily. Very practical, every effort must count or you cant be bothered. Patient, persistent and steady, but very stubborn — you cant be pushed or pressured into anything. You seem outwardly self-assured because you tend to repress your inner tension and turmoil. You exude an earthy warmth, friendliness and charm. You demand comfortable surroundings and appreciate the good life. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent. At times, you are lazy and difficult to motivate. Overcoming inertia is a problem for you and, because you are not by nature a self-starter, it is often necessary for you to receive stimuli from others in order to get moving.
Sun is in 00 Degrees Virgo.
Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is — dont worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist — this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.
Moon is in 04 Degrees Libra.
Affectionate, warm and friendly, life must be a beautiful experience for you. Unpleasantness should be avoided at all costs. You tend to overlook other peoples faults and you would rather give in than fight. You are uncomfortable with strangers, but at ease and sociable with friends and associates. Indeed, you would rather socialize than work — you can use your prodigious charm to avoid unpleasant tasks. You need the support and assistance of another in order to get you started on any new project — you are not a self-starter. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent (i.e., lazy). Your refined aesthetic sensibilities attract you to music, dance, art and any other cultured activity.
Mercury is in 05 Degrees Virgo.
Very thorough and efficient, you pay attention to the minor but important details of any project. You are a careful thinker who can learn complicated, intricate techniques. You are attracted to practical, useful skills and are probably good at working with your hands. You are very critical of yourself and others, sometimes too much so, and you get the reputation of being a nag or of being nit-picky. Your first reaction to any situation is to try to organize, classify and analyze everything!
Venus is in 29 Degrees Leo.
You have a striking, regal appearance and demeanor that attracts others to you. Your friendship is highly sought and you tend to take friendships quite seriously — you remain loyal and true to those to whom you are attached. For you, love is mixed with pride and respect. Relationships are over when you lose respect for your partner. Be careful of a tendency to relate only to those who make you look good — the powerful, important and influential. This can lead to arrogance and selfishness, and neither of these qualities becomes you.
Mars is in 13 Degrees Aquarius.
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic — you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!
Jupiter is in 27 Degrees Scorpio.
You love to dig deep beneath surface appearances in order to find out what is really happening. A persistent researcher, you are very interested in the psychology of any situation. You tend to become overwhelmed by the complexity of what you uncover, however, and that makes you a bit gun-shy about explaining things to others. But you must learn to try to communicate as best you can because what you know is really very valuable to others.
Saturn is in 05 Degrees Gemini.
You are such a clear thinker and speaker, with a logical orderly mind, that you are repulsed by abstract, intangible or unorganized thoughts or ideas. But you tend to get uptight about speaking in public because you are afraid to be wrong. Remember that the best way to learn is by making mistakes. Also, you will be so carefully prepared that you probably will not make many mistakes anyway. To be interesting to you, ideas have to be practical and useful.
Uranus is in 11 Degrees Libra.
You, as well as your entire peer group, have a very free, unstable and unconventional approach to relationships and emotional commitments. You will be attracted to experiments in marriage and shared lifestyles. Personal freedom is more important to you than entangling emotional bonds. In the realm of art and aesthetics, you are attracted to the bizarre, shocking and unusual.
Neptune is in 00 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the global village.
Pluto is in 28 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in societys attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.
N. Node is in 14 Degrees Aquarius.
As long as someone else (or a group or organization) appeals to your intellectual sensibilities, youll try to ally yourself with them in some way. You may find that you always seem to get involved with many wide-ranging groups — so much so that you find it difficult to fit them all into your busy schedule. Your many friends and acquaintances provide you with needed stimulation. Youre loyal and fair-minded — you try to spend time equally with all your friends, never concentrating on just one or two for any length of time. Although probably quite conservative yourself, youre attracted to those who are a bit offbeat or eccentric — you enjoy watching their minds work.
and now im going to get dressed, k will be here in 30 minutes or less
this following week (june 19 – july 5) is pride week in trindad you can go here for the list of events.
im going with karen tonight to the non-official kickoff of pride week. i always enjoy going out with karen, i have a blast and we can point out all the cute people of any gender to each other. im eagerly awating her call. otherwise the evening has been rather uneventful, my primary browser – camino, has flaked out on me completely, it wont launch, reinstalled, dumped the prefs, only thing i can think is i installed divx on my machine and there seems to be a conflict somewhere. owning a mac, there hasnt been much a chance to seriously geek until x, so im gently probing. starting on the periphery and work my way to the root of the problem.
i really like camino, ive switched to mozilla temporarily.
amazingly metafilter is down, now where are am i supposed to find all the really cool news?
today is the summer soltice (the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere) and in pagan worship, i believe this is another high holy day. it does help clarify what ive been feeling. a day of power coupled with the fact that tomorrow will be 9 months since i last saw vic. the combination of these factors has my body in complete and total overdrive. its a lovely sensation to be this aware of my own sensuality and desire, but with out vic, its painful, on an emotional as well as physical level.
im going to watch some tv and try blot out the sensations for a little bit. ill be back either before or after karen and i head out.
machine is fixed. i am so good. no cash, but the person is travelling next week and is coming back with two copies of HP for me, so that`s cool.
i`m in distraction mode, so i got this questionnaire from someone else`s blog and it`s helping me get through the afternoon:
1. Full Name: keifel anthony horatio st. clair agostini
2. Were you named after anyone? with a name like that, the question is who i`m not named after
3. Do you wish on stars? i do
4. Which finger is your favorite? wedding
5. When did you last cry? a couple weeks ago
6. Do you like your handwriting? not really anymore
7.What is your favorite lunch meat? chicken
8. Any bad habits? too many to mention
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? no cds currently, but the most embarrasing mp3 in my collection is the timberlake album
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? what?
11. Are you a daredevil? not really
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? yep
13.Do you care about looks? not really
14. Have you ever misused or mispronounced a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Yes.
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No.
16. Do fish have feelings? what?
17. Are you trendy?No.
18. How do you release anger? i blog
19. Where is your second home? ha. that?s funny.
20. Do you trust others easily? no
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? i was partial to books, but i would have to say my bike
24. Have you ever been on radio or television? Yes.
25. Journal? yes
26. Do you use sarcasm a lot? what do you think?
27. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? yes
28. What do you look for in a guy/girl? brains and a sense of humour
29. What are your nicknames? pig, kei
30. Would you bungee jump? no
31. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no
32. What are you worried about right now? money for vic?s trip
33. Do you ever wear overalls? no
34. Do you think that you are strong? strong enough.
35. What?s your favorite ice cream flavor? cookies & cream
36. What?s your favorite colour? grey
37. What is your least favorite thing in the world? intolerance
38. How many wisdom teeth do you have? i think i have two left
39. Are you in love w/ anyone? YES! YES! YES!
40. How many people have a crush on YOU right now? no one as far as i know
41. Who do you miss most? victoria
42. what is your favorite t.v. show? gilmore girls, smallville, alias
i`m sure i missed something there. but onwards…
a rather nice hp story and a very interesting collection of barbies
and just in time, i got the religion test from a link on stellar`s blog,
the envelope please:
In fact, your test results show that you?re 86% compatible with Neo-Pagan religious beliefs.
How do we know this? Your high compatibility with these religions was assessed objectively based on how you answered questions on the test. Your score indicates that you share more core beliefs with this religion than you do with the other 9 world religions assessed in the test.
Here are some important details about the religion that might reveal why: Though different Neo-Pagan groups have different faiths, in general, they are primarily polytheists – they believe in multiple gods and goddesses. Most groups also have a highly personal relationship with nature and its seasons, observing important rituals throughout the year to express their faith. It appears that you are also interested in the natural world and the significance it has in your life. Recent attempts to reconstruct the ancient pagan faith; nearly wiped out after years of persecution; have unearthed spiritual texts and a highly secretive oral tradition. While the history of their religion is important, most Neo-Pagan practitioners worship in solitude, performing rituals of personal significance to express their own highly individual spirituality. Perhaps you too enjoy being alone when you want to reflect about the world.
Your belief system is 71% compatible with Unitarian Universalist religious beliefs.
But did you know that even though Unitarian Universalists have mixed beliefs about the existence of God, they tend to share the belief that there is something to be learned from every world religion- It appears that you are also open to a wide variety of religious and spiritual ideas. By accepting differences between individual spiritual beliefs, Unitarian Universalists come together under a few broad and inclusive moral ideologies. They pass their beliefs from generation to generation through their church`s literature and their teachings, both of which draw on many of the major spiritual texts from a variety of religions. Typically open-minded and intellectual, Unitarian Universalists encourage individual exploration of many different spiritual truths. They also tend to be politically liberal. It seems that you also see the importance of being open-minded and curious.
just got out of the shower. have a very long and refreshing shower – body shop grapefruit & lime body wash is divine. i also washed my hair, funny thing in the middle of the wash, rinse, repeat cycle i realised i’d washed my hair last weekend. well, i want to get it neatened this week anyway.
the personal grooming has begun, vic is 27 days away, i’ve already begun the dietary changes. well not changes per say, just a more careful monitoring of what ingest. less dairy, red meat, more fruit, particularly citrus and water. if you don’t what i’m talking about check here (i know i posted this already, but not everyone follows the links) and here. it’s a regular ritual, one which we’ve both found quite successful.
i’m sitting around in my boxers, with my wet hair on my back watching hackers (i’m a sucker for this movie, i’m not sure what i like more the faux-geek speak, the classic apple computers or the very butch angelina jolie) as soon as it’s done, i’m heading off to be a mac god for someone with a 15” lamp imac, it may be the ticket to get my copy of potter this afternoon.
ok, i’m starting to dry off in this heat, time to complete the ritual, no shower/bath is complete without body butter. today’s flavour is…
so many choices…
i chose…
MANGO.
i’m out, off to work for my hp. adieu.
Technorati Tags:
finances, harry potter, wyf, personal grooming, body butter
well, i went to the office and picked up my power adaptor, so now i don’t have to worry about the machine running out of juice in the middle of doing something. this morning i had to take a trek to st. james to get doubles, it’s been a while – doubles truly the breakfast of champions.
the sun is still blisteringly hot, haven’t had much rain so far for the weekend, i’m waiting to see how this becomes my fault in the monday production meeting. the hp is out and i don’t have a copy yet. there are on sale here, but if i shell out the cash to buy one today, i’m going to be destitute again, so i think i’ll wait til i get paid this week.
last night i continued this great book of short stories called the book of ifs and buts (i can’t remember the author at the moment) but the stories are all about immigrants and immigration and well written and captivating. read til i fell asleep.
anyway i’m hot and sticky in more ways than one, so i’m going to grab a shower and wash my hair, be back later.
Technorati Tags:
harry potter, doubles
got this from jadedgrrl:
33 things i hate about the internet
and that’s about as far as i got when i realised i’d left the power adaptor for my laptop in the office and i have 2 hours of charge left. i’m not going back tonight. so this is it for me for the night. i have at least 4 books in the bedside pile, see how well they do in the distraction factor.
adeiu.
today was productive, even with all the distractions of my body. i’m eternally gratefully that it’s just me here today, i don’t think i could have dealt with an office full of women today, it would have been down right embarrassing.
i feel as if my skin aflame. i need to get some ice cream, it’s the only thing i can think of that will subdue my oral fixation. masturbation is like a release valve, but only for one portion of my sexual tension. the ice cream helps, but it lacks a combination of stimuli to even come close.
i’m trying to distract myself and keep working but all my efforts have been unsuccessful. all i can think about it is the sensory overload, hands in my hair, thighs pressed against my ears, eyes closed, the taste, the smell of the goddess overwhelming me.
i need to go home. i’m going to take a very long shower.
Technorati Tags:
masturbation, oral fixation
i just went outside to get lunch. the was bearing down magnificently on me. what you wonder is wrong with this picture?
remember we cancelled the shoot this morning because the met office told me it was going to rain all weekend. well there is nary a cloud in the sky.
it’s a lovely day out. my thinking is if we’d even thought about shooting today the skies would have opened up and pissed on us. this way i get look for pictures that i like and if the client approves the campaign we can reproduce what’s in the layout.
i also just off the phone with the embassy in barbados, still no developments, at least they were pleasant today. so the wait continues. if anyone knows a way to ignite a fire under the collective asses of the ins please do. i miss my wife. is it really too much to be able to fall asleep and wake up next to her on a daily basis?
what i’m proud of is – it’s barely made a dent in my otherwise good mood. i’m entirely focussed on having vic here for 10 days. she gets to meet the fam and for 9 nights, i get to fall asleep with her skin next to mine. 28 days away. in 4 weeks time, i’ll be counting the hours til she gets here.
Technorati Tags:
immigration, wyf
