the likelihood that there will be an exit interview is slim and none. although now that i`ve had 24 hours to look back on it, the whole process was very strange.
in the process of handing my resignation in, my boss asked me if i wasn`t giving them two weeks` notice in light of the work that had to be produced and seemed genuinely hurt that i wasn`t. so i had to remind her that she had been advertising my position for the last three weeks so she could have one of the respondents to her ad start immediately. plus this is the same woman that never responded to the vacation request i`d put in since April and then further exacerbated the situation by suggesting that i hadn`t accrued any time off to take said vacation. she hasn`t done anything to endear any goodwill from me.
and just when i though it couldn`t get any stranger, it did; she played the race card. she said i`d hurt her as a `brother`. i was stunned. where was this racial love when she was advertising my job and screwing me out of my vacation?
i`m so glad to be out of this place, i feel better than i have in weeks, i don`t care about the vacation, fighting over it is not worth my piece of mind. i should get paid for this week, but my soon to be ex-boss let the hr/office manager leave for the week without saying a word to her about my departure on friday. so i`m not going to have a cheque for the week on friday or a letter promising that it will be covered in the next payroll and i`m a little worried about that.
i try not be nasty, not because i don`t like to, to the contrary i do it far to well, i seem to revel in a down and dirty fight especially when i feel i`m being taken advantage of. not getting paid would definitely be one of those situations.
it`s done. i`ve handed in my resignation and it seems somewhat anti-climactic. thus far it looks like i`m working out the rest of the week, but i`m not sure what mood swing is going to be this afternoon. all my stuff is packed, all personal traces have been removed from the computer, i`m ready to roll.
i`m not going to fight over my accrued vacation time, i pretty much want to shake the dust of this place off my feet and be done with it. i met some really nice people here, but i can`t work here anymore, i`m taking this shit home and i didn`t travel how many thousands of miles and suffer through all manner of humiliation to take a shitty day at the office home to vic.
i`d planned to hand in my resignation one way or another today, the fact that i got another job at this point is icing on the cake. thanks for all the good thoughts.
After being alone in the sandbox for some time, I was joined by a neighbourhood boy who not only liked the same games I liked, but also played with some flair and lots of enthusiasm.
We had a semi-regular play date. I looked forward to the games. We worked out a relationship that is best described as a hook-up.
Me and my boy from `round the way, we decided it would just be kept in the sandbox. Sure, we`d be friendly. And we wouldn`t really be trying to play with other partners. But the whole teif-head about “you`re-the-only-boy/girl-I-want-to-play-with-ever”-well, we agreed to skip that part.
It was, at first, extremely liberating. He`d come over, we`d play. We talked, too, exchanged thoughts and ideas on the world, politics and society. But mostly, we played.
Then the games began to ease up. The first time he came over “just to talk,” I more or less freaked out. I didn`t say anything but in my heart of hearts I wondered, “Is this the end of our beautiful playtime? Is this going to devolve into the bland and soggy terrain of `friendship?`” Because, let`s face it, I didn`t like the boy for his charm. In fact, it was just the opposite. It was his lack of charm that convinced me he could be excellent in the sandbox. A certain necessary roughness, if you understand what I`m saying. That`s not the kind of person I want to be friends with-my friends tend to be more “ejicated” and a little bourgie.
(So that outs me as an elitist.) This boy was not dumb but in a room full of people to talk to, he wouldn`t be my first choice. I guess that`s one of the reasons I agreed to a hook-up and not a dating relationship. I didn`t want him as a life-partner, just a playmate. And he knew it.
Whatever the reasons, the fun and games came to an end. Rather abruptly. One night he was in the sandbox; the next night he wasn`t. And he hasn`t been back since. I think he realised that, despite our original, civilised intentions, he wanted more than just fun and games. I think-and I could be wrong, very, very wrong-that he wanted to be more than just a plaything. And now, gentle reader, I am in the rare position of having a tabanca for someone I`m not in love with, not dating and really had no plans of being involved with over a long term.
So what happened?
Is it that I discovered that I can`t keep the apples and oranges separate?
Is it that, in trying to separate my sandbox from the rest of my “real” life, I was being self-deceptive?
Or is it that I have fallen prey to the age-old appeal of the unattainable?
In making his exit from my sandbox, did he make his entre into my heart?
Just because he disappeared, is he more appealing?
Ah, who the hell knows. Right now, I don`t much care, either. I am feenin` for him, and I`d settle for the friendship-that`s how bad it is. Oh, who am I kidding. I miss the games. I want him back in my sandbox, and I want him now. If a relationship is the price I have to pay, so be it. Bring on the violins.
[ed note:
tabanca, n. (ta-ban-kaa)
Trinidad & Tobago
1. A state of sadness or depression caused by the abscence (temporary or permanent) of a loved one
2. A state of sadness or depression caused by unreturned love
3. A state of fear or worry, caused by concern over the infedelity of an absent loved one
from skettel.com]
On Tuesday night I had an opportunity to see a preview screening of the latest addition to the Batman franchise, Batman Begins. I will start by saying two things: it was very good and there is hope for this franchise yet.
Batman, created by Bob Kane in the 1940s for DC Comics, featured one of the first costumed crime fighters without super powers. “Traumatised by witnessing the murder of his parents, the young Bruce Wayne vows to avenge their deaths by spending the rest of his life bringing criminals to justice in his home of Gotham. He uses his vast fortune to study criminology, train his body and mind to perfection and assemble a batcave full of vehicles and gadgets,” summarised the BBC in an obituary of Kane, who died in 1998.
The movie is the fifth big-screen adaptation of the comic book franchise.
The first one, released in 1989, was directed by Tim Burton and featured Michael Keaton as the Batman and an over-the-top Jack Nicholson as Batman`s long time nemesis, the Joker. Burton also directed the sequel, which didn`t quite hit the mark.
There were then two incredibly bad Joel Schumacher-helmed transgressions, Batman Forever and Batman & Robin, which turned the franchise into a gaudy, neon-lit, homoerotic romp. The major draw for fans of the comics has always been the darkness of the character and the struggle to balance the character of the billionaire playboy by day and masked crime fighter by night. The 60s TV series and previous three films seemed to miss that mark with oversimplification, garish colours and ham-fisted direction and acting. There seemed to be a belief that because the source material was a comic the characters were two-dimensional.
However, Chris Nolan, director of the incredibly strange thriller Memento, has restored the good name of the Batman. Batman Begins is incredibly dark and layered, it strains at its PG-13 rating and, thankfully, features a nipple-less Batsuit.
Batman Begins follows the path of a young multi-billionaire orphan, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), seeking the tools to avenge his parents` murder and bring justice to the streets of Gotham. The movie features an all-star cast, including Oscar winners Michael Caine as Wayne`s butler, Alfred; Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox, the inventor of many of the Bat`s toys; as well as Liam Neeson as Henri Ducard, Wayne`s trainer; Gary Oldman as Sgt Jim Gordon; Rutger Hauer; Tom Wilkinson; and Katie Holmes. Relative newcomer Cillian Murphy, best know for his role in 28 Days Later, plays Dr
Jonathan Crane/The Scarecrow, Batman`s first costumed adversary.
One of the things I really enjoyed about this movie was how dark it was. Christian Bale has made a fine living playing dark and troubled characters and doesn`t slouch playing the Bat. Unlike all the other films in the series, there is no campiness, intentional or not. All the major characters get off a couple of truly funny one-liners but Nolan has helmed a film more reminiscent of Frank Miller`s Batman: Year One than DC comics` monthly titles.
This movie isn`t so much about the Bat`s adversaries but how the mythos was created and the development of the toys that the Batman has been know for, including the Batmobile and the Batsuit. It isn`t high art but it is an entertaining way to spend an afternoon and gives fan boys like myself hope for the future of the franchise-especially since there is word that most of the principles have signed on for a three-picture deal, making the sequels inevitable.
i was chatting with a friend this morning about computing and i realised that i`ve been a computer use for an incredibly long time. more than two thirds of my life. and it`s fascinating to see how far we`ve come.
from tape drives and an entire OS fitting on a 20Mb drive and some of the more popular applications fitting on a 800k diskette. i was in the store looking at the price and size of drives and remembered when the company i was working for paid over $800 for a hard drive that held less that the contents of a CD. and you could only burn a CD with a proprietary burn. i don`t necessarily long for those day, i`m just kind of stunned when i think about how much has happened in a such a short period of time.
i`m got more hard disk space on the desktop i`m using at the office than the entire art department had at my first job, time has flown. and not really meaning to bring this back to the apple processor switch again but i`m quite excited by it, i`ve been through the ups, downs and lateral movements for the last 13 years. i was using macs professionally when they switched from 680×0 to the PPC, i was still using them during the clone wars and i think this is just another one of those necessary changes that probably wont turn out as badly as people think it`s going to.
i`m trying to keep my head up, i really am, but it`s really difficult. i`m going to get fired, it`s not paranoia when your boss is advertising your job. the retail job is fun and everything but pays half the hourly rate of what i`m making now.
i`m sending out resumes and not even getting rejection letters. that`s particularly demoralising, i`m not even good enough to respond to? the possible project that the placement firm liked me for is on hold so that`s out. although the woman at the placement firm is doing the best she can. she`s got me a possible supplemental job and she`s saying they can get me a number of temp positions based on my skill sets.
the $1,000,000 questions or in this case the $x an hour questions are — will it match or exceed what i`m making now, can i temp 40 hours a week and should i resign before i`m fired?
this is difficult. there was a fairly momentous announcement from Steve Jobs yesterday and i`d really like to throw my 2¢ in the ring, but i can`t. one of the things i agreed to when i took this job was not discuss the company in a public forum.
i`m going to say what i can; yesterday, Apple announced that they were going to switch to Intel processors starting 2006 with a complete transition by 2007, there`s been a lot of commentary in a number of places, a lot of people feel betrayed but honestly i think this is for the best. this is not the official word from on high, i just think it`s a step in a new and interesting direction. it`s thinking different taken to an incredibly logical extreme.
and that`s all i can say about that.
edit:
a fairly reasonable article on the whole situation.
i was trying to find official photos of the store opening on saturday but thus far; zip. i did however find a flickr gallery of one of the many that stood in the line this weekend.
the rest of the photos are here
edit [6/12]
i`ve found yourmaclife.com has a two part video of the opening here and here.
i came, i saw, i kicked ass, i took names and my feet are killing me.
today was the grand opening of our store. after 46 hours of training, i was unleashed on an unsuspecting public; i was polite, i was helpful and apparently people liked me. go figure.
i have to say my first foray into the retail experience was not as bad as i expected. considering that over the course of the day i think at least 3000 people came through the doors of the store. we had 1000 tshirts to give away and they were gone in two hours and there wasn`t a let up until about and hour before i left.
and i`m back in the fray for a full day again tomorrow, aching feet and all.
i am a better person because of my wife. hence this week is incredible difficult for me. there are only two more days before she`s back from the trip, but i`m having trouble sleeping and i`m irritable.
i haven`t heard a peep about any of the jobs i`ve applied to and i think i can across an ad for my job and my boss is interviewing people. in normal circumstances, that would mean; cool, some help. but she`s cut back one person`s hours, i know i`m going to get fired. i`d really just like the opportunity to do leave before it happens.
i`ve been playing nice but it`s wearing thin, especially with vic not here. she`s an incredibly nice and kind person, i just try for her sake and without her here for temperance, i don`t know if i can keep up the facade. i have to because there is no money tree and the little that i do make keeps us fed and sheltered.
