sex and love

i had the fortune; or misfortune depending on your perspective; to be able to differentiate sex from love very early on. and based on my experiences i think the two can exist independently of each other but real satisfaction doesn`t happen without either of them.

as a young man, i didn`t look like the sort that would require you to lock your daughters away from, but i was. it was just disguised better, i was articulate and polite; which impressed the parents greatly and i was discreet and willing; which impressed the young ladies greatly. consequently i was slightly more successful than my peers when it came carnal activities.

and abiding by my own sexual rules; do unto others and the three stages of experimentation; by the time i was officially an adult, i`d tried just about everything i`d wanted to at that stage and was looking for some more long term. plus the spectre of AIDS had begun to rear it`s head and i scared myself into monogamy.

i became to some extent a serial monogamist, i would go from long term relationship to long term relationship and there was a pattern there too, i would get involved with friends. for one reason or another most of my close friends are female. thinking about it carefully, most of friends; full stop; are female. i have less than ten male friends. and with one exception, i`m still friends with all the exes in my adult life.

what does all of this have to do with sex and love?

sex on its own can get boring and monotonous, no matter how many people you sleep with or possibly because of how many people you sleep with. at the end of the day, the body parts are pretty much the same, it`s just the packaging that differs. love adds a new mental connection, a je ne c`est quoi to the arrangement of body parts and exchange of fluids. sex on its own is good, but without love, the extra spark is missing.