the adrenaline has passed, now it`s all about the logistics.

do i go to trinidad first? how much time do i have? do i send my books and stuff i`m not using now by post?  what are we going to do for money? what am i going do until i get my work permit?

the control freak in me needs to have all these questions answered. i awoke with a start this morning. don`t get me wrong, it`s not that i don`t want to be with vic, i need to start planning, but without all the necessary details, i`ll just be spinning around uselessly, which in my fragile little mind is even worse than sitting around doing nothing.

i think this need to plan comes from mother. she wasn`t a planner, or if she was she didn`t stick to it, she was the antithesis of planning. i couldn`t deal with as a child and now that i have some measure of control, i want it all.

i`ve said this before, but i`m the worse case scenario guy, i make plans, i make contingency plans and then i make contingency plans for those plan. even as i sit here typing this, i`m working on plans A through M.

i need to disconnect my phone and cable, find somewhere to stay if i need to in the days after my lease is up. i need to let the office know i`ll be moving on. all of this shit and the fulcrum of all of this activity, is completely out of my hands.

how nice.

just needed to get that off my chest.

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