Archives For sickness


November 14, 2007 — Leave a comment

it’s 5am as i sit here writing this and i’ve know in the back of my mind this day has been coming. it’s not quite here yet, but it’s close enough.  i rarely remember my dreams, but about a month ago, i dreamt my mother called to tell my grandmother was dead. 

i’ve been waiting on that early morning call since then. she’s not dead, but when you’re older than 90, a second trip to the hospital in less than 2 months isn’t good.  i’m worried and sad. but at the same time, the woman i saw a year and a half ago was just a shell of her former self and if it’s her time, then she’s lived a long full life and i’m glad to have been part of her life. 

i have her stories, she’s seen me grow up and i hope and pray that i’m turning into the man she expected.  i’m worried now about my mother, who seems stoic now. i wonder what she’s going to do with herself without my grandmother around. what’s going to keep her motivated and active. i once joked that through all their arguing, they were keeping each other alive, i’m afraid it might be true.

i’m so far away and i feel powerless. i can’t hold my grandmother one last time, i may not even get to do that for my mother. all i can do is wait, i’ve never dreaded a ringing phone so much.

the boychick is unwell today, so i got an opportunity to work from home. god i`ve missed it. no silly questions, no ringing phones and best of all, the comforts of home.

there seems to be some sort of infection going around the school system in middle TN, three of the boychick`s classmates and at least two teachers from his school are out sick and at least one set of schools in Nashville is closed.

we gave the boychick some children`s motrin last night because he was running a fever but other than that we`re trying to avoid pumping him full of medication so his body can at least build some kind of resistance.

every time i see one of these disinfectant ads, two thought cross my mind, Stephen King`s superflu from The Stand and George Carlin talking about being tempered in raw shit growing up, and the thought scares me. i was one of those children that lived by the five second rule, ate dirt at one point or another, raced boats in the gutters and i`ve grown up to be pretty healthy, our bodies need to experience germs and infections in order to be able to combat them.

this rush to take medication the minute we think we`re sick, to disinfect the shit; no pun intended; out of everything and the massive quantities of antibiotics we consume in our food supply are necessarily making us healthier just more susceptible to a more dangerous class of germs.