looking forward, looking back

November 17, 2004 — Leave a comment

my grandmother`s birthday is in a month, more or less, on the same day as my ex-wife, is one of my best friends in the world. as it`s inappropriate to discuss a lady`s age i`m not going to say how old my grandmother is. what i am going to do is marvel at her experiences.

my grandmother was born less than 100 years after slavery was abolished in the British colonies, less than 50 years after it was abolished in the US. She`s lived through two world wars, seen transportation and communication grow by leaps and bounds.

i always find it fascinating to think that when my grandmother was the age i am now, electricity, telephones and indoor plumbing were all still luxuries. i think it`s one of the things that help give me perspective.

my grandmother is bedridden, some of it due to old age and partially due to sheer ill will towards my mother, but mentally she is razor sharp. i`m sorry i`m not going to be there to share this birthday with her and i worry about her and my mother. to describe their relationship as antagonistic would be polite, but i think it keeps them alive and i worry if something happens to one of them, the other is not going to be around much longer after that.

i worry about them and i miss them, but i can`t just pick up and go see them, i can`t pick up and go anywhere for at least two years and that bothers me as well. my fervent prayer is they can both hold on at least for me to see them one more time.

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