it’s interesting that this came up, considering i got my personality test results back this week.

my support system is a small handful people, all of them close friends that i can rely on for unfiltered and completely honest opinions and if i need help of some sort they`ll be there for me.

growing up it was just my mother and myself and for most of my childhood, i was a latch key child and when i was out with my mother i was with adults of the `children should be seen and not heard` school and that was fine by me, i sat quietly and observed and read. and i came away with some warped life lessons, most of them having to do with the unreliable nature of people in general and only relying on yourself to get stuff done properly.

as an adult i applied that to my working life, so much that for a long time i ended up doing more work than i needed to and got a reputation as a control freak. in my personal life i was the person that couldn`t say no and tried to please everybody and took on more than i could handle because i didn`t trust people to do what i asked, no matter how clear my instructions were. it`s kind of hard to build a support system with that kind of attitude.

about the same time i was suffering from insomnia and realising that i could possibly spend the rest of my life alone, i was figuring out that having people i could rely on would not necessarily a bad thing. it`s a work in progress. i`m still incredibly self reliant and i`ll still bend over backwards to help people, but i am mastering the art of saying no and if i need help i`m learning to ask for it.

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