no focus

August 6, 2003 — Leave a comment

i’m sitting here at work, supposedly working on this logo, i’m uninspired, unable to focus, strangely i don’t  think this has much to do with my unhappiness with my job. honestly, i miss vic. i’m finding it almost impossible function since she left, i can’t sustain the energy to do anything. i can’t deal with large groups of people. i want the company of other people, but at the same time, i don’t want to have to deal with people. i have stuff to do and i don’t feel like doing it. i’m extremely irritable and short tempered. i’m trying to hold it together because it’s what i do, but i’m not sure how much longer i’ll be able to keep up the facade. i find myself on the verge of bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. i have the attention span of a gnat. i’m trying to finish typing this to trying and work out what’s going on with me and i’m fidgeting with my book, trying to do something with the logo.
i’m not doing anything well, cause i’m not focussing. i want to get some ink, the pain usually helps me focus and helps ground me. right now i feel as if i’m walking aroud in a dream.

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