facebook has me thinking about the nature of friendship.
i’ve met a lot of people in my life and there are quite a few that i’m honoured to call my friends. one of my best friends is my ex-wife and we joke that we almost ruined a perfectly good friendship by getting married. one of my friends has described me as the person that you call to help you bury the body. all of this to say friendship is not something i take lightly.
which is why i approached facebook with a different perspective than most. i joined to keep in contact with my children and as more and more people i knew joined it helped me keep in touch with them. people that occasionally sent multi-kb missives every few months are now more accessible. one of my policies is not to add people i don’t know. according to some people that’s contrary to what facebook is about. i’m late 30-something year old man, i don’t need to be making friends online.
what’s interesting about that stance is how people react. if i get a request and i don’t know who it is, i tend to send an email requesting clarificaiton. there are people that have changed their names, people who i only knew by their nicknames, people i’ve worked with or went to school with and forgot about. in the twenty-something years since i’ve left high shcool i’ve worked in advertising and the media, two fields that afforded me the opportunity to meet a ton of people. i honestly don’t remember everyone, so i am going to ask how we know each other and if you can’t be bothered to answer, i’m not going to accept the request. cussing me out for denying your request simply proves i’m right not accept the request. and on that subject, if i went to school with you and you kicked my ass on a daily basis, i’m not going to be your friend. it’s petty yes, but i think i’m entitled to hold a grudge.
i think facebook is a great way to network and meet new people but not everyone uses it for the same purpose and as part of a social construct, that should be acceptable too.
exactly why I haven’t taken the plunge yet. My wife joined and became frustrated with so many requests from people we don’t know.
amen.
I’d have to agree with you on this one. I have a friends and networks only profile, so I tend not to approve people I don’t know. And on the occasion that I do, it’s because we might move in the same circles/have many mutual friends.
I’ve been told by so many people that the site is meant to expand your circles and allow you to meet new people. But there’s a reason why my profile is limited; letting someone in is like letting them into your life of friends, family, hobbies, pictures et al. You should know who they are.
Some people are OK w/that. I guess it all depends on what you’re on there for…
Just what i needed, have posted this on my facebook profile, with the comment ‘ditto’, you say it better than I ever could.