sometime during the night, the pit moved and swallowed me. i don’t have the strength to fight it. i feel tired, soul weary. waking up to rain usual helps improve my mood, all it did this morning is make me cry. i really just want to crawl back into my bed and stay there until vic arrives. i just feel so lost and lonely.
how did this happen overnight, i was fine last night, wasn’t i? or having been hiding the obvious from myself. i’m not in a foul mood, i just feel lethargic and helpless. i’m sitting here trying to write this and i don’t know why i’m bothering. everything seems pointless.
it’s taken me the better part of 45 minutes to write this missive you see before you.
what the hell is going on with me? i hate feeling like this, i’m no use to myself, i’m no use to anyone like this.
i’m going to have a shower, maybe that will help. something has to give.
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