there is a cycle of arousal i go through. it`s not that i don`t always want vic, it`s just there are times like now that the need reaches a fever pitch.
my skin tingles with the thought of her, i can almost smell her and at times i do, only to realise she`s not there. as with almost everything else with us, the cycles intertwine for us.
this was supposed to be our week, vic was supposed to arrive here yesterday to spend a week. things didn`t work that way and with everything else, it is for a purpose. the plans for this week were made before the letter arrive, before the need to buy a ticket of my own.
but that brings up a new sets of wants and desires. it`s been six months. six months with a longing as constant as the tides. six months of soon, soon, soon.
masturbation is more of a pressure release valve, than a true pleasure. but there some, the shared ones, the ones inspired by emails and ims and text messages and remembrances that just for a moment seem to come, at least marginally, close to the intimacy we share.