this is the third or fourth time i`ve started writing this entry. i haven`t been able to get into it, i have no idea why. probably the same reason i didn`t post yesterday.
my thoughts are all jumbled, i`m trying to sort out my life. the malaise and unease are back, but i don`t feel like whining about it anymore. i need to do something.
pool last night was good, i had a blast, i was making shots, winning even but at some point i drifted off, i`m not focussing and i don`t know why.
vic is worried and distress and i can feel that as well, i`m not sure how of what`s going now is her or is me or if we`re just feeding off each other.
this coming week i`m supposed to hear from jamaica and i`m thinking i`m too excited, i`ve put faith in getting this job and maybe i`m not as good as i think i am.
i have two weeks left at this job i loath and although i`ve quit better jobs than this before, but somehow this time it`s weighing on me. i`m really worried about the finances.
i think i`ve rambled enough. going to take a shower and a nap
