Archives For joy

we have…

July 28, 2004 — Leave a comment

beautiful, intelligent children, an apartment, bills, a car; but no car payment, debt, jobs, food in our refrigerator, good friends, a life together.

a year ago today, vic left Trinidad for the first time and we were unsure what vagaries the USCIS held for us. one year later, we`re together at last, savouring the simple things, curling up next to each other in bed for that extra five minutes in the morning, laying in bed reading before we fall asleep, sharing the kitchen, that kiss before we separate for the day.

i am eternally grateful for everything we have. it`s been almost 5 months since i arrived here and it`s not been all rosy and sunshine everyday since i`ve arrived, but i can deal with that too.

we have each other.

not the stop and start like it has for the last couple of weeks, the true torrential downpour, the seems like the heavens are crying. i can hear it beating on the roof of the building. constantly, i love that sound but it makes me so sad, i can run out and run about and feel the rain against my face and i can’t curl up in bed and whisper sweet nothings as the rain sounds plays it accompaniment. 

there is still nothing for me to do here at work and my boss has left me in charge, so being the exlemplar, i can’t duck work now, walk home in the rain, dump my wet clothes on the floor and crawl into bed. 

i’m seeing the edge of the black pit of despair and hearing it’s siren song. i should go work on the screenplay as promised, but i don’t have the energy. 

look forward to the weekend a voice in my head whispers (you know you have them too, so don’t give me that look, when you start having conversations with them, then worry), i’m going to a party tomorrow and then going to finish (or at least continue) my tattoo, on saturday. it’s also a f1 weekend, so in all, quite a number of distractions in all. 

that means i just have to get through this afternoon, all day tomorrow. not as easy as it sounds. wait i have a cheesy novel in my bag, aha, the afternoon’s entertainments just presented itself. 

adieu.