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i’m in trinidad for a week, primarily for this reason:
it’s hard to believe that she’s been here three weeks but she has and tomorrow afternoon she begins the first leg of her journey home. there is already a pallor over the house. the boy chick is loathe to lose his partner in crime and near constant companion and i know exactly how he feels. there was a different tone to the house over the last three weeks and i’m going to miss it.
my mother and grandmother have issues with each other. and the fact that they have been living together for the last 16 years hasn`t actually helped matters.
my mother has never forgiven her mother for abandoning her as a child and my grandmother has never forgiven my mother from dragging her away from everything and everyone she knew to live in Trinidad. and on this basis the two of them are constantly bickering. a fight of epic proportions the first year that my grandmother was in Trinidad effectively ruined Christmas for me as an adult.
there are cycles to the bickering and they tend to behave when i`m around or when my girls are, however since my departure things have gotten worse and worse. i have believed; probably idealistically; that the bickering was keeping them alive. the fact that they had each other to antagonise gave them the will to wake up each morning.
now that is about to change and i`m worried that i may not see one of both of them alive again. my mother is unable to deal with my grandmother anymore is putting her in a home. and before you pass judgement, bear in mind that mother just turned 70 and my grandmother is in her 90s. my grandmother is mostly bedridden; but of her own volition. i don`t disagree with the decision but i worry about how they are going to make out without each other.
the weather has started to get nippier and i`m liking it. i`m really looking forward to holidays, which is a kind of unfamiliar feeling for me as an adult. part of it, is how welcome vic`s family has made me feel. i`ve been to at least four gatherings since i`ve been here and that still hasn`t been one where all her siblings and their children have been there. just to help you conceptualise how big a family this is, vic is the second to last of eight and there is a niece or nephew graduating high school every year from now until 2018.
we`re having a small reception to celebrate our marriage this weekend and two of the siblings and their children wont be able to make it and it`s still close to 50 people including a handful of close friends.
growing up in a two person household makes me much more appreciative of large family gatherings and there are at least two more before the year is out. i`m looking forward to thanksgiving and christmas, the company is sure to be good and the food should be magnificent. vic`s mother spoils us, every weekend we go to visit we`re fed like kings particularly on sunday mornings when she gets up and makes waffles, from scratch. it`s a wonder i haven`t been putting on weight.
in other news, my probationary period at my job is now over, i`m a permanent staff member now and i have health insurance, what i`m paying to have vic and the boychick covered is a little steep but worth the peace of mind. it`s comforting to know we`re all covered. coming from socialised healthcare to PPOs and HMOs takes some adjustment.
i`d been humming duelling banjos since friday when we left to go see vic`s mom. i`d been joking with vic that i might not make it back from meeting her family, but it was all said in jest. so it`s all out there now, it took a while but it`s done.
i had a great weekend, it was fun and comfortable and i was fed and fed and fed. i thought i was going to have to roll home. and speaking of which i`m back down from the 300+ mark, 288 and slipping. no fancy diet, unless you call not eating out a diet. we`ve been cooking and eating at home.
well i`m minding the boychick and friend so i should go see what they`re up to.
so i cooked to today for mother’s day, had the whole sit down sunday lunch, my grandmother, my mother, my younger daughter, my ex wife, her younger daughter and her boyfriend.
maybe i should explain this now, my exwife, pig, is one of my best friends in the world. she has two children – i (our child) and n (her and a guy she planned to marry [another long tale, which i can’t get into now]) her current boyfriend, j, is the brother of the person (ndelamiko) that help vic and i arrange our wedding in barbados. are you with me so far? ain’t life funny
that’s how my life is. but lunch was great and afterwards j and i sat on the porch and talked, comics, movies, tv. he’s a pretty cool dude and at the end of the day i’m glad to see pig happy. i’m also a little envious, that she gets to spend time with her special someone. i’ll get over it eventually.
lunch on the whole was a big hit, it’s inspired me, i want to throw dinner parties and have people over talking all manner of shit on manner of subjects over good food. if i can just figure out where i’m going to do it. lol.
the matrix opens in 5 days, i’m trying to see how many people i can convince to duck work and come with me on thursday to the cinema, i did it the last time, but i went on my own, i think it would be so much more fun to go with friends.
anyway i’m off to watch secreatary and figure out why the apple dvd player refuses to work under 10.2.6 (aint technology grand)