Rules of the International Confederation of Dreadlocked Persons (revised)

September 14, 2008 — Leave a comment

whether you`re just starting out or you`ve had your dreadlocks for sometime there are a couple of fundamental rules, we hope by committing them to paper they will make things clearer for you.

rule #1:
recognise your appellations.

once your dread is at a recognisable length, you find yourself being called by these names, it`s in your best interest to learn them: `dread`, `ras`, `fari` and `brethren` or `sistren` as applies.

rule #2:
acknowledging your fellow dreadlocks.

the correct procedure for acknowledging your fellow dreadlocks is the head nod. there are variations on this including the closed fisted chest thump and the close fisted chest thump with greeting: `bless` or `respect`. white people with dreads are required to acknowledge black dreads but the reverse does not necessarily apply.

rule #3:
you will get questions about your hair.

there are going to be a lot of questions and comments about your hair and it`s best to be prepared, following are a number of common hair related statements for which you can develop your own standard answers to.

“is that your hair?”
“how long did it take you to grow?”
“how often do you wash your hair?”
“you don`t have to do anything to it. right?”
“are you rastafarian?”
“do you eat meat?”
“i wish i could grow my hair like that”
“why you want to do that to your hair? you have such nice hair.”
“can i touch your hair?”
“i just had to touch it, i`ve never felt dreadlocks before.”

rule #3b:
people will try to touch your hair without permission

you should either learn the head bob, lean or hand swat to avoid said touches, more on this in another bulletin.

rule #4:
you are expected to be a definitive source on bob marley.

this includes his music and his life, as well as all aspects of reggae and jamaican culture.

rule #4b:
you are expected to own clothes with the colours of red, gold and green, in combination.

rule #5:
you have marijuana.

you will always have marijuana and related peripherals on your person, otherwise you will have connections with various retailers of said and be on a first names basis and immediate contact with them.

rule #6:
expect delays at airports.

if you are a dreadlocks originating in the caribbean with a caribbean passport, expect to spend a lot of time answering questions. particularly about your net worth, your ability to provide for yourself, the length of your stay and the contents of your luggage. if you don`t answer these questions to their satisfaction, there may be a cavity search in your future.

rule #7:
dreads decrease your intelligence and your ability to do your job.

once you have dreads in the work place expect people to talk down to you and ignore your advice. you brain has been contaminated by the dreads and the only thing you can talk about with any authority is marijuana and bob marley.

rule #8:
you are a stereotype.

there is no getting around it. learn to accept it. here are just a few you need to get accustomed to:

you are a drug dealer
you have a big penis.
you are promiscuous.
you don`t perform oral sex.
you are/will be doing something illegal.
you have/will spent time in jail.
you have a jamaican accent.
you are belligerent.
you are uneducated.
you are a bad person.
you are lazy.

we here at the ICoDP are here to help, but we may have missed some of the rules, please feel free to let us know and we will try to include any omissions. we will try to cover all stereotypes so no dreadlocked person is misrepresented.

Technorati Tags:
, , ,

keifel

Posts